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Araz
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Riddle me this: How do you stop caring what others think of you?

Actually- how do you stop living in your head, overthinking, and reading too much into everyone’s actions/words/etc?

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Since writing this post Araz may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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Electric
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Sometimes, it's good to get a consensus about something (usually something personal).
Other times, it's not a Democracy. The words, actions, intents, will or desire of others cannot replace the necessary element that is you.
It will always be your life. Drive it like you own it.
Also like:

How do you stop relying on what everyone else thinks

When you get tired of paying the consequences for intents that really don't fit your life pattern.

Yorick
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dog sitting did it for me.

314sftf
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This is something I have struggled with all my life. To the point that I obsessed over someones sarcastic 'you're welcome' comment a few days ago that is still niggling me.

I seem to fluctuate between not caring and caring too much. I think its just something you need to consciously recognise those thoughts and change them to something better.

I am forcing my self to do scary things at the minute, everytime I get a 'you're not good enough' thought, I recognise it, change it, and continue down the path of extreme fear but chasing my dreams. I hope you can get there too.

P.S Gary Vaynerchuk has some amazing videos on youtube that might help you, alot of them are businessy but he is very much in the 'dont give a f' game.

Dr. ralph club zps9ornptsl
(12 hours after post)
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I never had that problem. In fact I've always wondered how you start caring what others think about you. I'd probably be better in every way if I did give a crap about what my parents thought at the very least. Of course it's too late for that but yeah.

I guess there's a fine line between obsessing over other people's opinions and just not caring about how other people feel. And really I always blamed my 'don't give a f' attitude on living in my head too much. But I'm not really thinking about other people, I'm kind of off in this world of my own.

Happy earth
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I've never much cared what other people think, but I suspect it comes from having at least a hint of arrogance.

1581744157174 1581744149313 miss bot
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@DocteurRalph You just described 99% of all cats.

@Araz For the most part as we grow up we are taught to please others. Starting with our parents then on to our teachers and even bosses. We expect a favorable reward in return be it a pat on the back to a good grade to a raise. When we don't receive that reward we have a choice to sit there and take it or move on from trying to please that person. And it usually is only one person.
Narcissists on the other hand only do those things to please themselves. Never anyone else.
Finding the fine line between the two is fairly easy if you stay humble. And grounded.

Anonymous
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I’m currently reading how to win friends and influence people in the digital age. So far it’s helpng me change my perception of people. I have a negative association with people, I get bullied and hurt by other easily. I know that this is down to me and my poor self esteem And low confidence. So I’m working on myself to change how others see me and o see others.

I think that’s key. How you see yourself influences how others see you. If you are confident in yourself then you won’t let others question or judge.

Believe in you and others will too.

Img 2679
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Exercise more, it's good for your brain. Just a real mental health booster. Just my unfailing go to for bad thoughts and moods.

1581744157174 1581744149313 miss bot
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verge wrote:
Exercise more, it's good for your brain. Just a real mental health booster. Just my unfailing go to for bad thoughts and moods.

Very true. Even better to take a friend with you, even if it is just for a vigorous walk or jog.

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BIG.AL.ONE wrote:
Sometimes, it's good to get a consensus about something (usually something personal).
Other times, it's not a Democracy. The words, actions, intents, will or desire of others cannot replace the necessary element that is you.
It will always be your life. Drive it like you own it.
Also like:

How do you stop relying on what everyone else thinks

When you get tired of paying the consequences for intents that really don't fit your life pattern.

I really have to stop living for other’s approval.

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NaCtHoMaN wrote:
dog sitting did it for me.

Dogs are the best. They’re too busy loving you to judge.

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DocteurRalph wrote:
I never had that problem. In fact I've always wondered how you start caring what others think about you. I'd probably be better in every way if I did give a crap about what my parents thought at the very least. Of course it's too late for that but yeah.

I guess there's a fine line between obsessing over other people's opinions and just not caring about how other people feel. And really I always blamed my 'don't give a f' attitude on living in my head too much. But I'm not really thinking about other people, I'm kind of off in this world of my own.

I really think you and my husband would get along, you’re both so alike. If I could adopt even a little bit of this attitude, I know I would be happier.

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soco wrote:
@DocteurRalph You just described 99% of all cats.

@Araz For the most part as we grow up we are taught to please others. Starting with our parents then on to our teachers and even bosses. We expect a favorable reward in return be it a pat on the back to a good grade to a raise. When we don't receive that reward we have a choice to sit there and take it or move on from trying to please that person. And it usually is only one person.
Narcissists on the other hand only do those things to please themselves. Never anyone else.
Finding the fine line between the two is fairly easy if you stay humble. And grounded.

That line is a hard one to find, soco. But this is very true.

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Anonymous wrote:
I’m currently reading how to win friends and influence people in the digital age. So far it’s helpng me change my perception of people. I have a negative association with people, I get bullied and hurt by other easily. I know that this is down to me and my poor self esteem And low confidence. So I’m working on myself to change how others see me and o see others.

I think that’s key. How you see yourself influences how others see you. If you are confident in yourself then you won’t let others question or judge.

Believe in you and others will too.

100% my problem - low self confidence/esteem. I own this book, I should peruse it again. Thank you!

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verge wrote:
Exercise more, it's good for your brain. Just a real mental health booster. Just my unfailing go to for bad thoughts and moods.

I’m trying to do this! Hubby and I joined a gym and are trying to get back in shape. 🤞🏼

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Araz wrote:

verge wrote:
Exercise more, it's good for your brain. Just a real mental health booster. Just my unfailing go to for bad thoughts and moods.

I’m trying to do this! Hubby and I joined a gym and are trying to get back in shape. 🤞🏼

hmmmm, just a subtle reminder... round is a shape.

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soco wrote:

Araz wrote:

verge wrote:
Exercise more, it's good for your brain. Just a real mental health booster. Just my unfailing go to for bad thoughts and moods.

I’m trying to do this! Hubby and I joined a gym and are trying to get back in shape. 🤞🏼

hmmmm, just a subtle reminder... round is a shape.

Lol 😂😂😂

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Something that helps put my mind to ease is something I read, although I don't remember where I read it or what it was. It was someone talking about/to someone else they loved (I want to say their daughter) and they said; "Never discredit yourself over something that is out of your control."

And that really made me feel less self-deprecating, but so many times I get paranoid about other people thinking about me because of my looks and personality, two things that are completely out of my control because that's just the way I was born. I hope that speaks to you in the same way.

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I think I figured it out. I got rid of Facebook and I feel so much better already! No more comparing my every day moments to other people’s highlights. No more wondering why people have time to update their Facebook but not message me back. I actually finally feel free!

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That's a start. Good for you.

Electric
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I never had a Facebook account to begin with.

There's something about participating in the events of mass society that make me ill. You actually don't gain your identity through social media - you lose it, along with anything that separates you from any other "Joe Blow."

Two heads are not better than one (perhaps), but put together 50 heads in a focus group and you'd think they could improve perfection - not the case, but the opposite (and proud of it).

Also, with the exception of the past two months, I have not watched mainstream T.V. since 2005 - 14 years. I don't miss it. Further, I am sickened by T.V. at every level, when exposed - I can't take it.
I can't it's stupidity. It's content. It's reoccurring themes. It's news and media outlets. It's advertisements.
It needs to burn.

My outlets are; I collect movies. I'm in control of that, I choose the subject matter and the period in which it's made - I like older movies (late 80's and back - there are exceptions).
Same thing with music.
And, of course, Help QA as my social media and You Tube.

Further.
I have a computer that has never been on line, therefore it performs well as it should when it comes to running specific programs that I've installed.

I use my LG smartphone as a filter to the internet - What I install on my computer us first quareniend by my phone.

Screw the internet - it can die and blast the world for having jumped in head first into shallow water - the consequences to follow....it's not over. The internet is still a basically new monster on the block.

And finally....cellphones. They can die, too. You can argue to me all day long but these devices have not improved the human condition - they have created mass addictions....
Here's how you know you've lost touch with humanity -
You know that feeling you get when you misplace or lose your phone....? That's the tail wagging the dog right there. It says everything about you - it says....you're not in control of your life unless you're falling asleep and waking up with these electronic scrying boards in your hand.
I was always taught to never put all your eggs in one basket - even then, only put in what you're willing to lose because $#!t always happens. But...what do people do? That's right, not only do they throw in the kitchen sink, they also throw in their soul on that little slab of silicon - strike a pose, take a selfie, chose the emoji and upload it.

These are devices of enslavement. The sad part is, they are completely voluntiery.

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@BA1 I’m not a fan of mainstream TV anymore either. I usually binge watch recommendations on Netflix or HBO and love watching movies.

I listen to 70s/80s music mostly but am familiar with current music because that is what my friends/family listen to. At home and in the car, though, I prefer those decades.

My laptop broke a few months ago and I haven’t gotten around to replacing it. I use my (older) iPhone for everything. Unfortunately, I need my phone for real estate. It has an app to let me into homes to show them and I need it to contact my clients. I wish I didn’t have to be so plugged into my texts/calls all of the time. I check this site, texts, & calls on it but that’s it.

Social media enslavement is 100% voluntary. It gives you a false sense of connection when they like/comment on things you post. I’m totally done with Facebook.

Happy earth
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I guess I'm far more addicted to information than to validation. I have and use social media, but most of my internet time is spent looking up useless information. I've never looked at a friend or family member's pictures or words and felt jealous or inferior, and it's not because my people don't have and do beautiful and amazing things. I'm just happy for them and I have my own life with my own set of struggles and rewards.

314sftf
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Araz wrote:
@BA1 I’m not a fan of mainstream TV anymore either. I usually binge watch recommendations on Netflix or HBO and love watching movies.

I listen to 70s/80s music mostly but am familiar with current music because that is what my friends/family listen to. At home and in the car, though, I prefer those decades.

My laptop broke a few months ago and I haven’t gotten around to replacing it. I use my (older) iPhone for everything. Unfortunately, I need my phone for real estate. It has an app to let me into homes to show them and I need it to contact my clients. I wish I didn’t have to be so plugged into my texts/calls all of the time. I check this site, texts, & calls on it but that’s it.

Social media enslavement is 100% voluntary. It gives you a false sense of connection when they like/comment on things you post. I’m totally done with Facebook.

Good for you. Im sure it will do you the world of good to be offline for a while. Make sure your taking care of yourself and making time for hubby too!

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soco wrote:

Araz wrote:

verge wrote:
Exercise more, it's good for your brain. Just a real mental health booster. Just my unfailing go to for bad thoughts and moods.

I’m trying to do this! Hubby and I joined a gym and are trying to get back in shape. 🤞🏼

hmmmm, just a subtle reminder... round is a shape.

hahahahaha

Screenshot 20201225 201925 google
(1 week after post)
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Araz wrote:
I think I figured it out. I got rid of Facebook and I feel so much better already! No more comparing my every day moments to other people’s highlights. No more wondering why people have time to update their Facebook but not message me back. I actually finally feel free!

Don't always take it personally when people don't message you back.

I often leave it hours, days, weeks, months, and once - years to reply.
It's no personal snub to the messenger, I just have to be in the right place to talk, and that isn't often.

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