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So I've started writing a new thing...

So, I liked the school setting to go over the history lesson. As such, I've rewritten this section to reflect that. It is set quite a bit farther into the future than where the story is going to take place. This will essentially be the prologue.

Stardate: 220546.33 (February 2, 2100)

Mrs. Jenson walked quickly into the room and immediately called the class to order, “Good morning everyone. Today we’re going to be doing a little review from last Prox.” She set her things down, grabbed a whiteboard marker, and started writing on the board at the front of the room.
I continued doodling in my notebook, looking out the window occasionally at the grassy field. I couldn’t wait until later when I could be out there playing soccer.
“Ty… Ty!”
Mrs. Jenson calling my name brought me back to class, however. I stood up. “Yes Ma’am?” The rest of the class snickered.
“Perhaps you could answer the question… What is the reason that we are all here on Proxima?”
“Um… the people on Earth… uh… Terrans, thought that an asteroid was going to hit Earth and kill everyone.”
“Go on.”
I tried to ignore the rest of the class as they all looked at me awaiting my answer. “The Terrans started construction on numerous ark ships to save the human race. Our ship was the Charon.”
“Good. Sit.” I did so. Mrs. Jenson continued, “Most of those ships were headed to Mars. Nancy. Why was the Charon sent here instead?”
Nancy stood up as I took my seat again. I hated when Mrs. Jenson called on me like that.
Nancy answered, “It was because of Joseph Singer. He built the Charon and sent it here.”
Mrs. Jenson signaled for Nancy to sit down and took up the narrative. “Correct. The nations of Earth, as well as many private companies, built ships headed for Mars because it was much closer, and there had already been research into the colonization process. Joseph Singer, however, looked farther afield for his ship.” She looked around the room, “Kyle! How long did the trip from Earth take?”
Kyle slowly stood up. Kyle always took his time when answering. “The journey took a total of 10 years. Five years accelerating to half the speed of light, and another five years decelerating into orbit around Proxima. Officially the date of arrival into orbit was March 21, 2034 on the Earth calendar.”
“Good Kyle. What more can you tell us?”
Kyle looked out the window for a moment before continuing, “When the Charon reached Proxima, they came across an almost perfect situation. Proxima is 1.3 time larger than Earth, with approximately the same length of day, though the year is significantly shorter, not even two earth weeks. Furthermore, the atmosphere was almost identical to that of earth, being a Nitrogen Oxygen atmosphere, though with higher CO2 content than Earth.”
I started to drift off again, as the teacher and the other students continued to ramble on about how we came to Proxima and became the first interstellar human colony. It was a boring subject, and one that was covered every prox. As my mind drifted I wondered what it would have been like to be my Great Grandparents as they stepped foot onto an alien world.

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So I've started writing a new thing...

Another question for you all. What do you think the inhabitants of Proxima would call themelves?

On Earth, we're Earthlings, Terrans, etc.

What would it be on Proxima? Proxans, Proximans

I really don't know what to go with on this.

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So I've started writing a new thing...

smiley wrote:
Sounds like an interesting start. I agree that the history needs a little work. It comes off awkward. Maybe it should either be covered later in the story, or should be in a prologue?

Also, before the announcement, the passengers were unable to see the planet? Didn't know they were in orbit around the star? Was there a grand unveiling consisting of opening the viewing window, or had nobody looked up?

I was thinking that this would be a prologue. The more I think about it, the more I don't want to attempt to write the landing. As such have the history lesson, and then skip to the beginning of the colony.

As for the passengers being able to see the planet... it stands to reason that they would have been able to see the planet closing for the past weeks... what I wanted to convey was, in part, that the ship rotated to create a gravity effect... and that they were getting their first communal good look at the planet.

😎B.A.1😎 wrote:
Just a thought.
1. The Captian isn't going to announce something they don't already know (other than the arrival of the ship to the planet, your need to convey a history lesson will need to come from a different character source). Further, these people are already busy gearing up to go to the surface - much busier than they've been in nearly a decade. Personal opinion? If you want to convey a history lesson, maybe begin at the begining - such as a Colony Child in space class, listening to his/her teacher drone on until...the story dissolves into his/her young adult years when they finally make orbit.
Or...(Part B), explain the back history in bits and pieces as the story moves along. Without the need to crunch it in, you can be more considerate of your characters, environment, cosmology, discovery, solutions - etc...
Just sayin....
2. Higher C02 levels??? I wouldn't play too far into that thought. Green things tend to thrive in higher C02 environments....resulting in more oxygen production....
Just sayin....
Over-all, a fair start. Sounds good.

I actually really like the school room idea. It could be the great grandchild of the main character in class on Proxima learning about the beginnings of the colony.

As for the CO2... I'm going with the basis that there is no alien life on the planet. So even though it has the necessary gasses there wouldn't be any green. Hopefully the plants they brought will thrive in the alien world though!

DocteurRalph wrote:
I want to colonize a new planet now. I like the idea, it sounds like an interesting read. You know there's already got to be life there, maybe some sexy earth like beings... I can already see Captain Kirk hooking up first.

Unfortunately Docteur I'm going with the assumption of no life... so Captain Kirk is going to have to keep it in his pants. 😄

Thank you all for your support, and feedback. 😄

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So I've started writing a new thing...

Typically. That or Fantasy, though I don't do as much fantasy.

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I have something nice to say instead of something bad.

Congratulations!

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Until tonight I never truly understood how people could be awoken by anxiety...

Tonight I think it's because my brain is thinking that I should be working on it... Because that's what I'm doing.

As for whether I'll be able to do it or not... Well... that isn't really in my hands. Making the signs isn't the problem. I've already finished 2 since making this post. And as long as I can get the printed in time no issue on my end.
However, my partner needs to get us the permissions to use the logos of the other companies to be able to move forward with the printing. 😕

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Business help.

I don't think that you would need another biz to sell a brand... Just market the bags as brand "A" opposed to your store brand "B"

It would be the same as Wal Mart selling two brands of the same thing.

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My sister-in-law passed away early this morning.

Thank you all.

soco wrote:
How are you doing Padre? Just hoping you'll check in.
IF there is anything we can do for you please don't hesitate to ask. We care.

I'm holding. Very tired though. As much as I help others, and like to do so, all this social interaction is very draining for me... and that was just the visitations today. Tomorrow is the funeral. 😕

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My sister-in-law passed away early this morning.

Thank you.

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My sister-in-law passed away early this morning.

Thank you everyone. It means a lot.

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