I am proud of him, but he didn't do it quite as succinctly as Dragon Lady said it should be done (and I agree with Dragon Lady, lol) So he sort of left the door open, which is what I was hoping he would be strong enough to not do...

And also, "breaking up" with someone while they live in the same house as you do is tough, so I don't know how this will go.....

I do mystery shopping. I just did a shop that requires a reimbursed purchase of at least $10. So I bought her some new socks. She was appreciative...

@smiley

Right now, we're pretty dang broke. I have some debt from the trip we took and need to get that paid off. When I wrote down bills due in the checkbook register for July, I noticed that we have no extra money. For July, I'm going to have to budget $120/week for groceries for 7 people. It can be done. Tightening the belt to get some stuff paid off is a good thing.

My oldest broke his foot. He's been going to doc appointments a lot/physical therapy/etc. It's spendy and it's not helping. Today, we see a specialist in foot surgery. So lots more money to be spent in the near future, it seems....especially with specialist appointments and possible surgery.

We do have extra money in the account we use for our rentals, but we have to save it. We owe an attorney $1200; and two of our roofs need replaced. So the $2000.00 that is in there needs to stay and grow to pay for those things.

Having said that, though, one of our houses needs a little landscaping (easy stuff...making a path by cutting out grass and tamping the dirt down and putting borders in and laying down the little pebbles. Another needs to have the fence painted.) So in a few months, hopefully we will have a little more money, and I'm hiring her and my 3 older kids to do those things.

Also, while on our vaca., and when I was doing all the laundry, I noticed that my daughter's underwear and socks are awful. And my daughter has just a few good shirts/pants. So I handed my daughter $100 to get socks, underwear and 1-2 shirts/pants. I am going to hand this girl $20, I think, for the "basics."

She has a job interview tomorrow...

She has a job interview on Wednesday. She turned 18 a couple weeks ago, so can't be in foster care.

I notice that she is not eating stuff at my house. I think she feels self conscious about "free loading."

And she has no car; we live in a bit of an isolated neighborhood; no laundromats are nearby...and our laundry room is very close to the master bedroom.

One of my rules is that she not go past a certain point in the upstairs part of the house (containing 2 bedrooms; master bed; and laundry room) simply because I need space that is "mine" and she needs to stay clear of that area.

So, I told her that her laundry day would be Fri (my kids each have a day of the week) and that someone would do hers: wash, dry and give back for her to fold/put away.

She didn't get her stuff to us on Fri., (I honestly think she forgot), so today, she had no clothes. I washed her clothes. I folded them for her too, as a one time thing. and noticed how thin, few, and mended her clothes are :'(

He told her this morning.

she cried

They decided to be friends. She's working her best to make it more than friends.

But sitting back and observing the relationship, she fits into this family more like a daughter/sister. She's not ready for a relationship that is serious yet, though she thinks she is....

We'll see how the next couple days go

@Araz Lots of thoughts. Long ones, so I will need to reply later when I can thing through it more

But here is one scenario (although this in no way encompasses all of my thoughts about this. I think we have a society that is failing and as a Christian, I think it's prophetic). <--Having said that, I'll leave this one scenario for now:

1990's: Me in my 20's.
I worked FT as a server (UNSKILLED)
Sometimes I picked up odd jobs
Once out of college, I worked 3 jobs...but bought 2 houses
My 2 houses were 3bed/2bath for around $150k each
Made around $15/hour
Paid my rent for a 2 bedroom apartment in a good part of town
Rent was $230/mo
Bought a car. New. Cheapest on the lot, but new
Car payment was $140/mo
Insured said car for $100/mo
Furnished my 2 bed apartment rather nicely. Some second hand/some new
Had 2 TVs
Had a pantry and a fridge full of food
Took little vacations/excursions on my days off (extra money for "fun")
Went out to eat a couple times a week
Went "out" periodically
Had a closet with nice clothes. Some thrift store/some new
Paid for my own college. NO LOANS
Paid for my own medication, out of pocket. NO INSURANCE
Was hospitalized without insurance. Paid the bill off in 3-4 years

2020 young adult in their 20's (not me, an example of many young adults I see today)
Works TWO jobs. One is SEMI SKILLED (ie: need certificate or AA)
Picks up side hustles
May have done college or trade school. Can't afford college, mostly
Feels pretty lucky to make $15/hour
Pays rent, with no hope of owning
Rent is $600 for a BEDROOM in a BASEMENT
Or rent for a house/condo is $2,000 for a 3 bed/2 bath
Buying a 3 bed/2 bath would be $350k or more
Cheapest new car on the lot will set you back more than $300/mo
Insurance is higher (just to insure my son, our insurance went up almost $200/month, and that is with him on "our" policy, so I know that a young person's insurance would be way more than my $100/month)
Putting a bed in your home now will set you back a grand.
Forget a kitchen table and a sofa. No dresser, either, unless it's plastic
Now people have multiple screens in their homes
I'm shocked at how "food poor" so many people are
People take some excursions. Not weekly, but maybe skiing from time to time
Going out to eat happens more often for today's youth
Going "out" happens more often, but it's more frugal things: biking, etc.
Thrift stores are still doing a booming business; secondhand among youth has grown to 3x what it was with my age group, much of it online
Can't work and afford college with no loans
If hospitalized without insurance, you will never get out of that debt

So....yes, 20 somethings today go out to eat more often. They go out and ride bikes, travel to towns, maybe ski or do some mild "vaca" excursions more often. They carpool far more often, because many don't have a car. It just seems like inflation is far too high for wages that have remained stagnant for the youth of today to be able to have a positive outlook.

Now, I'm saying that with a caveat, because there are plenty of youth who have an entrepreneurial spirit and who are making tons of money. Youth who are deciding against home ownership and instead choosing to enjoy the flexibility and freedom of renting. Many are foregoing marriage and families. I don't think it's because they don't want these things. I think it's because they are making the best out of a situation.

Another caveat: It's not all about money. Degradation in society is a thing. Our country is so divided and so chaotic that life may become perilous at some point. The world is chaotic and divided and often perilous. Children are being kidnapped at an alarming rate.

I think affairs are more likely now. They are more forgiven, society wide, anyway. I think relationships are more "throw away" and more "short term." This isn't 100% but just the small percentage makes it catastrophic to society. People aren't meant to be "thrown away." People aren't "short term."

People are more connected...but less connected with their screens. One thing I do notice is that my kids are on their phones all day and we bemoan that and everyone says, "Oh, the screens...." HOWEVER, my kids are ALSO pro active in setting up meetings with other people and getting out and doing things than most people think. They ARE having the face to face time. I think that the pendulum is starting to swing a bit toward more personal relationships....or maybe more of a balance.

I have four also :)

I know. I think some are totally ready for adulthood at 18. Some aren't. My son isn't because he's a little coddled, but he will be ready and strong in his early 20's. This girl isn't because she is pretty clueless about anything other than "SURVIVAL." Hopefully she will be able to get past that and be "grown" in her early 20's.

On the other hand, we have a rental property, and a young couple with a child just moved in. They are working AND going to college (both) AND raising their son AND paying rent on time AND keeping up the yard, etc...They are 18 and 20. Pretty sure parents are NOT helping and they are doing it all themselves. And as you mentioned: soldiers...

Agree 100%

Yep.

Marriage is okay now. On a plateau. Thanks all :)

Thanks :)

That top is my husband's. He loves that thing. Once, when I was cleaning things out for a garage sale, I was taking pics of things and asking, "Should I sell/throw away/keep?"

He'd been missing this top for a while. I found it buried in a desk drawer, so I took a pic and sent it saying, "Look what I found!"

He's had it since he was young. He wanted to be an architect, and apparently this top is something that is used in design school. It's some special type of "architect spinning top tool" with a special name that I can't remember and can't find by googling :)