I wonder if that made even 75% of sense? Lol.

A late add after the complete verbal assault above (I apologize for that).

Personally, I do not see pedophiles and abusers of peers the same thing. I've had experience with both, and I just can't. I don't even have a reason that would seem "credible".

To me, a pedophile is "broken" there is something in them who doesn't always understand that their feelings or actions aren't "okay" (they just feel that the rest of the world doesn't understand/can't help). Of course, some do understand that such feelings/behaviors aren't "right" but are always fear of the "temptation" (a friend of mine has a relative like this...who acknowledges that such thoughts are "wrong" and is open about his worries)

Someone who oversteps the boundaries of consent towards another peer/adult though? I don't think it's a "born with it" issue. I think in a lot of cases, they lack empathy to the point that they either don't "care" how the other person is feeling/doesn't want to), or...they feel overly entitled.

I'm a member of a site that is usually (but sadly, not all the time) extremely focused on trying to counteract ****rape culture with "consent culture". The site is one focused on sexuality and non-vanilla areas of relationships/lifestyles (I won't name names, though, for privacy reasons). There constantly is a clash of opinions were some people feel that another person is "justified" in consent violation behavior, or worse, they don't even see a justification at all, they feel ENTITLED to have what they want, or the assume that the women on the site are automatically there for THEIR convenience and are "easy".

That isn't the case. My issue is that society is not being strict enough on the intolerance of people who violate another person's consent. And in non-pedo circumstances, this makes the offenders feel like the consequences are not a "big deal".

For instance, here in Australia - sexual harassment or even assault that's not "****rape", gets a slap on the wrist. Two years ago, I made a report about someone who made non-consensual actions against me...in front of my non-suspecting parents, no less. All he said was "I have no clue what you're talking about" in the questioning room (three months later) and they just called me randomly and basically told me "he said he didn't do it, oh well...case closed."

When I was 13, my best friend at the time was assaulted by my mother's (now) ex-boyfriend while my mother was in hospital and she and I had a sleepover at our house. At the time, he had made "moves" on me, but I didn't recognize it, but when that incident happened, chaos followed. I realized what had happened to me previously, was less than what happened in my presence (I too, gave a statement to the police...which HE actually called on himself). He got NO time, and a 12 month "good behavior bond". My friend was 13, and completely traumatized. I was put into foster care after a week of staying with her and her family, and we hadn't seen each other since. My own ill mother was blamed for his actions toward me, AND toward my friend. I tried to have him charged as well, but the police wanted dates and exact times that his behavior happened. As if I kept a log of them when he was supposed to be dating my MOTHER and I was only 13. The complaints I did, were dropped and not even investigated. The police officer during the statement told me "You don't have dates and/or times? there's nothing we can do. Sorry."

Maybe it's different elsewhere, but from my experience in Australia...if you're an adult woman, and you haven't been fully *****raped, (even attempted doesn't count) they don't really do much. Hence why I mentioned further above that I feel that accusations are not taken seriously. After I was actually *****raped at 15 and then again at 16...I didn't even bother reporting it anymore.

Which led to a lot of people saying "if you didn't report it, or have them charged...it didn't happen and YOU'RE the liar."

I got pregnant from BOTH of those assaults too.

I'm 31 now and STILL have not had consensual ***sex. I still consider myself a virgin.

(I added this reply just before the previous two, so sorry to add this at the end and make this seem like another ramble....)

Honestly, apart from the "I'm still a virgin" thin I mentioned just now, the memories do not bother me all that much anymore. They probably do in a sense of "***sex is overrated", but other than that, I make a loud point to speak out against sexual abuse/assault/harassment of any kind, and each time, I feel absolutely LIVID when I hear of another case. It brings my passion against it back to the surface and I cannot stay quiet/ignorant about it. I've experienced too much.

That being said though, I find it hard to forgive what has happened to me (more than a couple of times) when I see that nothing has changed. And each time I hear of something new, it reignites that anger and realization.

I have heard that statement. Many times. Whether it be through religious guides or counselors (with the explanation that forgiving the person will help "me", but I just can't do it). I don't think any amount of "healing" will change that. I dealt with it differently, I suppose. When it first happened, I felt resentment over everyone treating me like a fragile doll...I didn't "feel" broken for a long long long time, but people would pity/coddle me and I didn't understand it.

Nowadays, if as an adult, I were to hear one of my loved ones as children had been harmed in such a way...I can assure you riight now, I'd be going to jail. Thankfully, two of my nieces have a fantastic mother who has raised them into their teens to be smart, strong, and G-d help anyone who would try to harm them in such a way. My nephew, knows better than to ever look down or feel above/below another woman. My new 1-year-old niece has parents who would defend her and knows they have an aunt who would take a bullet for her. My youngest niece, despite my severed relationship with her parents will always know that her aunt would protect her with her life to not have the same childhood her aunt and father did.

I've learned from my past even though I haven't necessarily forgiven those who created it. In some weird way, I might be even thankful for it, because it made me able to, and determined to protect my younger loved ones from enduring the same torture.

Even my friends know that I would stand in the way of someone who would wish to hurt them.

These days, my anger is my greatest strength, and it is fueled by the injustice done to those I love, or to those I feel the need to protect. including those I haven't met.

I don't think it's as simple as that, personally. In my personal belief/idea (though I know some others won't agree) I think there is something inherently "damaged" in people who see children in inappropriate ways. And furthermore, and regrettably, I don't think it is curable.

I don't think they're "born" with that "damage" though, no. I think in a more simplified explanation, I think that their attractions "stop" developing past a certain age. And while they can't "help" such attractions, such attractions are wrong and far too dangerous or imbalanced.

I say this as a childhood abuse survivor.

I recently got back into contact with the step-daughter of my first childhood abuser (yes, sadly, they were only the first) and my first best friend. She knows what happened to me, and we do NOT try to corroborate our stories - as she felt differently to her step-dad than I did/do (he died in 2014, and I'm not ashamed to say that I threw a party, happily announced it to the world, along with celebrated his death with my parents). She remained close with him, even after all the charges and conviction of his 19 known abuses. I do not feel angry at her for that, but I have told her that I found her post-death of her "brother"/friend, but that I would respect her feelings and not speak badly about him toward her. Just that I missed her, and that I was sorry for following events (her mother/the abusers wife, committed suicide only weeks after my police report)and that I still felt pain for her over it.

Perhaps he changed in 25+ years, I don't know. Or maybe he was never caught again. (It was only after my report that the other previous 18 victims came forward) But I doubt 3 months and 18 months of "community service" was a miracle fix for him. After all, one of his victims was severely developmentally unstable, and even after 25+ years, all including therapy, *I still haven't healed from it. But a magical 3 months imprisonment and 18 months of "good behavior" and he's all cured? Why didn't I get it that easy?

I'd rather not make it personal, however, because you had mentioned that this wasn't a post to speak of personal abuse - I was just using it as an example - yes, I think that it is "ingrained" in them in some way, but as children, it's SORT of "normal" (around a certain age), but if they still have that attraction even as they develop into adults? That's where they are broken.

It is almost as if they are attracted to a person who isn't yet wholly a full human being. One with self-awareness of what is attraction, rational attraction or attractive to themselves (ie; a 6-year-old, is not going to be sexually attracted to a person in their 60's).

While I do feel sorry for such..."people" (although, I'll admit I feel sour using that word myself as I do still hold fear of them and find them repulsive - but that is a personal issue), I also don't agree that it can be "fixed" or "cured" or rehabilitated...whatever the term may be. I think it will always be there, and I don't think that we will ever understand the true cause of it in our lifetimes. Or even our children's and grandchildren's lifetimes.

And among all this rambling (I'm very sorry, as this can sometimes be a bit of a "trigger" subject for me to ramble and speak out on) I have forgotten my conclusion, but I just wanted to giggle at this;

One of my social workers years ago (we're talking late 2006/eleven years ago who was supposed to be trying to "rehabilitate" me into returning to the workforce), questioned of why I was opting to return to school not "looking like a girl" when I spoke about my choice of new clothes for the beginning of the next school year and out-right asked if my choice of baggy clothes and "non-feminine" look was to seem "unappealing/attractive" to the opposite ***sex. We then also had a discussion of why I should wear skirts and make-up to an interview rather than just looking presentable and professional. Apparently to her, "professional" or "serious" meant make-up, fancy hair and high heels.

That wasn't my reason for choosing such attire for going back to school (an adult college which thankfully, uniforms are NOT a rule unlike public high schools). At the time, I just felt comfortable in baggy men's clothing or gender neutral looks. But apparently it meant that I must have been actively trying to "conceal" myself.

But really? Let's face it. "Female" clothes are uncomfortable as poop most of the time! They're not made for comfort, and their pocket space and functionality SUCK. So sue me, I love/loved baggy men's jeans, J-belts and t-shirts and jackets that were three sizes too big.

Nowadays, I have found a style that is still comfortable, but isn't so "thuggish" looking to authorities. Apparently if you dress a certain way, law enforcement or those who like to pretend/think they are, target you as a "danger". It's easier just to look like a a "female" who isn't going out clubbing."

Or it might just be because I'm almost 32 now, and modern hip hop culture is an embarrassment to those who remember its glory days and we don't wish to be associated with the crap it is today. Lol.

I do! Only because people seem to be confused/mortified when I type "G-d". blushes

I can't type/print G-d without censoring it...it is against my faith. However using my fandom inside joke of "Chuck" confuses people even more than "G-d" if they're not a Supernatural fan...

I remember on the old site being really frustrated that it censored the word "damn". Gosh, I hope that is fixed this time around. It's the mildest "non-swear word" I have, and replacing it with "darn" just made me feel silly!

Oh, and I'm extra extra thankful for the new edit button. (thanks Rockster!) I can fix my embarrassing typos! Whoo-hoo!

I definitely can relate to this one!

I think in recent years I've learned how to take pride in things I once thought were shameful or feared that would make be seem shameful to others. I probably shout my weirdness just a little more than I should though. Lol.

But I figure, if I'm worried and concerned that people should like me for me, why hide even the wackiest stuff about myself? At least I know the ones who stick around are the ones who see the real me, and don't mind it. :) So, I'm painfully honest these days, and I find myself not too concerned about rejection from others. Because I have people who know it all, and couldn't give a rat's patootie.

Heh. I figured out that trick back then, and yes, I used it to be stalkey with someone. However, they wouldn't always stay the same. They would change once in a while, (I think it was to do with an IP connection or something) but if you kept tabs on them, it wasn't hard to find their "new" icon. Lol.

My parents and I are close, but they're pretty much my only friends, too. At least, ones that I see more than once or twice a year. I don't make a plan to drink while they're visiting, they just sort of show up in the middle of it, or my mom and I get on Skype and we ramble on for hours and watch movies together.

Or, I'd try to combat my nerves by getting seriously drunk, which would result in me talking far too much and bursting into tears of "I love you, why won't you love me?!?"

And then I'd be reminded of why I shouldn't drink in front of anyone except for my parents, and my dog.