HelpQA Tags Search FAQ
Start a New Post Chat Login & Registration

663 replies, Replies 231 to 240

Post closed, thank you for your help

BIG-AL-ONE wrote:
IDK, I think there are reputable care facilities -
- now, unless the son happens to be a part of the household income resulting from some aid or benefit....I would render him to the State.
It's much better to visit him daily than to be left in a condition of volatility.
Your friend needs to forgive herself and realize that she can be there for her son just in a different way.

Life would be so much better if it boiled down to her and her daughter and work her job without having to worry what's going on at the house.

Agree. I think they do get money for having him at home. IDK if it's money that makes life easier for THEM, or if it's money that makes life easier for HIM/THE SON. As in....is the money enough for his care and needs with none left over? I'm not sure about that...will ask her if I can

I do know that she pays rent on her own, without the aid of HUD, and I would think that having him at home would mean that she could apply for HUD...?

- written
Post closed, thank you for your help

I was thinking that....we have a basement that is available...lol

I've thought about inviting them to stay here.

Just the only issue is that her developmentally disabled son lives with her, and IDK how to deal with basement stairs (they live in a ranch because of his issues) and how to deal with him/how my husband and kids would cope with that. They have said, when I mentioned having her and her daughter move in here, that they wouldn't want him here. I wouldn't necessarily, either, but....I could deal with it and adjust to it pretty easily, I think.


She has said numerous times that she is going to keep him at home and care for him until she can no longer get out of bed herself because of how badly facilities tend to treat the patients....so idk if she would put him in a car facility.

I'm not sure what he "actually has." In the old days, he would have been labeled "severely retarded," I suppose. Even though that's incorrect. He can't feed himself well because his arms are bent to his chest. He can...but it has to be food that he can use a fork with...He soils himself. He can't walk or talk....etc

- written
Post closed, thank you for your help

I guess another part of the puzzle...baby girl is reverting in potty training issues....

BUT, mom has a son who is 23 years old and who is severely developmentally disabled. He has to have diapers, etc. When baby sister started to revert, he would apparently laugh hysterically about it....which might have caused her to "enjoy" doing it.

Along with the stress levels in the home....

- written
Post closed, thank you for your help

BIG-AL-ONE wrote:
It sounds like the both of you are fairly close if you sit her girl.
Uh...is the girl too young to ask for "sensitive" info?

This little girl has been having issues too.

She was fully potty trained and has started to pee and poop in her pants.

She says that her parents fight a lot and that it's loud and scary.

She has volunteered that on her own, but her mom and I talk about that stuff too. Her mom knows that the peeing and pooping are a result of baby girl's stress levels. Mom also admits that they have had fights that cause neighbors to come out of their houses....

So...yeah, I think it's escalating

- written
Post closed, thank you for your help

I know. And I am concerned about her well being and will talk with her about it.

Up to this point, I felt like he was just a jerk, but relatively harmless....but I also knew that he probably felt less "manly" for not working and that probably affected all the dynamics...

Anyway, she didn't go into work on Thursday because she got a black eye. She texted me about it, because I often watch her daughter.

I was shocked about her black eye and asked her about it. She said it happened at work. I let it go at that for the time being, but later, as I was thinking about it....I wondered: If she got it at work, why did she miss work??? So...I need to see her in person, but it needs to be in a safe place and at a time when husb won't get suspicious.

Caveat: I remember a few months ago when I had a black eye and she asked me about it. My black eye was because I'd been sick to my stomach and broke blood vessels from being so sick.....IDK if she believed me or not, but :shrug:

Another caveat: She works with developmentally disabled adults. It's entirely possible one of them gave her a black eye. And that's why I "let it go" for a while....until I started to question why she would miss a couple days of work for something that "HAPPENED" at work....

- written
Help-QA feature poll: Changing Anonicons

ther than the troll issue, which was addressed, I don't really care and prob won't vote.

I have only posted/replied anon a handful of times on the OH way back when. Once was to tell a suicide poster to get over it, basically. I know it was very mean and horrible of me, but DAFT PUCK discovered "me" and gave me a warning :)Additionally, I don't spend any time trying to decipher the anons. I don't have time for that and don't care too much about who it is that decides that they need to post anon for whatever reason. I will say that sometimes I give anon posts less consideration, though. Not in a mean way (except the one time mentioned already), but in a way that I breeze past them and move on to posts that aren't anon; or I reply briefly without giving a whole lot of thought to my replies....

- written
Anyone remember the longest post ever?

Rockster160 wrote:
@PepperJ - I think you meant to be posting that on this post?
https://help-qa.com/posts/515-help-qa-feature-p...

@HastaIguanaPianoman - I can't speak for her. I think she's living alone right now, but we honestly don't speak as much as we once did. I think she's doing alright for the most part, but I would have thought she would come back to see everybody by now. ๐Ÿ˜…

Haha...yes :)

- written
oh lord, this site layout brings back some memories!

Aria wrote:
Awww, man. :( I got all excited thinking LittleNick had posted. :(

Me too!!

tricky wrote:
yeah that chihuahua is for LittleNick... welcome back "YouCanSeeMeRight?" ^_^

^^^^Yep^^^^

- written
Post closed, thank you for your help

PepperJ wrote:

BIG-AL-ONE wrote:
I would give your friend a direct call and let her know what he has been doing.
I would also ask if she has suffered any physical abuse from him.

I did talk to her on the phone this morn. I asked if she was at home and she said she was, so I didn't say anything. Husb was probably at home, too.

I will wait until we can talk in person. And yes, I will ask about abuse, but again...would like to do it in person. A person's body language and eye contact tell a lot more than just their words.

- written

Post closed, thank you for your help

....

- written

To use this site you must be 13 years or older and occasionally submit your email address. Your email address is only shared with your explicit permission.

Home Page - Privacy Policy - Terms of Service - Feedback