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What's the best way to deal or accept people disliking you as a result of ignorance?

Because of a lack of understanding the impact their actions had on you. For my own sake I know I have to accept this because, for them, it's easier for them to not try to understand. Yet they project their self hatred onto me. I have to come across this person now and then.

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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person, understand, project, accept, hatred
Replies (14)
Roccoflip
Rockster160
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I usually just laugh and shrug off any negativity that type of person throws my way. Even if they're insulting or do/say things that are quite hurtful. Just pretend that everything they say is funny and brush it off. Don't let them hurt you.

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As a rule, people will not dislike you without a real reason.
What have you done to give someone a reason to dislike you?
Truth is you may have a view (one of which they have already seen from your ***pov) which is completely unsolvable to the original problem...
...the very problem you're not speaking about right now.
Again, people don't generally dislike without a cause.

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music=life
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Try and correct there ignorance. Explain why they are misinformed. Sometimes we can all be ignorant with out knowing and need an explanation or a general reminder we are being stupid. If this is not the case then rise above it and show them through actions that they are stupid and misjudged you

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DocteurRalph
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So you're saying they don't like you because they don't understand how bad they hurt you? So they would like you if they did understand how bad they hurt you?

I'd just try to stay away from the person and if they are near ignore them. I don't see any reason to resolve the conflict.

Help me with:

I need help.

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Neutra-The-SpaceWeaver
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Forgive them of their short comings and find a common ground both of you can agree upon.

Normally when people are difficult to get along you must distance yourself from them, but still love them from that distance. Always remember that you can't force someone to like you, if they don't want anything to do with you then it's their lost and your time saved on better things

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soco
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There is no known cure for stupidity. You may never be able to convince them to think differently of you. But by posting this question may I assume you want to try? If so go for it. Acknowledge the animosity and see if they are willing to talk about it as time allows. This can ultimately turn into a positive for both of you.

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We have another hurricane coming this way.

Yorick
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@OP story of my life.. secretly deep down they want you to like them and they'll hate you for it. the math does not compute. they're stupid. so have fun with it.

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BigWilly!
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Life is too short to waste on shitheads. I generally let unpleasant people stew in their own juices sans my company.

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verge
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That's tough, it's too bad you have to be around them. I think kindness is an amazing teacher, so if you can manage to be kind to them even in the face of their awfulness, you might make a difference for them and others like you. :) As for help with coping emotionally, taking responsibility for the entire situation can be very empowering. Understanding definitely lessens the hurt of hate, and if you manage to understand the whole thing from their perspective and yours, it's suddenly a lot easier to forgive both them and yourself. Railing against the idea that you should ever have to be forgiven points toward how almost all people, myself included, do actually internalize hate and then build up all kinds of arguments to defend and justify ourselves, which then can result in projecting self hatred, just like you're noticing in this other person.

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Aria
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I probably wouldn't recommend my own personal experience and coping choice to anyone else; I learned to hate myself more than the other person could - regardless of why or whatever their reasons for it are. You cannot hate a person who hates themselves worse than you do.

Sometimes, it's actually baffled the person that I can honestly look them in the eye or...whatever the interaction platform is, and just go "yup, that's true." I actually had an argumentative troll get so angry at me he kept saying he was going to report me for bullying.

Apparently self-insulting was offensive to him somehow. It made for a rather amusing time when others who saw the thread were completely lost as to why he was annoyed that he was being told/shown that his insults weren't harsh enough...

I still laugh about it whenever I think of it. It's not the first time someone has gotten really mad at me that I was saying s**t about myself before they could - and amplify it, it was just the first time that someone went "stooooop! I'm gonna tell on you! You're being mean to yourself and I wanted to do that!"

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Aria
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Aria wrote:
You cannot hate a person who hates themselves worse than you do

That doesn't make sense the way I worded that; seventh attempt to rewrite it:

No one can hate a person who hates themselves more than that person already does. I'm sure there probably could be some people who will try, though. But I find that people really don't like it when I can prove I do it better. It tends to really irritate them for some reason. Maybe they feel like their glory is being stolen? I don't know.

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soco
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Aria wrote:

Aria wrote:
You cannot hate a person who hates themselves worse than you do

That doesn't make sense the way I worded that; seventh attempt to rewrite it:

No one can hate a person who hates themselves more than that person already does. I'm sure there probably could be some people who will try, though. But I find that people really don't like it when I can prove I do it better. It tends to really irritate them for some reason. Maybe they feel like their glory is being stolen? I don't know.

I hate you Aria. Simply because you thought of this first! ❣

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We have another hurricane coming this way.

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Aria
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Aww, thanks! I hate me too! It used to get me into a lot of trouble during my early school years when the bullies would get mad and tell the counselors on me.

The was a day in fourth grade after an incident (which I can't remember what it even was now) but I was almost "announced" into the classroom to find that the day I'd been away previously, she had made all the students handcraft me Christmas cards that were displayed on my desk and chair for when I got there...it was awkward as hell. But I knew the reason behind it. It was basically a punishment for them all because apparently it was the teacher's way of making them apologize for "making me say awful things about myself". I think she gave them far too much credit. I beat them to it years before and they didn't make me do anything. Lol.

Truthfully, I still feel sorry for all of them for having to do that. But I suspect they might have thought it was a good excuse to miss the German portion of the day (it was a bilingual class).

Anonymous
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(5 days after post)
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Ignoring them, or playing it as if you didn't realize their feelings. Act as if nothing borrows you. They typically back off.

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