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My manager admitted to me yesterday that she looked at my social media and I don’t know how I feel about it.

My Instagram is public but it’s not under my name. Like someone can’t find me just by searching for my first and last name. Well, idk if she found me by my cell number or what but she came out and told me she liked my new haircut. At first, I just thought she was being nice but then she went on to tell me that she seen a photo of my new haircut. She basically told me she looked at that photo and then was scrolling thru all of my photos. And what makes it worse, I found her Instagram and she follows most of us that work there but not me. Like she admitted to finding my page but yet she didn’t add me and she didn’t like any of my photos. I don’t know how I feel about it.

And I don’t have anything bad on there. I did make my social media private after she told me this. I don’t want my employer spying on me. I feel like if they want to know something then they should just ask me instead of spying on me.

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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feel, told, social, media, spying
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314sftf
Nix
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its 2019, employers spy on their employees. I cant tell you how many times someone from my old job was sacked/suspended/warned for writing something about work on facebook. yes its intrusive, but it happens and unless you make accounts super private, you should assume that everyone has seen it.

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soco
last online: 03/19, 3:49
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(9 hours after post)
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So just to be clear, you spied on your bosses Instagram profile but have an issue with her spying on you?
Double standard?

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Original Poster
Anonymous
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(12 hours after post)
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Haha. I only looked hers up because she told me she was looking at mine.

Happy earth
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last online: 11/26, 18:47
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(13 hours after post)
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If you put it on the internet, it isn't spying, it's public.

Maybe she wants to be your friend.

Yorick
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last online: 02/28, 23:53
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(19 hours after post)
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i made a solid rule.. bosses have no business in your private life. Unless they're good people who mind their own, its a nasty habit they have. probably cuz they feel like they need to be involved.

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Lano
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1731554328" title="Nov 14, 2024 3:18">Nov 14, 2024 3:18</time>
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Making your account public and then calling it spying when someone looks at it is kind of like wearing a t-shirt with writing on it and calling it spying when someone reads it as you wear it.

Honestly, I hardly ever use my facebook account partly because of the liking awkwardness. There are no clear cut social rules on these things, at least none I'm aware of. I'd find it more creepy if she liked every photo than her not liking any.

She probably was bored and browsing one day and got curious, looked you up and mentioned it to you in person because she thought that was the least creepy thing to do, because honestly it is imo.

Or maybe she's obsessed and in love with you and has a shrine of you in her attic with your new haircut picture in the center.

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Aria
last online: 03/16, 22:34
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Lano wrote:

Or maybe she's obsessed and in love with you and has a shrine of you in her attic with your new haircut picture in the center.

This had me laughing through a hangover this morning. Thanks! Lol.

I think if she hadn't told you she found it, it would be considered spying, but at least she was upfront with you, and let you know she's seen it. But I wonder if maybe making it private, might make her feel as if you don't like her, or it's a personal rejection? Perhaps she didn't follow you without knowing if you were okay with it and her telling you she'd found it, was her leaving that open door.

Are you maybe interacting with other co-workers, and that's how she may have found it? From how you explained it, it sounds like she might be trying to get to know you better outside of work, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. It could be a lot worse and she might have a slight against you. But it sounds kinda positive.

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No worries

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Anonymous
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(2 days after post)
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Well she asked me today in front of everyone about it. And I told her I thought about it and it’s just I want to keep everything separated. It’s nothing against her it’s just I don’t like the idea of having my boss on my social media. And I told her that I would rather have people talk with me about things instead of just going to my social media and not talking with me at all. The assistant manager was making comments about it. But then a supervisor took my side and said she agreed with me. Some people like to keep it separated. I don’t like the idea that she asked me in front of everyone. And I’m a very honest person. So now it’s going to be awkward.

05ad6afe 1f85 4c4a 8680 4f73a3c1f45c
Lano
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1731554328" title="Nov 14, 2024 3:18">Nov 14, 2024 3:18</time>
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Anonymous wrote:
Well she asked me today in front of everyone about it. And I told her I thought about it and it’s just I want to keep everything separated. It’s nothing against her it’s just I don’t like the idea of having my boss on my social media. And I told her that I would rather have people talk with me about things instead of just going to my social media and not talking with me at all. The assistant manager was making comments about it. But then a supervisor took my side and said she agreed with me. Some people like to keep it separated. I don’t like the idea that she asked me in front of everyone. And I’m a very honest person. So now it’s going to be awkward.

That she brought up you making your account private in front of everyone is pretty weird, though maybe she feels more comfortable with you than she really has a right too, some peeps misread situations.

It doesn't have to be awkward, if it's the kind of job where you don't want them following you on social media you don't need to worry about what they think.

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DocteurRalph
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1729727397" title="Oct 23, 2024 23:49">Oct 23, 2024 23:49</time>
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Social media is the Devil. Don't post ****shit you wouldn't want everyone in the world to see, forever. Like your future grandchildren or your own grandmother. It's there to be looked at isn't it? Why hate on someone for doing so? By the way spying or what we used to call "creeping" on other people is now the national pastime.

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WritetheHeroine
last online: 10/16, 16:55
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Since your manager follows other employees on social media, that behavior may be pretty normal to them in the workplace. I'm not sure how long you've been working there, but I suggest you drop the issue and maybe do some research on how to make your social media accounts more private.

Referring to that as spying comes across as rather immature and naively out-of-touch. Just ignore, brush-off, and don't bring up, any comments at work regarding personal matters. It's quite unbecoming in any workplace to bring turmoil and tension into work. It affects the entire atmosphere, and bringing anything like choosing "sides" adds to the juvenile nature of the kerfuffle.

You don't need their approval in order to be a great employee or hold others respect. If someone in this day and age keeps compromising material on their social media or personal electronic devices then there's always the chance it can bite you in the ***ass. Is it fair when teachers' computers are hacked and a nude photo from a file on their personal computer is copied and passed around, leading to their dismissal "fair?" Not really. We also have to be diligent to protect ourselves from being sitting ducks.

I hope that stuff with your manager blows over soon for you. From a outer-circle point-of-view workplace drama really makes showing up to deal with it a pain. I work in a small independent store where we've all known one another for a few years to over a decade, and there are seven of us. The drama gets really stupid. Sometimes, fellow workers have little going on in their own lives and take pleasure in poking and prodding whoever they can get. Don't take the bait; that's their problem if they need to swaddle themselves in the personal lives of employees and/or acquaintances (at best).
You can do this.

Original Poster
Anonymous
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(4 days after post)
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Thank you for this. I go back in to work tomorrow and I’ve done decided that I’m just going to sit back and just do my job. I am a little aggravated that she brought it up in front of everyone and I just feel like it’s no one’s business. But I did work the day before yesterday and I just kinda kept to myself. Except that assistant manager walked in and said something to a coworker and she made a comment about people not being able to tell when she was being sarcastic and she looked at me. Well, when she walked away my coworker who is a supervisor told me he didn’t know if she was being sarcastic or not. I don’t really care for her. But I hate drama and tension. And I noticed she was the one who was really going on and on about what happened. She asked my manager what my Instagram account was and I did notice that my manager didn’t tell her. I feel like they love gossip and I sometimes think it bothers them because I am a very private person. My Instagram isn’t even under my name. But thanks for those words. Hopefully tomorrow goes well.

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WritetheHeroine
last online: 10/16, 16:55
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I'm glad to hear things are starting to level-out. :) Hopefully, your more chatty coworkers can break their habit of entertaining themselves by pushing others buttons instead of focusing on work. Good luck!

Anonymous
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(6 days after post)
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Companies can go to hell. The more I've interacted and worked with them the more I hate them. I've tried to relate. Put myself in their shoes. If I had a business 'would this sort of thing be something I'd feel morally okay with'

And it's all fine. I don't think I can stop it. If you look up my social media accounts you find nothing that isn't fake. And I know the truth. If I did post honestly it would indicate I'm not the peachy model of company standards anyway. Until I develop a passion for working for you or some other asshole in charge I guess I'll just be there for the money.

But you don't have to look at my Facebook profile to become aware of that. American business: You're a piece of sh*t only in it for you and you'd be worse if it didn't further expose you to risk of being prosecuted.

I've had over 50 jobs. Some of them I was fired from(laid off), most of them I quit, some just died. 2 were somewhat honest.

I have no reason to believe it stops at social media spying.

When it comes down to it most of them are liars, and will stop at only what would potentially damage them, to completely screw you to get whatever they can out of you and they don't care about anything else.

Whether you're a customer or an employee. They're using you. And that's all.

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DocteurRalph
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1729727397" title="Oct 23, 2024 23:49">Oct 23, 2024 23:49</time>
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(6 days after post)
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If it's no one's business why is it on the interweb?

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Original Poster
Anonymous
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(1 week after post)
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Yeah, that is true.

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WritetheHeroine
last online: 10/16, 16:55
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Logic isn't plentiful on this sphere of ours. And now there's an invisible dodecahedron of a town-square, where one can take their time on the can while barking through a megaphone. Others sit in a corner with blankets, write poetry, and look for bread-maker recipes.

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