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Legit question: How do you know if your male friend is catching feelings?

Recently, he has been complimenting me a lot and saying how my family members are lucky to have me as their daughter. Making sure I am ok and asking about my future and encouraging me to do better. Replies to my long messages and he does not mind reading them. We never call only text.

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Anonymous edited this post .

Legit question: How do you know if your male friend is caughing feelings?¬ ¬ Recently, he has been complimenting me a lot and saying how my family members are luckinglucky to have me as their daughter. Making sure I am ok and asking about my future and encouraging me to do better. Replies to my long messages and he does not mind reading them. We never call only text.

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Lano
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caughing?

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Anonymous edited this post .

Legit question: How do you know if your male friend is caughingcatching feelings?¬ ¬ Recently, he has been complimenting me a lot and saying how my family members are lucky to have me as their daughter. Making sure I am ok and asking about my future and encouraging me to do better. Replies to my long messages and he does not mind reading them. We never call only text.

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Lano wrote:
caughing?

Sorry my grammar, I meant catching

Yorick
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coughing?

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I’d say him asking about your future and showing concern for your well being is a good sign he’s got feelings for you. Whether they develop into romantic feelings or not depends on how you each play your cards in near future.

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Lano
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Never calling is normal in this day and age. Ive been dating a girl two years and i'm pretty sure we've talked on the phone maybe ten times but we text everyday.

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Lano
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When you're young (that is my assumption here) its hard to discern "guy/girl is real pleasant and being nice to me" and "guy/girl likes me."

In any case you could just ask him but human psychology says you probably won't. These things will take their natural course one way or the other, the best advice that is also prkbably impossible to take is "don't get an ulcer over this stuff, in the long run its probably not that important."

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Yes.

In general just assume that your guy friends will develop feelings for you at some point in time. If you feel the same, tell him. If you don't, be clear that you don't without hurting his feelings.

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How do you know if your male friend is catching feelings?

He will often think of you at given nights.

https://youtu.be/wv-34w8kGPM

Yorick
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well, hmm. sometimes us guys dont know how to express our feelings so we are super helpful instead.. its not invasive or intrusive. on the other hand playing it safe keeps us from feeling rejected. perhaps he's waiting for you to say something.

start with asking " do you like me? " as if the real question is.. do you even like him?

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Do you see each other, like face to face? If the answer is no it's hard to say if you are trying to send signals between the lines in text. Men don't usually send signals of their own. They say very plainly what they mean, unless they're into writing lyrics or poems.
If you are starting to have feelings for him over and above a platonic friendship I would just come out and plainly tell him that. He may not feel the same way but at least you will know now before you start having stronger feelings and you end up with a broken heart. Honesty. First. Always.

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It was a lot easier in my youth. I used to get notes passed to me with two boxes... Do you like me? Check yes or no. It seems like technology is ruining the subtle finesse of notes like this.

Also I never even suspected that you didn't actually see this person in real life until I read the other comments. Online romances with strangers seem to have become the norm now though. If you actually are living in a close proximity to this guy and you two see each other often it should be pretty obvious.

It's a lot easier to tell if someone is romantically interested in you when you are standing right in front of them. The body sends messages, whether you want it to or not. Teen boys especially have bodies that react to women that are attractive. So the next time you see him stand too close, invade his space and put your hand on his arm and swing your hair around so that it brushes against him. Then look in his eyes and the answer should be clear.

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Anonymous wrote:
I’d say him asking about your future and showing concern for your well being is a good sign he’s got feelings for you. Whether they develop into romantic feelings or not depends on how you each play your cards in near future.

Thank you for replying. He does this all the time.

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Lano wrote:
When you're young (that is my assumption here) its hard to discern "guy/girl is real pleasant and being nice to me" and "guy/girl likes me."

In any case you could just ask him but human psychology says you probably won't. These things will take their natural course one way or the other, the best advice that is also prkbably impossible to take is "don't get an ulcer over this stuff, in the long run its probably not that important."

I'm 26 years old. Thank you and I will keep your answer in mind. I will see how it goes. We have been friends for over 2-3 years now. I am glad I am able to get your perspective and others that have contributed to the discussion.

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smiley wrote:
Yes.

In general just assume that your guy friends will develop feelings for you at some point in time. If you feel the same, tell him. If you don't, be clear that you don't without hurting his feelings.

Thanks Smiley :)

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Yorick wrote:
well, hmm. sometimes us guys dont know how to express our feelings so we are super helpful instead.. its not invasive or intrusive. on the other hand playing it safe keeps us from feeling rejected. perhaps he's waiting for you to say something.

start with asking " do you like me? " as if the real question is.. do you even like him?

Thank you Yorick! I haven't seen him for some time as we live in different towns. I love certain traits about him. I do like him but I don't know if I can see myself being with him. If we saw each other much often then maybe my feelings would change. I really do enjoy your posts that you put now and then.

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Slash wrote:

How do you know if your male friend is catching feelings?

He will often think of you at given nights.

https://youtu.be/wv-34w8kGPM

Thank you :)

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soco wrote:
Do you see each other, like face to face? If the answer is no it's hard to say if you are trying to send signals between the lines in text. Men don't usually send signals of their own. They say very plainly what they mean, unless they're into writing lyrics or poems.
If you are starting to have feelings for him over and above a platonic friendship I would just come out and plainly tell him that. He may not feel the same way but at least you will know now before you start having stronger feelings and you end up with a broken heart. Honesty. First. Always.

Thank you Sono! I'm too scared to tell him about my feelings because I don't want to spoil our friendship. I haven't seen him for nearly two years.

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DocteurRalph wrote:
It was a lot easier in my youth. I used to get notes passed to me with two boxes... Do you like me? Check yes or no. It seems like technology is ruining the subtle finesse of notes like this.

Also I never even suspected that you didn't actually see this person in real life until I read the other comments. Online romances with strangers seem to have become the norm now though. If you actually are living in a close proximity to this guy and you two see each other often it should be pretty obvious.

It's a lot easier to tell if someone is romantically interested in you when you are standing right in front of them. The body sends messages, whether you want it to or not. Teen boys especially have bodies that react to women that are attractive. So the next time you see him stand too close, invade his space and put your hand on his arm and swing your hair around so that it brushes against him. Then look in his eyes and the answer should be clear.

Thank you DocteurRalph! I have met him many times but I haven't seen him for two years because he lives far away and I moved from the area that I use to him a lot. We have kept in touch via text. We plan to meet but we never do in the end because we're so busy. When I see him hopefully this year then I will take on your advice.

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What is the distance between the both of you? Can you drive halfway in less than 5-6 hours? If so make concrete plans to meet up at some center point. If he has feelings for you he will show up. I already know you will be there!

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soco wrote:
What is the distance between the both of you? Can you drive halfway in less than 5-6 hours? If so make concrete plans to meet up at some center point. If he has feelings for you he will show up. I already know you will be there!

It will be a three hour drive. We're trying to make plans to meet.

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I've got a 4 day weekend because the 4th of July is Thursday and nobody is working Friday. Sounds like a really good time to meet and hang out.

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Thank you for this :)

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I don't know how good my advice is, because my history with men is kinda pathetic. They're either completely obvious about it, and I'm repulsed by it, or I mistook kindness for them having feelings for me, and I bolted because it was awkward.

Recently, I've gotten in touch with an old friend from high school and the flirting is mutual...but mainly because I confessed when I had a few drinks one night, that I had a super secret crush on him when we were in school. Lol. Normally, telling a guy I had a crush on them, grossed them out, so I'm still shocked he's even talking to me! It's been 15 years now, and he's currently working overseas (he's some sort of scientist...he was the"smart jock" in school) but he's coming to stay with me next month while he's visiting home for a holiday. Mainly because I thought it would be cheaper than for him to stay in a hotel...

We've been talking mostly over Messenger for about a year or so now, and we've both made it pretty clear there's something there. But, it took a very scared move on my part to say anything in the first place. We haven't heard each other's voices since about 2002, let alone seen each other. Ironically, the last time we saw each other, we were both drunk...at the time though, he had feelings for my best friend. It seems to be a theme with us, even though neither of us are big drinkers. Lol.

For me though, he's probably the only guy who's ever "caught feelings" for me that wasn't a creep or over 50.

All the other times, they never made it subtle or went about it in a respectful manner. Most of the time, it was uninvited groping or something else puke-inducing. I have a lot of trust issues, and they really didn't help matters much. So me and "old high school friend" is still a pretty weird concept to me even after a year.

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Aria wrote:
I don't know how good my advice is, because my history with men is kinda pathetic. They're either completely obvious about it, and I'm repulsed by it, or I mistook kindness for them having feelings for me, and I bolted because it was awkward.

Recently, I've gotten in touch with an old friend from high school and the flirting is mutual...but mainly because I confessed when I had a few drinks one night, that I had a super secret crush on him when we were in school. Lol. Normally, telling a guy I had a crush on them, grossed them out, so I'm still shocked he's even talking to me! It's been 15 years now, and he's currently working overseas (he's some sort of scientist...he was the"smart jock" in school) but he's coming to stay with me next month while he's visiting home for a holiday. Mainly because I thought it would be cheaper than for him to stay in a hotel...

We've been talking mostly over Messenger for about a year or so now, and we've both made it pretty clear there's something there. But, it took a very scared move on my part to say anything in the first place. We haven't heard each other's voices since about 2002, let alone seen each other. Ironically, the last time we saw each other, we were both drunk...at the time though, he had feelings for my best friend. It seems to be a theme with us, even though neither of us are big drinkers. Lol.

For me though, he's probably the only guy who's ever "caught feelings" for me that wasn't a creep or over 50.

All the other times, they never made it subtle or went about it in a respectful manner. Most of the time, it was uninvited groping or something else puke-inducing. I have a lot of trust issues, and they really didn't help matters much. So me and "old high school friend" is still a pretty weird concept to me even after a year.

This is very good advice and I can relate to some of things that you mentioned. I will just let our friendship grow and I will see where life takes us.

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