Help.
911. SOS. I screwed up and I don’t know how I’m going to recover. My ex-boyfriend is engaged and it’s really messed with my head. Like any person with no self-control I was constantly creeping on his fiancé and his social media accounts. Last week I made the decision to stop. I made sure to block them on everything as to not be tempted to check. I just got an email saying that they found out somehow and I need to stop. I feel horrible. I can’t stop crying and hyperventilating And I don’t know if I’m going to be OK.
If you are contemplating suicide, hurting yourself, or you are seriously depressed: please, seek professional help!
Call this hotline (1-800-273-8255) operated by our friends at the Suicide Prevention Lifeline, anytime, for free, professional, and confidential assistance. While other Helpers are likely to reply to your post, please make sure you understand that your use of Help-QA.com falls under or TOS.
Note: I'm a robot that the Help-QA creators programmed. If this response is in error, I apologize, please ignore it.
Here’s what he wrote:
Hi,
I am aware that you subscribed to Mariel's YouTube and have made a few other social media interactions with her since after we last spoke.
I want to know if there is anything you would like to talk about with me or need me to clarify? I would be more than willing to talk to you.
But if not, please stop involving her. It is making her feel very uncomfortable, and even with me as well.
I sincerely apologize for anything I did that is making you do these actions.
Help. 911. SOS. I fuckedscrewed up up and I don’t know how I’m going to recover. My ex-boyfriend is engaged and it’s really fuckedmessed up my head. Like any person with my head. Like any person with no self-control I was constantly creeping on his fiancé and his social media accounts. Last week I made the decision to stop. I made sure to block them on everything as to not be tempted to check. I just got an email saying that they found out somehow and I need to stop. I don feel horrible. I can’t stop crying and hyperventilating And I don’t know if I’m going to be OK.
It takes time to come to terms and to let go.
Don’t try to control your emotions. Try to observe them and pass through them to gain more understanding of why you do what you do.
Insight makes it easier to cope.
The reason I keep checking up on him was because I clearly still love him, or the idea of him. We dated 9 months. Had agreed we wanted to get married. He lived in India and I live in the us so there was a lot against up. Then I started battling with depression and we definitely had some rough times He evenydumbed me and immediately got Iinvolvrd with a different girl. It had been a year since we broke up and less than a year latter they are envy
But here’s the thing. I still love him and as much is I am hurting right now I don’t ever want to make anyone feel how horrible I feel at this
Just walk away.
You loved him; you probably always will a little bit, but he is gone. Now, nothing you learn about his life will make you feel better, so just stop.
We've all been there; and the only thing that really helps is letting go, taking time to heal, then vowing to live a fantastic life without him.
He's asking you to stop and you've already stopped last week. I think you are only embarrassed to have been caught. It's not going to change your actions.
Love never goes away, but it will change in time, when you're ready. Let yourself mourn the loss him, and let him move on.
I feel bad and I want to try and make her feel better. On the other hand I don’t want contact with him. I was thinking of responding but address the girl. Saying “there is no need to reply. I will be deleting all social media account so if you get any notifications it is just to make sure I’m not following you before I delete them. I am sorry. It was wrong and won’t happen again
Also I took a lot o xxanx last night bc I was having panic attacks. From there I don’t remember what happened. I think I started drinking as well
music=life wrote:
I feel bad and I want to try and make her feel better. On the other hand I don’t want contact with him. I was thinking of responding but address the girl.
I think you should not respond, but if you feel that you must, keep it brief. Just apologize, then stop.
music=life wrote:
Also I took a lot o xxanx last night bc I was having panic attacks. From there I don’t remember what happened. I think I started drinking as well
Is this a sign of a problem? Overdosing on Xanax is dangerous. You think you were drinking, or you were drinking? If you've got a problem with alcohol you should not keep it in your house.
Please be safe.
I have never had an issue with medications. I hate taking them. I do not drink bc my mother has an alcohol dependency issue. I also do not like the taste. I only drink at special occasions and even then it’s usually just a sip. The xxanx I took was from months ago when I was being treating for panic attacks, anxiety, and severe depression. I final got myself out of that horrible place and I am terrified that this email will put me back there. I agree that I should not respond
So don't respond.
Take a few days and just do something that uses no effort. Binge watch a tv show (preferably a non-drama/romantic/anything that will bring your mind back). Read some books (follow same rules as above) generally do something for a while that will just distract you and give you a couple days to heal. I know it takes more than that, but the initial scar will start the healing process and then it will get easier over time. Just don't do anything hasty. Don't do anything that can't be undone or that you might regret later.
I just check YouTube bc I never looked her up on there and found that she subscribe to me
That makes me angry so I couldn’t help myself but reply :
What I did was wrong. I am sorry. It will never happen again. There is no need to respond to this. I have deleted all social media accounts.
As for the Youtube, I logged on it appears that she subscribed to me, not the other way around. It is irrelevant now as I deleted that account.
I think deleting all accounts is overboard. Removing subscriptions/follows/whatever is plenty sufficient. Anything beyond that seems overly dramatic to me, personally. But what’s done is done. Time to move on and put it behind you.
Help. 911. SOS. I screwed up and I don’t know how I’m going to recover. My ex-boyfriend is engaged and it’s really messed with my head. Like any person with no self-control I was constantly creeping on his fiancé and his social media accounts. Last week I made the decision to stop. I made sure to block them on everything as to not be tempted to check. I just got an email saying that they found out somehow and I need to stop. I don feel horrible. I can’t stop crying and hyperventilating And I don’t know if I’m going to be OK.
It's tough to get over someone. I pushed a girl away that I still think about, and I haven't seen her since her wedding in 1984... so yeah you know facebook is private. You can creep on him and his new ho there all you want, just don't like anything or friend them or whatever. If they block you, you can check out some of their friend's posts and still see what's up with them. Always use the private mode on your computer and enjoy. Eventually you will get over the guy, a new guy would help a lot with that. Concentrate on the future and quit dwelling on the past.
Help me with: I need help.
That’s the thing, they never blocked me from anything. Which would be way easier than emailing me. I blocked them just so it would take me a separate step to look at there profiles (to then unblock them). I want to get off social media bc it has caused me to become obsessive and I think it’s the only solution. But I feel so horrible about myself that they found out and it’s impacting there life. And I am mad that he contacted me
I am so sorry you are still struggling with that guy, music=life :(( I take ages to recover from a relationship, and also can be obsessive, and in the past i was a little stalker, too.. Letting go/forgiving is the hardest thing for me to do, so I understand, I think.
Anyway, as embarassing as you feel, it could have been worse if they took some legal action against you, so it is not that bad if you 'just' got the note, hm?
Any chance you can distract yourself in some other POSITIVE way?
The first guy whom I fell in love with a month before we finished high school after 8 years in one class; I never ever met another one like him. But I was not good enough for his mother. He was the only son and she wanted someone special for him.. Anyway, seeing his wedding pictures on facebook almost killed me, and I was not spying on him - some other class mate who went to his wedding posted them..
Wish you a speedy getting over him and moving on. Sending lots of love and strength. You can be happy again; with or without someone else.. xx
I’m going to try and get back on medication. I have been having constant panic attacks since this happened
I couldn’t help it- I sent this...
This is a letter I never wanted to write because I never want you to feel as horrible as you made me feel. I loved you and probably still do. I won't ever say you cheated but you left me for her which hurts just as much. You told your mom you were going to marry me. We talked about being together and starting our lives together. We had plans, and I was stupid enough to fall for them. You left. From my understanding, it was because you didn’t want to leave your family and I couldn’t see myself leaving mine. But the second after you left me you got into a relationship with another American girl. When you broke up with me, it started with looking at her profile waiting for you to declare you were in a relationship. Then you got engaged not even a year after our relationship ended. And that hurt. I felt used and stupid for thinking anything you said was true. Checking in on her profile and yours allowed me to be prepared with what was coming next, you coming here-which scares the ****shit out of me. Everything I did was out of fear and even though you have no idea how much you hurt me I didn’t ever mean to hurt you.
When he broke up with me I didn’t say anything, which is my fault. I don’t express the way I’m feels because ‘what if the other person thinks they are weong’ Or ‘what if it starts a fight’. I have been taught to be a good little girl and hold my tongue. My whole life everything I do and say is to make other people happy. This email was to finally stand up for myself. You are right, it came too late and did no good. But I got to say how I felt and for once without thinking of what others might think.
He replied essentially saying that he loved her the whole time we were together and he lied to me so I wouldn’t get upset. But he phrased it in a way like I couldn’t be mad at him. I’m so sick of being used
music=life wrote:
He replied essentially saying that he loved her the whole time we were together and he lied to me so I wouldn’t get upset. But he phrased it in a way like I couldn’t be mad at him. I’m so sick of being used
:O noooo! :(((( So, how are you feeling now? Did it help you to get over him..? Sending big hug xx
Mya wrote:
music=life wrote:
He replied essentially saying that he loved her the whole time we were together and he lied to me so I wouldn’t get upset. But he phrased it in a way like I couldn’t be mad at him. I’m so sick of being used:O noooo! :(((( So, how are you feeling now? Did it help you to get over him..? Sending big hug xx
i feel horrible and cheated
music=life wrote:
He replied essentially saying that he loved her the whole time we were together and he lied to me so I wouldn’t get upset. But he phrased it in a way like I couldn’t be mad at him. I’m so sick of being used
That is so low! It's horrible that he led you on like that. I hope karma bites him. People like that deserve people like that, not nice and genuine people like you.
Help-QA supports basic Markdown, emoji 😁, and tagging friends with @username!
To use this site you must be 13 years or older and occasionally submit your email address. Your email address is only shared with your explicit permission.