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It sounds silly.

My friend sent me a picture in which it showed his hand.

This has bothered me.
His hands look almost exactly like the hands of someone who hurt me. I remember this person's hands very well. I remember everything about his hands and what happened.

My friend is not a the person who hurt me.
But his hands are almost the same. And it's made me feel I dont like him as much. Because I'm associating his hands with something bad and I'm afraid of them.

I still love my friend
But having seen them is causing me problems
I keep seeing the bad thing that happened and the hands.

And now I cant get it out of my head.

I asked him to maybe cut his nails because I thought that would help me stop associating them with the event and maybe I'd stop being invaded by the memory but he said he didn't want to. And that's his right of course.

I dont like this about myself. But I cant stop thinking about his hands
And I cant stop seeing flash backs of what happened.
And I dont want to see either

He hasn't hurt me but there's a part of me that is thinking that those hands are bad.

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Helpbot
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Anonymous edited this post .

It sounds silly.¬ ¬ My friend sent me a picture in which it showed his hand.¬ ¬ This has bothered me.¬ His hands look almost exactly like the hands of someone who hurt me. I remember this person's hands very well. I remember everything about his hands and what happened.¬ ¬ My friend is not a the person who hurt me.¬ But his hands are almost the same. And it's made me feel I dont like him as much. Because I'm associating his hands with something bad and I'm afraid of them.¬ ¬ I still love my friendsfriend¬ But having seen them is causing me problems¬ I keep seeing the bad thing that happened and the hands.¬ ¬ And now I cant get it out of my head. ¬ ¬ I asked him to maybe cut his nails because I thought that would help me stop associating them with the event and maybe I'd stop being invaded by the memory but he said he didn't want to. And that's his right of course.¬ ¬ I dont like this about myself. But I cant stop thinking about his hands¬ And I cant stop seeing flash backs of what happened.¬ And I dont want to see either¬ ¬ He hasn't hurt me but there's a part of me that is thinking that those hands are bad.

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Thats understandable, you have a negative association with hands, and they generally look the more or less the same. What needs to be done is now pair a positive reinforcement with hands.

Play your favourite song, have your favourite scent and foods, and ask if you can touch his hands. run your fingers over them, play with them, etc. You will begin to disassociate hands with something bad happening.

Hands are not bad, the person who hurt you is.

Electric
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This may sound strage, but given some extra thought, I think you'll understand.
Here goes....
"No two people drive the same car in the same way."

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soco
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Delete the picture. No need to keep a reminder of a dark time in your past.

Help me with:

We have another hurricane coming this way.

1581744157174 1581744149313 miss bot
soco
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Oh... it is not silly. Not in the least.

Help me with:

We have another hurricane coming this way.

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I did delete the picture but it's in my mind now. Last night I had a nightmare about it.
And I know its cause I've been triggered.

I was hoping if he could change his hands
Maybe it would fix it..
Like. I'd have a different imagine in my head and maybe I'd stop going through this state where I keep remembering the bad thing. If that makes sense. I dunno how to break it.
I dont intend to think about it. It's like forced into my head.
Like that nightmare. I can't control it.
I know its cause of that picture

It's not his fault of course. I just sont know how to stop the episode(?) Of being triggered.

I was able to put it out of my head. It happened a year and a half ago. But once something like this happens. It's like a whole month of this before eventually my brain let's it go


A couple weeks ago I was watching family guy. And something on that show triggered a bad event memory though it was a different issue.
And once again my thoughts were invaded and my dreams.
I can be sitting happily doing something and BAM I'm hit with a flashback of it.
I wont even be thinking about it

It's just involuntary.
And I cant predict what will trigger me.

These were the first hands to bother me.
Most peoples hands are different.
But those hands were so similar
The fingernails in particular
I have a memory. So I just thought maybe if I can change what I saw. Then i can trick my brain into not being triggered?

I know this sounds crazy. :/

T7oab4
Kalinihta
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Living with a trauma is not going to be easy, at least the first years. But it gets better as the time goes by. Brain has an amazing way to make you forget. The tricky part is that you may start creating new images and think of them as real. For example, you might forget those hands but seeing another persons hands could make you believe they look the same, when in reality they don't. If you still remember the hands, try to remember the differences between those and your friends hands. Start observing carefully your friends hands and you'll realize they are not exactly the same.
You could ask again your friend to cut his nails in a different way, make sure he/she understands how important it is for you, a true friend wouldn't say no to this, but I'm suspecting it won't help much. As you said, you could be triggered by situations that are different than yours. At the end you'll learn how to live with that, by understanding that just because something looks similar doesn't mean it'll have the same outcome. Just be patient, it's still early. and try to not think of it, you'll start forgetting and eventually, you'll be rarely noticing similarities and they won't bother you.

Helpcomanimatedyetiwithdot256
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Anonymous wrote:
I was hoping if he could change his hands
Maybe it would fix it..
Like. I'd have a different imagine in my head and maybe I'd stop going through this state where I keep remembering the bad thing. If that makes sense. I dunno how to break it.

Would a different situation in which his hands partake, rather than a physical alteration, affect the mental image in any way?
Such as goofing off or some other humourous pose.

Help me with:

[quote]Test.[/quote]

Sherlock by olga tereshenko d9qdidc
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Hands, like scissors or knives or knitting needles, are as good or evil as the person to whom they are attached. While there are differences among people, to be sure, we all share a commonality of body parts: hands, feet, noses, eyes, ears--you get the picture. Interestingly enough, in 2016 in the USA, 374 people were killed by rifles--but 656 were killed by feet and hands--meaning that those 656 were either kicked, beaten or choked to death.

And you also have to realize that it is unfair and illogical to hold a real friend at arms length because he happens to possess the same body part as someone who hurt you. Imagine a man who nearly died from being poisoned by his wife . . . it would be unfair and illogical to avoid all women afterwards.

I suggest empowerment. You rather are reminded of how helpless you felt when you were hurt. Take self-defense courses. Consider learning the use of some kind of weapon. There are martial arts courses that will teach you to get out of choke holds and other bad situations. Your goal is to be prepared for any possible future attack--so that you leave your would-be attacker in a crumpled mess on the floor.

Once you no longer view yourself as a potential victim, but as the victor in any future bad encounter, you can let go of those irrational fears.

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I do not view myself as a victim.

Sherlock by olga tereshenko d9qdidc
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Anonymous wrote:
I do not view myself as a victim.

That is good. I have, myself, been victimized a number of times. I have tried to arm myself with the skills and knowledge to prevent it from happening again.

Bejbybird
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I can relate to you, as I suffer from trauma, and generally, have to avoid everything which reminds me of the traumatic event. I've been like this for over 20 years and it is destroying me. Have you had any therapy to overcome the traumatic event? Some people can release themselves just by talking about it to a trusted person. For some it is not enough to get rid off the nightmares. I wish I could make more suggestions. Hope you will find a positive solution and overcome the trauma. All the best.xx

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