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Happy earth
smiley
last online: 11/26, 18:47
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I need to get out more.

I'm kind of lonely.

But I don't know how to do chitchat, and my hobbies and interests are pretty solitary. (Reading, staring at the sky) I've always been shy and introverted. I tend to revolve my entire life around my kids.

I joined two organizations. One scared me off by a prominent member voicing disgust at my profession. The other, I made a promise and didn't keep it, and now I'm embarrassed to return. (Both of those excuses seem ridiculous to me, but they are what they are.)

I know how to meet people. How do adults go from acquaintance to friend? How do you transition from small talk to talk?

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Since writing this post smiley may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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friend, talk, small, acquaintance, transition
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Helpbot
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Happy earth
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smiley
last online: 11/26, 18:47
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Really, HelpBot?

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music=life
last online: 03/02, 13:45
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I like to give people complaints. Just the little things like ‘I like your shoes’ or saying happy Friday to people. I’m not great at making new friends as an adult but I’m good at small talk. Saying something nice is an easy way to strike up a conversation

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Araz
last online: 12/14, 0:56
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Time spent together is what makes people go from acquaintance to friend. It’s a lot like dating - if you don’t nurture the relationship and put time into it, you can’t have that close connection you’re seeking.

There’s definitely some conflict in any deep, meaningful friendship and it doesn’t come easy. Start off casual and ease yourself into it.

Find an activity and talk to one or two people per event. Really focus on the person you’re talking to and try to get to know them. If you like them, suggest hanging out again! If they take you up on it, try to invite them to other things and events. That’s how friendships form :)

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Lano
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1731554328" title="Nov 14, 2024 3:18">Nov 14, 2024 3:18</time>
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Im kind of in a similar situation.

I recommend drugs and violence. Constant drinking and coke and fighting. You'll makes tons of friends.


In prison...

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Lano
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1731554328" title="Nov 14, 2024 3:18">Nov 14, 2024 3:18</time>
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music=life wrote:
I like to give people complaints.

Yes, good brainstorming.

Airplane food is terrible. Whats up with that???

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Nevermind
last online: 02/20, 6:06
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smiley wrote:
Really, HelpBot?

Helpbot just likes some of us more than others 😂

As for how to make friends I guess I'm not so sure. Online it's easy. I feel I've always either been an instant friend or nothing.

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music=life
last online: 03/02, 13:45
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Lano wrote:

music=life wrote:
I like to give people complaints.

Yes, good brainstorming.

Airplane food is terrible. Whats up with that???

Lol 😂 I’m so dumb

Happy earth
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smiley
last online: 11/26, 18:47
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music=life wrote:

Lano wrote:

music=life wrote:
I like to give people complaints.

Yes, good brainstorming.

Airplane food is terrible. Whats up with that???

Lol 😂 I’m so dumb

I don't know. Sometimes the typo is good. I mean, who can't relate to "Ugh! When is this crappy weather going to change?" You know, building cameraderie through shared suffering.

Happy earth
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music=life wrote:
I like to give people complaints. Just the little things like ‘I like your shoes’ or saying happy Friday to people.

If I compliment someone's shoes, what if they think I am able to talk shoes? If they start about pumps and slides and whatever, I'll just stand there looking stupid.

Roccoflip
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last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1730969927" title="Nov 7, 2024 8:58">Nov 7, 2024 8:58</time>
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smiley wrote:

music=life wrote:
I like to give people complaints. Just the little things like ‘I like your shoes’ or saying happy Friday to people.

If I compliment someone's shoes, what if they think I am able to talk shoes? If they start about pumps and slides and whatever, I'll just stand there looking stupid.

This happens to me all the time. 😂
People assume I know all about sports and cars (you know- being a guy and all) when in reality I’m like “Baseball? is that the one where you take the ball to your own base, or try to get it into theirs?”

When they do that- basically just prompt them for more info. Let them keep talking. People love teaching others about things they know about.

Roccoflip
Rockster160
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1730969927" title="Nov 7, 2024 8:58">Nov 7, 2024 8:58</time>
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Literally as I posted that 2 of my cousins came and sat next to me and started talking cars. I just sit and sip my drink and laugh/chuckle when they get excited 🤷‍♂️

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Lano
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1731554328" title="Nov 14, 2024 3:18">Nov 14, 2024 3:18</time>
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smiley wrote:

music=life wrote:
I like to give people complaints. Just the little things like ‘I like your shoes’ or saying happy Friday to people.

If I compliment someone's shoes, what if they think I am able to talk shoes? If they start about pumps and slides and whatever, I'll just stand there looking stupid.

People tend not to change the subject so suddenly, in my opinion. Pumps are used to push air or water or fuel from one area into another area via mechanical means. While slides are a mode of transportation that relies completely on gravity.

So not much to do with shoes !!!

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Happy earth
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Lano wrote:

smiley wrote:

music=life wrote:
I like to give people complaints. Just the little things like ‘I like your shoes’ or saying happy Friday to people.

If I compliment someone's shoes, what if they think I am able to talk shoes? If they start about pumps and slides and whatever, I'll just stand there looking stupid.

People tend not to change the subject so suddenly, in my opinion. Pumps are used to push air or water or fuel from one area into another area via mechanical means. While slides are a mode of transportation that relies completely on gravity.

So not much to do with shoes !!!

Haha! That's exactly the kind of response I would be likely to give if someone commented about the shoes called pumps! But I do love a pun, so it'd be totally intentional, and then people look at me funny for a minute, and walk away.

Happy earth
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@Araz thank you, you give good advice that I didn't want to hear but needed. Making friends is hard and there's no shortcut. I just gotta quit being a coward or accept things as they are.

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Araz
last online: 12/14, 0:56
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smiley wrote:
@Araz thank you, you give good advice that I didn't want to hear but needed. Making friends is hard and there's no shortcut. I just gotta quit being a coward or accept things as they are.

Sorry, I’m often the person who winds up having to say the unpopular or hard thing :( I do hope I helped and I want you know that making friends is hard and you’re not a coward for it.

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Lano
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1731554328" title="Nov 14, 2024 3:18">Nov 14, 2024 3:18</time>
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also for some serious advice:

What I did was I got a new hobby, namely board games. I use meetup.com and I found a few board game groups in my area and I just showed up. People are generally friendly to newcomers at such things. Anyway, I did that for like two years and finally made friends with one person there. Isn't that crazy? I wasn't even trying to, I just wanted to play more board games.

What I'm saying is, sometimes if you broaden the horizons of what you enjoy, it will also broaden your social circile, though it may take a real long time if you're antisocial like me.

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Nix
last online: 11/28, 9:31
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smiley wrote:

music=life wrote:

Lano wrote:


[quote from music=life]

Yes, good brainstorming.

Airplane food is terrible. Whats up with that???

Lol 😂 I’m so dumb

I don't know. Sometimes the typo is good. I mean, who can't relate to "Ugh! When is this crappy weather going to change?" You know, building cameraderie through shared suffering.

If your in the UK then complaints about the weather are considered a must and is excellent small talk

314sftf
Nix
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and queuing... we must complain about queuing

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