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Araz
last online: 12/14, 0:56
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Have you ever cut off a family member.

Essentially โ€œdisowningโ€ them? Or been cut off yourself?

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Since writing this post Araz may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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family, cut, member, essentially, disowning
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Lano
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1730122283" title="Oct 28, 2024 13:31">Oct 28, 2024 13:31</time>
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Not for me. I know that happened to a boy on our block when he came out. Also my dad sort of shunned a couple of his cousins for a few years but he got over it eventually and i think they're mostly good now.

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Yorick
Yorick
last online: 02/28, 23:53
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nay over here.. mostly distant relatives don't concern the nearby fam. but i wouldn't count that as cast out.

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Yah a couple times it never seems to work tho lol.

All jokes aside, I have a cousin that I knew when I was younger. He vanished though and no one will tell me where he is or what happened to him.

Except my mom after DEMANDING that she give an answer finally she said he is married somewhere and has a family.

Why won't they give me a number tho? I can't find anything about him on social media or white pages, or location services. No phone numbers no addresses. Haven't been able to get in touch with him for years.

I worry he's dead and they are just leaving me to wonder. Or in the case of my mom eventually lied to me just to get me to back off it.

So in a way that feels sort of cut off from a family member and kind of pisses me off a lot at the rest of my fam.

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verge
last online: 03/08, 18:09
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I haven't, but my uncle likes to cut people off. Sometimes I think it's really juvenile because it can be so easy to distance yourself without causing so much extra hurt and drama, like in my Uncle's case. I love him, but so far he has completely cut off his mother for not calling/caring/visiting enough, his brother for not agreeing with him, and he's on the edge with his sister also for a lack of contact. I think cutting contact is better way to hurt people than to actually ignore them and just not mention it. That's just in my extended family where people don't give a ****shit about each other. I can imagine in a really tight knit family where a horrible person is more up in your business, what the value of cutting contact would be.

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Jebus-Zeus
last online: 10/09, 19:48
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Well since my daughter started doing hard drugs again and moved out of state, I haven't spoken to her cuz she cut off all communications with everyone even her sister and that was 7 years ago.

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Cregyn
last online: 01/07, 18:55
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All of them, in my case.

For some people it is esential for healing to go 'no contact'. Look up 'cptsd healing/narcisistic abuse healing' etc.

If you have toxic, or abusive family, if your dad rapes you, if your mum spends all the money on her drugs, if your brother uses your identity for any scum he can do, for example.. I have read numerous horor stories on the support pages I'm in.

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DocteurRalph
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1729727397" title="Oct 23, 2024 23:49">Oct 23, 2024 23:49</time>
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My next door neighbor cut off all contacts with his elderly father. His dad was living with him and got a couple of credit cards in the son's name and maxed them out at $10,000 apiece. The next thing I knew he kicked his dad out and moved him into a hotel 100 miles away and that was the last we saw of him.... I didn't really blame the guy.

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BananaLlama
last online: 04/27, 9:23
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Yes.

My dad's family has cut off one of my dads cousins, she did something shady involving a will and cheating her siblings out of inheritance. I dont know the details, it happened 30 years or so ago, way before I remember or was aware of things.

Personally, I cut off my cousins, kinda long story but she asked me to pick the kids up from school and baby sit for a few hours several times. I didnt mind until the kids started having breakdowns thinking mum wasnt coming back for them, they were staying with me way past bedtime, when she was supposed to pick them up at 3.30pm. I found out she was cheating on her husband, he eventually found out.
I told her how the kids were really upset, then all when I was supposed to pick the kids up, hubby was there, they laughed it all off, made me look an idiot and we never spoke again.

About a year later, her sister who we were all good with, had a baby, saw the baby once after it was born, then she started to distance herself from us. Her sister was threatening her, and my grandma, with the old 'its me or them' crap. her sister chose her, my grandma chose us.

Havent spoken to either cousins since. And never want to, even though their trying to work them slimey way back in. Theyre older than me but incredibly immature! Not worth it.

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BananaLlama
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Oops

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Aria
last online: 03/16, 22:34
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Sadly, several.

My father being the most severe case. Abusive, narcissitic, toxic and just something I do not need, want, nor deserve in my life. If he wants to spend his life being a miserable c*nt, that's on him, and he did it to himself. The rest of his family has done away with him too. He's going to die very lonely.

An uncle - who basically cut off the rest of us for his toxic wife. And the fact that his father (my grandfather) has been struck down in recent years from lung cancer, dementia and parkinson's and he's done nothing to even try to be there as his father dies... his siblings aren't all that happy with him either. I've had to get to know my cousins via Facebook - I've never even met the youngest and she's almost an adult now.

A cousin... but that's a complicated and not really "permanent" thing. But our personalities do not mesh at all. He's an angry person to the point he's violent...and the views that we hold would probably get us into more fights every 20 minutes with each other than I can handle. He's an active meth addict on top of all of that, and I don't like that he's openly (and defensively) friends with one of my rapists. So...cut off he was.

The last one breaks my heart a bit actually. I had some struggles growing up and he was like a big brother to me. Especially since I was practically raised by his mum. But...struggles in his own life changed him significantly, and he let them rule his nasty behavior. I no longer feel safe around him, and so I keep him at a far far distance.

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