Sorry for late reply. I think I understand your frustration. I know quite a few people who you would call 'unlucky', and there does not seem to be anything that they can do to break this 'curse'. Most of them suffered quite severe trauma in their childhood..

My theory is that if this trauma was somehow resolved, then the 'curse' would be broken. However, that is easier said than done.. I myself don't know what exactly needs to be done, but I do have hope and keep trying. And I have hope for you, too. x

Hi, I wonder, would you say you might be suffering from depression? Or is it just a general unhappiness? Are there people who love you in your life/who you love?

What do you mean by this?

My only motivation to keep going was my daughter. And we have been through a LOT! Now she's all grown up, and does not need me any more (well, most of the time), I do struggle to find joy in life overall.

I do have hobbies that make me very happy temporarily while I'm doing them. I have friends that make me happy. I like my job, if only it paid more.. But overall, since my daughter stopped needing me, I feel kind of empty. I am not depressed, perhaps sad, but I still keep going.

I have done lots of work on myself over the years, psychological, spiritual, emotional, physical etc, you name it, I likely have done it. The God thing kept me going for quite some time until it went all disastrously wrong and now I am longing for that closeness with the Creator, but can't find it again..

I do hope you will find that positive motivation to keep going and finding true joy. Drugs may be a temporary solution; I have never tried, but have friends who have, and they have spent years and years in treatment/meetings to help them stay away from drugs, and sadly have lots of health issues as a consequence. So, you might like to think of a solution in a long run?

Welcome back, BananaLlama, and really soryy you are tired, stressed, and overwhelmed with the worst things all at once. :(

Is any of it something you would like to talk about?

A great idea, Lano! Love, peace and blessings to all.

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PS: I'm not too good with forgiveness, sadly, so still hope all my ex-es will go to hell. O:)

I'm glad the site is still around. Sad that not many folks participate as they used to. It was quite a supportive community on here. Hope it will pick up again.

Me, like usually, have just too much going on.. but like usually, I will likely survive, lol.

All the best to everyone <3

Aaw, bless @Yorick. Glad you see the situation from a different angle now, and hope it will be more bearable, all those extra responsibilities ;) Better than dealing with all the drama and bullying/harassment etc, hm? Stay strong

I think I understand the situation you are in, and I am really sorry that you have to deal with it on the top.

It is a tricky situation. You can talk to the HR and see what they will suggest. I am not exactly certain what laws are in your country, harrasment, bullying, unfair treatment etc. And going that route will likely not be easy. There also might be a union that you could consult or some free citizen advice agency?

There are books/online resources on this topic, you might wish to consult them, like bullying in the workplace etc. Also, you might like to review 'dealing with toxic people' kind of resources, if the problem is reoccurring. You can learn to be more assertive, enforce boundaries, but that can also have limits, as if the bullies will be unable to find another target, they will probably just step up the game?

This situation would require lots of support for you, lots of strenght, and wisdom. Is leaving an option?

I wish I had more advise to offer as I continually find myself in similar situations, but can elaborate on any topic from what I have already suggested if of any help.

Hope you will find the right solution soon, @Yorick

Thanks for your kind comments, @Araz. Being a single parent is quite challenging, so a positive remrk like yours is a confidence booster.x

My daughter did (finally) recognise that she had a few issues to work through, and found herself a therapist with whom she was initially very happy. But after about a year, the effect of the therapy completely deteriorated, and she found herself going to the therapy for the therapist, rather than for herself! She was unable to quit, basically, although it became less than helpful.

In our area it is quite challenging to find a therapist to meet in person, but in all these technological advances of being able to access therapy online, hopefully she will find the right person soon. Maybe that is my next hope for her to recognize what an appropriate partner is.. [but feeling like being a hypocrite here, having fallen for the worst possible guys myself in the past.. but none of them of this age gap though! O:) ]

Hi @Araz, thanks for your post. You are right about the age difference. And I agree with you, I work with children, I know my safeguarding.. They met in an online gaming platform; and it was a game for kids!

However, my daughter is at fault as well, as she lied to him about her age when she was 13, she told him she was 16. Still, even then it was 12 year difference between them even if that was true and that was a children's game. I do think he was 'grooming' her as well.

Now, my daughter has a computer science related education, and she studied software engineering since she was 15, so I am sure she was taught all these safeguarding issues from at least 15. I did talk to her about things well before that, but sadly, she never listens to me..

Anyway, he is now gone, left a week ago. He stayed with my daughter as we do not live with her together, but we live very close to each other.

I did meet him on Christmas day, and managed not to murder him, it being a Christmas day and all, I resisted, lol.

No, it was very hard. He arrived a week before Christmas, and my daughter just stopped communicating with me. I understood that they saw each other for the first time after 2.5 years, that she did not want to 'waste' time with me. But I'm not used to that; I brought her on my own since she was 3.5.

I had a dilemma wether to lecture him, question him, shame, guilt, or worse, but my daughter was so happy like probably never in her life, so I did not want to spoil it for her. She cried for many days after he left, and is still not stable enough for me to talk to her about the situation, so I'm just giving her time.

He is extremely immature for his age, still living with his mother, and never lived apart from her. He is still a serious gamer, and he is also a software engineer, so I am not sure if my daughter's choice was influenced by him, and her addiction with gaming, or they really just 'found each other'.

I did not know about him until she was 18. Prior to that she told me that the guy who she was chatting to was from her school. I did wonder why she never brings him home, or meets him after school, but she did have a severe social anxiety, and did not even go to school for six months at some point due to the anxiety, so I thought she was not seeing him in person because of that. Which I was quite pleased, actually. I though she was safer that way..

So, don't know. My daughter has always been an extremely obedient daughter, hard working at school, and now in her job, a perfectionist.. She never ever did anything else that would worry me etc. She's alwaays had a tendency to lie, like her father, sadly. I did not realise just how serious her lies can be until she admitted the truth about the guy. I'm not happy about them being together, but I do really want her to be happy. And if it is indeed love and happiness what is between them, then may it be blessed, but I'm not convinced it is from his side..

(sorry long reply!)

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