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907 replies, Replies 721 to 730

Some of my friends I grew up with ended up being party goers on the weekends and that sort of thing.

I never been much of a partier. I go to this weekend thing sometimes and I usually bring a six pack or a bag of chips to feel like I contributed. So not much. I'm in my early thirties.

Date nights are expensive though, going out to eat and eating how you want for a big guy like me can mean anywhere from a 36 dollar night to a 100 dollar night, depending where we go. That happens a few times a week. I decided with my girlfriend recently that we should eat at home before going out. Will hopefully save me a lot of money.

If you don't want to spend much, then don't. Just try to be fair about it. Saving is important.

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theres no justice

I have reread that first sentence several times and cannot make heads or tails of it.

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if god were real i'd murder him.

I haven't read the whole thread since there is a lot and not all of it interesting to me, but I skimmed through it.

This is the argument that has given me the most trouble with my faith:

I was taught that God was omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent, and omnibenevolent.

If all four of those things are true, and God is perfect...it makes no sense that god would allow evil/bad things to happen in the world.

The best counterargument against that, in my opinion, is some variation of "God is testing you." But that is the kind of hands-off approach to parenting that would get CPS called on you.

You can bring Satan into things, but again, by the very definition of the word, if God is omnipotent, he should be able to just snap his fingers and make Satan go away. Or make it so he has no influence on people or the world. It should be simple problem for him.

If he can't, that means he's not all powerful. If he won't, then he is not all good.


Next step: Maybe there is some reasoning beyond my comprehension for why he can't just zap all the evil away. Or maybe in some way I cannot comprehend it's good that he doesn't zap all the evil all the way. Heck, maybe he's not even really all powerful, maybe he DOES have some limitations, that prevent him from doing one thing or another to make everything perfect.

Why doesn't he TELL me that? Like, hey bro, it's cool, you know, you don't understand, just try your best and be like, the best you can be.

But he doesn't. So is he not even powerful enough to TALK to me? Like as a normal person? Like, if you had something SUPER important to tell someone, something that the safety of their IMMORTAL SOUL depended on....wouldn't you be desperate to tell them? Like, you wouldn't send Morse code or smoke signals to tell them, you would either call them, or, if you could, teleport right in front of them and tell them. Indeed, that's why we get Jehovah's Witnesses knocking on the door all the time - they are desperate to save our souls.

That's the thing that killed me as a believer. How can God, if he's a reasonable person, expect me to know what he wants? What if I do everything my religion teachers tell me to do and I still go to heck because I was born in the wrong religion? How is that fair? How is that justice? It just isn't.

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God is a group of old ancient men and/or women sitting around a camp fire scared to die.

I don't think that we invented God because we were afraid to die, at least not in the sense I think that you mean it, and that a lot of other people mean it.

As if the cavemen were concerned about dying at a specific moment and had enough time to develop a theory of, not only an afterlife where good things may or may not happen, but also of some supreme being who took care of that afterlife.

It took a long time for the Abrahamic God concept to develop and catch on. And then people writing about it and arguing about it and articulating it more and more completely. A lot of that happened in the Middle Ages. Then Protestantism came along and varied the idea even more.

Before it came along, there was thousands upon thousands of different deities, so completely different from what we typically call God that we might hesitate to grace some of them with such a lofty title.

It is hard to say whether someone is doing something because of their religion, or using their religion as an excuse...it's something where you kind of have to look at the specific person and circumstance...certainly it happens that people use their religion as a rationalization for their perverse actions.

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Maybe I asked this before.

Nix wrote:
Yep, thats me to some extent. My sister in law to a mega extent.

i do drive but only really to places i know, and i really have to force myself. even though when im driving its really not that bad, unless idk where im going, then i panic.

my SIL doesnt drive at all, she started learning on quiet roads in sweden and i think she had an incident that freaked her out and she stopped. since being in UK she has said she wants to learn to drive, even though the roads are mega busy.

i think for her she just recognised that she and my brother both need learn to drive, they currently live in the city but are thinking of moving to the burbs so they would need to drive for work.

and its the same for me, i just recognise that i have to get over it otherwise i wont be able to travel the country for work on competitions.

dont pressure her. ask if she would like to go somewhere quiet for a test drive, i used a park car park after hours which was fab. and maybe remind her that a driving instructor wont press her to do anything she is not ready for. the first lesson is usually a back street getting used to gears (if its not auto) and the instructor will have control

I have made such suggestions. Usually i rarely remember when the actually opportunity comes up and i also feel bad to ruin the mood by bringing it up if we are having a good time. And she never brings it up if i don't.

Once i let her drive back to her house from a date, going over at least two busy (albeit familiar) roads and she was perfectly fine behind the wheel. Ironically one time before that i suggested we just do circles in an empty parking lot and she froze up like a deer in headlights at the mere suggestion and just panically shook her head in a jerky motion untill i changed the subject.

I am not aware of a specific trauma that could have triggered her anxiety, i think she just has trouble trusting herself.

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Maybe I asked this before.

Jetmoo wrote:
Do you not have driving instructors over there?

When one goes for a test is there no pedals and stuff on the other side of the car just incase?

Yes, of course there are. And yes, most of them have vehicles with a break pedal on the passenger side.

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Maybe I asked this before.

soco wrote:
Forcing her to get behind the wheel and take control is not the answer. It will likely just terrify her more.
There are perfectly sane people walking on this planet that don't drive. They survive their life just fine. Don't force your girlfriend into something she just doesn't wish to do.
If it bothers you that much, I suggest getting a new girlfriend. One that is capable to living up to your expectations.

We don't really live in an area where not driving is only a minor inconvenience. Obviously i have my own motivations but not driving is going to and does make her own life harder.

We also live forty minutes away and her not driving, with us both working full time, makes it hard for us to see eachother more than two times a week.

I dont think my question was how do i force or manipulate her into kearning how to drive. I am just asking people if they have encountered this and if so how did they deal.

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Maybe I asked this before.

Jetmoo wrote:
Has she passed her theory? And hazard perception test?

In the usa, you get a learner's permit by taking a "written" multiple choice test. And then you need a certain number of hours of practice driving...and then you take your road test and you get your license....i think. I'm pretty sure all she needs to do at this point is pass her road test.

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i hate you humans.

Everyone has good and bad. Your situation is such that right now, you're only seeing the bad in people.

One thing to consider: of everyone seems to have a problem but you, it is worth considering, at least, that you may be the problem, somehow or another, and that maybe if you changed something about yourself or your perspective, you'd be able to get along a lot better with those dang nab jerkies.


On perspective: its worth considering that you cant set the bar for people super high...averageness is a thing and most of us are, well, average, not especially good or bad but somewhere in between. And i dont mean good and bad in bad in a specifically moral sense, but in every sense.

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GRITS: Cream of Wheat with a quality control problem.

I dont eat grits i wat polenta and dat shizzz bomb with mushrooms and parsley mmmm-mmmmm

I hate pineapple tho, in any shape or form.

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