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Lano
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1731554328" title="Nov 14, 2024 3:18">Nov 14, 2024 3:18</time>
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My significant other refuses to see a doctor.

She isn't sick or anything, that we know of. But she refuses to get a checkup and has never seen a gyno. Her reason is that going to a doctor makes her anxious. I think the last time she has gone was like ten years ago or so. She is 30 and we've been dating coming up on three years.


I made another post a little bit ago about her being afraid to drive.


This is all very concerning to me. Like i feel like she needs to be willing to see a doctor. The fact that something as little as going to get a check up frightens her makes me wonder if there are other very basic things she is afraid to do.

We have talked about her seeint a counselor or something and she agrees she should. She says she needs to look into it but never does.

I think she honestly wants to but again...she's just too afraid too.

I know it seems like none of this should affect me but it makes me scared that there could be something wrong that we'll never know because she refuses to get it checked out.

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Lano edited this post .

My significant other refuses to see a doctor. She isn't sick or anything, that we know of. But she refuses to get a checkup and has never seen a gyno. Her reason is that going to a doctor makes her anxious. I think the last time she has gone was like ten years ago or so. She is 30 and we've been dating coming up on three years.¬ ¬ ¬ I made another post a little bit ago about her being afraid to drive.¬ ¬ ¬ This is all very concerning to me. Like i feel like she needs to be willing to see a doctor. The fact that something as little as going to get a check up frightens her makes me wonder if there are other very basic things she is afraid to do.¬ ¬ We have talked about her seeint a counselor or something and she agrees she should. She says she needs to look into it but never does.¬ ¬ I think she honestly wants to but again...she's just too afraid too.¬ ¬ I know it seems like none of this should affect me but it makes me scared that there could be something wrong that we'll never know because she refuses to get it checked out.

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soco
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Can you part with a little bit of funds? Try the app, Doctor on Demand. It was created by Dr. Phillip McGraw and his son. It will put her face to face with a vetted and hand picked doctor that is Board Certified, without leaving home. I suggest doing it on your laptop or desktop computer at first. She can later move the account to her phone.

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We have another hurricane coming this way.

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soco
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Thanks Help bot but you're not needed right now. LOL

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We have another hurricane coming this way.

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BA1
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You mentioned that she isn't sick. I would further assume that she isn't "hiding" a problem.
Generally, women are more apt to see a doctor for check-up's than men, but I don't find it surprising that she doesn't want to go.
I think it's a control issue and has very little to do with fears or phobias.
Let's look at it this way -
1. If I feel there is something wrong with me, I'll go to the doctor when it comes up. I know my own body and will call the shot when necessary.
2. I don't want to drive - I can manage it in the direst of moments but prefer when it comes to the general things.
3. I'm willing to go see a psych but prefer not to. Even though the exact reason for why I will (or will not do) certain things is unclear to me, the gut feeling I get has seldom let me down when it comes to particular matters.

Control issues.

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Lano
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1731554328" title="Nov 14, 2024 3:18">Nov 14, 2024 3:18</time>
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Slash wrote:
You mentioned that she isn't sick. I would further assume that she isn't "hiding" a problem.
Generally, women are more apt to see a doctor for check-up's than men, but I don't find it surprising that she doesn't want to go.
I think it's a control issue and has very little to do with fears or phobias.
Let's look at it this way -
1. If I feel there is something wrong with me, I'll go to the doctor when it comes up. I know my own body and will call the shot when necessary.
2. I don't want to drive - I can manage it in the direst of moments but prefer when it comes to the general things.
3. I'm willing to go see a psych but prefer not to. Even though the exact reason for why I will (or will not do) certain things is unclear to me, the gut feeling I get has seldom let me down when it comes to particular matters.

Control issues.

We've had discussions about it and she does not disagree with me. I prefer to believe her when she says that it is an anxiety issue and not a preference issue.

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Lano
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1731554328" title="Nov 14, 2024 3:18">Nov 14, 2024 3:18</time>
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soco wrote:
Can you part with a little bit of funds? Try the app, Doctor on Demand. It was created by Dr. Phillip McGraw and his son. It will put her face to face with a vetted and hand picked doctor that is Board Certified, without leaving home. I suggest doing it on your laptop or desktop computer at first. She can later move the account to her phone.

If i understand correct, you mean like pouncing a therapy session her? She would not respond well to it for one thing.

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soco
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Lano wrote:

soco wrote:
Can you part with a little bit of funds? Try the app, Doctor on Demand. It was created by Dr. Phillip McGraw and his son. It will put her face to face with a vetted and hand picked doctor that is Board Certified, without leaving home. I suggest doing it on your laptop or desktop computer at first. She can later move the account to her phone.

If i understand correct, you mean like pouncing a therapy session her? She would not respond well to it for one thing.

No. These are genuine doctors of every specialty. Even Gynacologists. I'm not sure of the cost though. I don't think you can get prescriptions through them. It is more just advice I think. But since the advice is coming from somebody that is a real doctor it might sink in more.

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We have another hurricane coming this way.

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Lano
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1731554328" title="Nov 14, 2024 3:18">Nov 14, 2024 3:18</time>
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soco wrote:

Lano wrote:

soco wrote:
Can you part with a little bit of funds? Try the app, Doctor on Demand. It was created by Dr. Phillip McGraw and his son. It will put her face to face with a vetted and hand picked doctor that is Board Certified, without leaving home. I suggest doing it on your laptop or desktop computer at first. She can later move the account to her phone.

If i understand correct, you mean like pouncing a therapy session her? She would not respond well to it for one thing.

No. These are genuine doctors of every specialty. Even Gynacologists. I'm not sure of the cost though. I don't think you can get prescriptions through them. It is more just advice I think. But since the advice is coming from somebody that is a real doctor it might sink in more.

Ahhhh. I guess i could ask her if she wants to try that.

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I am guilty myself of never seeing doctors like your women.
Have her go to alternative doctors.
Unlike western medicine which concentrates on drugs alternative doctors build health and prevent disease..
Unless you are mangled in a car wreck doctors pretty much are pill pushers.
Or if that dont work compromise.
Have her get a medical check and if anything is wrong have an alternative doctor treat her.

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Lano
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Its not that she's opposed to mainstream medicine or check ups...according to her its more like she's afraid of the doctor finding something wrong or being mean to her. She has had a bad experience with a doctor in the past that was apparently very unprofessional with her and she doesn't like having her body looked at by a stranger.

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Inbound1896536404
Gone
last online: 05/14, 23:04
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Then there really isnt much you could do.
I remember my last girlfriend had a bubble in her front tire.
I spent a week trying to get her to fix it. Or even let me fix it.
No go.. even though I lnew how dangerous it is to ride with a bubble in her tire.
They are grown women.

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Araz
last online: 12/14, 0:56
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@Lano THIS IS ME! I hate going to the doctor and I haven’t been to my therapist in more than a year. I’m also afraid of hearing things I don’t want to if I go. I have insurance now, so there’s no excuse... but it gives me major anxiety thinking about it.

I wish I could help you. I know I have a problem (anxiety) but I don’t know how to make myself get over it. I just made myself go to the dentist so that’s a first step I guess. (No cavities, yay.)

Maybe baby steps? Could you make a doctor’s appointment for yourself and her at the same time? Or you could just go with her? I’d be more open personally if I had some support at my appointment.

Yorick
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i never was a fan of doc appointments/ checkups aren't my thing.. i know its beneficial if you do this as a preventive measure. just like with my car.. i only take it to the shop when something breaks ;)

i know.. terrible

your body is not a car.. you need it to live actually.

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Lano
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1731554328" title="Nov 14, 2024 3:18">Nov 14, 2024 3:18</time>
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Araz wrote:
@Lano THIS IS ME! I hate going to the doctor and I haven’t been to my therapist in more than a year. I’m also afraid of hearing things I don’t want to if I go. I have insurance now, so there’s no excuse... but it gives me major anxiety thinking about it.

I wish I could help you. I know I have a problem (anxiety) but I don’t know how to make myself get over it. I just made myself go to the dentist so that’s a first step I guess. (No cavities, yay.)

Maybe baby steps? Could you make a doctor’s appointment for yourself and her at the same time? Or you could just go with her? I’d be more open personally if I had some support at my appointment.

I suggested that very thing. I told her i would go to the appointment with her and stick up for her if the doctor was being a jerk to her somehow. I told her the doctor i went to last time struck me as good hoping that would make her more comfortable.

When we talk like half the time she just nods with her eyes like a deer in headlights and she isnt really responding to what i'm saying except to say she knows i'm right.

I don't want to nag her about it since it seems to stress her out when i do but it is something that causes me stress. Maybe i'm too uptight about these things.

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Araz
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@Lano yeah definitely don’t nag but maybe have her come along to the doctor for YOUR appointment (not hers) and she can get a feel for the doctor and office without the anxiety bc it wouldn’t be an analysis of her health. Maybe she would feel more comfortable if she met him as your doctor first. Make sense?

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soco
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If your love and respect for her is genuine all she needs to hear is how important her health is to YOU. That you are not forcing her to go but making it a very high priority desire of yours.

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PepperJ
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Maybe she can go in for an exam that doesn't involve anything invasive and just "get to know" a doc or two. Schedule appointments to speak with them and find out how they work. Some docs like to "play God" while others are very down to earth and let the patient lead the treatment plan, if there is one.

It would be better to find a doc who she can connect with while there is nothing wrong with her so that she doesn't have to go through finding one, and potentially settling for one who she hates because of time constraints, if she ever does need one.

Also, if you have "buy sell sites" on fb for your city, it's a great way to post and ask people which docs they like in the area. People will be upfront and usually talk about why they love or hate their docs...that would give her a few names to start with

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