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A Housemate..

As i am living with a housemate for the first time, I wonder what things do you find annoying living with other people?

Any special rules to help you coexist? :)

What you wouldn't put up with at all?

-- so just I can compare how intolerant i am O;)

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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put, living, coexist, compare, intolerant
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Rockster160
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Me personally, find most things are tolerable. Don’t leave dirty dishes for days. Don’t be overly loud to the point other people have difficulty communicating. Don’t leave dirty/private clothing in a non-private bathroom. Stuff like that. Be courteous and mindful and you’re good.

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Yorick
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get to the bottom of it!

make a list of house rules.. my past experience went into it without any and it unfolded into every unwanted mishap led us a lesson learned to finally agree on a rule.. ..better off flat out confide on wants and unwants and have it written and agreed with a solid handshake, saves the hassle.

along with consequences, if rule is broken, a debt by the faulted must be repaid. ( which must be included in the agreememnt ) be fair about it.. anything unfair is just lame.

alot of it in my time had to do with

-food/bev theft.
-toilet paper ( basically any sort of theft.)
-uneven social time..
-unwanted guests.
-chore duty.
-damages
-borrowed money

list goes on.. my worst roommate became the best after we sorted all the BS the first year

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Lano
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I never lived without anyone except for my family....

But I wouldn't put up with unfairness...that stuff gets old on me quick. Also, if you have an issue with something I'm doing, tell it to me calmly. Don't get pissed or try to make me feel like an inconsiderate idiot. Use your words.

We were all raised differently with different expectations on what to do around the house, so take that into account, be polite, try to accommodate, but make sure it's fair.

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Anonymous
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Thank you, guys, that helps!

I went into it (like into everything) withuot being able to think things through. Now, I so wish we agreed on certain rules - like the toilet paper (it's just me buying it, as well as kitchen tissues, washing up liquid etc. All the kitchen utensils are mine.. He never cleans the bathroom, only kitchen surfaces after he used it..I even had to give him bedding! - but technically, i am subletting, so he is a lodger. But still, i think i shouldn't need to provide all that, hm?)

Anyway, i find two things the most irritating..

1. the smell! :( I have a really blunt smell due to some damage by chemicals, but he eats such strong smelling meals that i have to air the whole house for half an hour after his meal time. And the same goes when he uses his personal hygiene products in the bathroom. The whole day, when bathroom window is open, he keeps the bathroom door shut, but before his bedtime, he leaves the door fully open and the smell goes into the whole house, and again I have to air the house. And now it is so cold outside, can't put the heating on because of it; it would be just waste..

2. He does not wash his hands after using the toilet, aaaaargh! i'm not a guy, and i know some guys don't wash hands, but it drives me nuts..

So, now, how do i politely ask him to deal with these two things. Btw, he never ever complaints about anything. Occassionally, he becomes irritated, and I try to guess what it might be, but we never talk about these things. There is 25 year difference between us as well.

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Lano
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So, being a guy is not an excuse to not wash your hands...that's kind of gross.

I get it. I don't wash my hands EVERY single time. If I didn't wipe my butt or get any pee on my hand, and I just don't feel like getting my hands wet, then I might not wash them. But most of the time, yes, I wash them.

The thing is...there's no delicate way to tell a person...please wash your hands. You kind of have to say...look...I expect my roommate to wash their hands. Even if you just pretend to wash them for my peace of mind. But you really should. What if you just wiped your butt and all of a sudden you get an itchy eye?

Is he cooking the food? and just for himself? Maybe you wouldn't mind the smell so much if you were eating it too? Does he offer? That's kind of odd to me, do you always just do your own thing for dinner? What kind of food is it?

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Nix
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Everything annoys me!

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Anonymous
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Nix wrote:
Everything annoys me!

lol, Nix, made me laugh, but sorry to learn that - hug!

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Anonymous
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@Lano

Thank you. I can't imagine telling him to wash his hands :(((

And we each eat our own food, we don't share.

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DocteurRalph
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The toilet paper and soap and shampoo and dishwashing liquid always seems to be a problem. It disappears so fast and no one ever seems to buy it. Yeah I lived for 10 years with different groups of guys usually just me and another dude in an apartment but two or three times in a house with a bunch of people and that's when it really goes crazy... when you buy toiletries keep the receipt and make everyone chip in.

But hey this is good practice for if and when you get married. Guys generally are not anywhere near as clean as women or as fussy about smells or untidiness. Trust me I raised two girls and three boys too. Little boys wallow in dirt and never take baths unless forced to. My little girls actually liked to take baths and be clean. I have heard they are not all like that though.

It actually sounds like it is going amazingly well. I thought you were going to say your roommate has an electric guitar that makes the whole house vibrate. Or maybe he brings home strange women from bars and you can hear them going at it all night long and then the girls steal crap before they leave. Or that your roommate was dealing dope and acting crazy and all sorts of strange looking people were coming over to get high at all hours of the night and day... yeah that's what my roommates used to complain about. You've got it made.

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Yeah @DocteurRalph, you've made me feel so much better - THANKS..!

*she shuts up and goes to do some housework as she is meant to be cleaner than her male housemate

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Araz
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Anonymous wrote:
Yeah @DocteurRalph, you've made me feel so much better - THANKS..!

*she shuts up and goes to do some housework as she is meant to be cleaner than her male housemate

Nope, not at all what Ralph meant. I think it’s easier to give advice based on your own experiences, and that’s what happened here. My husband is so messy but that doesn’t mean I’m expected to deal with it. He doesn’t expect me to do all of the housework, he’s just entirely too comfortable living with dirty dishes and laundry around 😪

I think what Ralph said about keeping receipts and making sure everything is fair is really good advice. Definitely not on you to do more work, though.

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ok, @Araz, thanks.

..my problems might not be as big as @DocteurRalph mentioned, but that does not mean that it should be dismissed.. if i consider it a problem and find hard to cope :(

..yes, i am grateful he doesn't have an electric guitar, or bring girls etc. - so grateful! it is me having loud music on and s*x on the phone with my bf, so he is the one who could complain, isn't he..

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Araz
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We all have our quirks, what’s irritating for you might not be for him. You should definitely talk to him. Communication is so key with roommates. (I lived with my brother in law and his girlfriend and my husband for 2 years).

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PepperJ
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I've had room mates off and on through my whole life. In college, of course. But also throughout my adult life from time to time, including now.

In college, the biggest drawback was that my room mate was a sleaze and had guys over every night. I either couldn't go back to the room most nights and hung out in the student lounge...or I would wake up to find some new guy in the bed across the room

When I was in my early 20's, I bought my first house. 3 bedrooms; 2 bathrooms. Mortgage was $602 a month. I rented each of the bedrooms out for $300/mo. It worked well. We were all single working adults. I had a guy and a girl for a year and then the girl moved out and I got another female room mate. I would never have lived alone with 2 guys.

Then, we (my husb and I with our 4 kids) are trying to build up as much cash as possible to buy another house. So we took on room mates. We've had 2 sets of 2 now for a little over a year. The first couple of people were fine. This second set of people suck. We are closing on the new house in Feb., though, and they are not moving with us. Although we will most likely (once again) get two new room mates. Rent is so high in this area right now that it's pretty attractive making the passive income that is really not taxed from room mates. It pays over half the mortgage.

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PepperJ
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Having said that ^^^^ the things that piss me off about room mates are slutty ones; ones who drink to excess (or do drugs); and ones who are slobs.

In that order

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PepperJ wrote:
Having said that ^^^^ the things that piss me off about room mates are slutty ones; ones who drink to excess (or do drugs); and ones who are slobs.

In that order

You made me laugh, @PepperJ. I wouldn't stand drugs or alcohol, crime or abuse. I don't even talk to my own brother for those reasons..

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DocteurRalph
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Ahh Pepper Jelly I had all the bases covered when I was living with other people. Slutty, did drink and drugs to excess and my roommates loved it. They always seemed to be following me around taking my leftover women and intoxicants. Hell a couple of times I even picked up more than one woman at a bar and passed them out to whoever was home. I just wish it was 1980 again...

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PepperJ
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You party animal!

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