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Nevermind
last online: 02/20, 6:06
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I'm scared!

This is about my cat Albert,
http://i67.tinypic.com/ny5hyr.jpg
Now the problem is Albert's breeder has gotten word that I am going to breed Albert.

She has seen my website which I posted on the same place persians are bought and sold.
Poked around my page and now seen Albert is a full grown Male
And so she called me.

She told me Albert's dad died, and she wanted to breed my cat Albert to one of her females. Not his mom, a different female.
She really wants to do this because she already knows Al and he is part of her line so she wants to breed a cat from her line.
She makes great points but she wants to take Albert for a couple weeks maybe even a couple months.
She'll come get him, pay all his expenses, pay half his stud fee then the rest when I pick him up.

She is a good breeder. But I'm afraid, I'm not afraid she'll treat him bad. I know she'll do good. But I'm afraid I won't get him back. She had a contract that my mom signed because I was under 18. The contract says he's my mom's cat not mine and that if mom isn't his owner she gets the cat back.
Now she knows the cat was always gonna be mine but a minor cant sign a contract. I paid for him. I paid all his vet bills, I continue to pay for all his needs. Should she decide she wants him to keep she may not give him back and use that excuse.

Also. I like Albert and want him in my care.
She has my address though as its on the contract and wants to come pick him up Wednesday.

I'm afraid she will come.

I cant make her as an enemy because she is one of my only competition.
She is one of my best competitors.
If she slanders my name or tells people I'm bad then all those people wont get a kitten from me.

If I can make her as an friend. It could be great.
She can buy kittens from me. Me from her. We can help each other and promote each other as good breeders.

I cant afford her as an enemy but I cant let her come get Albert.

I'm too afraid to just say no. When she knows I'm gonna breed gonna breed him to my cats.

So what's a good lie I can tell her that will sound true and wont make her my enemy?

I need an excuse for why I cant stud Albert to her and why she can't come Wednesday.
Please help.

Then there's the depressed side of me that says. You should let her have Albert. Hed be better off.
When I die he's going back to his breeder so why hesitate?
I don't want him to go back till I decide to die.

I wish I was assertive enough to say No.
But I'm not. I need an excuse. I am afraid. If she comes I will be too afraid not to give her the cat.
So she can't come.

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Since writing this post Nevermind may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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good, cat, afraid, breed, albert
Replies (31)
Helpbot
(0 minutes after post)

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Why do you think this would count as a breach of contract? You reside in your mother's house, after all - whether al's in your room or hers, I doubt a judge would beg to differ.

Aside from the legal aspect, do you trust this woman to hold up her end of the bargain? Do you suspect she'd be willing to do such a thing for profit?

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(27 minutes after post)
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I trust her but I also think she may keep albert

It isn't inconceivable, mayhap moreso if the father were her only male (though if she had the intent, telling you so is detrimental to the plan), but you should assess whether the risk has a realistic basis, or is amplified to such a level by fear - part of that has to do with knowing your adversary.
Being a breeder herself, she might be harmed by derogation as well. If she has the resources for legal confrontation and knows you don't, that puts you at a disadvantage.
It would be well to have someone familiar with US law & norms weigh in; though @Nix deals with dogs, perhaps she'll have an idea.

I don't think it would be prudent to attempt a lie just yet. As far as I'm aware you don't have a great deal of experience in the art of prevarication (though I might be mistaken), and are emotional; therefore it may be difficult to pull off a reasonable story.

You have at least a day. Stalling for a few more might be an option.

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๐•อคอญอฅฬ‡๐•–๐•ฅ๐•šใ€‚(Yeti.) invited 1 user .
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(1 hour after post)
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I don't want her to use him at all. He's my cat.

Happy earth
(1 hour after post)
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Tell her that you love your cat and can't bear to go weeks without him.

Edit: he's a beautiful cat and he looks friendly and cuddly. I wouldn't let someone take him away if he were mine.

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(1 hour after post)
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If I politely say
I trust you but I just cant go without him. I'd miss him too much. His company is worth more to me then money and I need him right now

Maybe she wont be offended or upset?
But what if she is?
I'm afraid
I gotta say something
I dunno what to say.

That is precisely what I was about to suggest. :)
(Save for the "right now" - more like "couldn't bear to part with him".)

In my experience, you have to be courteous yet firm in your stance, and show little interest in enticement (albeit not outright refusal to avoid insolence).

If you're giving her no reason to be upset, it ought to minimise the chance of that happening. She might be prone to irascibility regardless for not having her way, and that's when you cease placating and stand guard, physically; though it won't come to this point over a feline, methinks.

Since there's no real alternative (to going by your will), you don't have to hesitate.

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Electric
BA1
last online: 01/25, 20:20
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(2 hours after post)
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Offer to board her female until conception is certain.

12
(2 hours after post)
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are you over 18 now? if so make her sign a new contract...

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(6 hours after post)
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I've typed this up..
Does it work? I'm afraid to send it

"Hey Laura, it's Ashley. I just wanted to let you know I've thought about it and I just don't think I can do it right now.
Albert is my baby, and my Mom has alot of heart troubles. He really helps me get through these tough days with how sweet and funny he is and I'm just not ready to give him up for such a long time.
I'm not totally closing the door on you. I understand how important it is for you to have a piece of Albert's father but now just isnt the right time for me.
I really need him with me and have decided not to stud him out.
I hope to continue our friendship though."

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(6 hours after post)
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BIG-AL-ONE wrote:
Offer to board her female until conception is certain.

She won't go for it ๐Ÿ˜
Honestly I only want Albert to be bred to MY cats. But I always said I'd be open to Albert's breeder because she is good to her cats and takes proper care of them.
But I dont want him going anywhere and truthfully I dont really want anybody else to have his babies. I like to be in control of the situation. ๐Ÿ˜•

Happy earth
(6 hours after post)
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If you don't ever plan to let her breed him, you shouldn't lead her to believe that you will at a later time. That will continue to hang over you.

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(6 hours after post)
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I just don't want to make her angry

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(6 hours after post)
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She can always adopt one my his kittens from me.

Happy earth
(6 hours after post)
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Nevermind wrote:
I just don't want to make her angry

I would be more angry about waiting for something that will never happen than being told no outright. I can totally relate to wanting to avoid confrontation, but I think you're just going to have to do it. If she becomes angry, she will get over it.

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(6 hours after post)
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Well. I guess your right. I'm just so afraid of a negative response
I almost want to send it and shut my phone off and then hide afraid of her response

I just hope shes understanding. I only want him to father MY cats kittens
Hes not a stud for sale. Hes on the website so others potentially getting a kitten can see the father

1581744157174 1581744149313 miss bot
last online: 03/19, 3:49
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(8 hours after post)
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You have zero control how others will feel.

[Spoken from past experience...]

You wish to breed your own cats. Stick to the plan.

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(8 hours after post)
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Luckily she was really understanding. I told her I dont really wanna stud him to other breeders
And she said if that's my choice she respects that. She asked me to consider letting her take him for 2 and a half days. Just till Friday.
Just in hopes he will get her female pregnant so she can save a baby and use that baby to continue her line.
And I understand that as my grandmothers line was very important to her.
She told me to sleep on it and no pressure if o decide not to.
I feel much better that she is being understanding and wont ve mad if I say no.

Roccoflip
(8 hours after post)
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Great news. ๐Ÿ˜Š Glad it went so well!

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(8 hours after post)
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I wanna say Yes for her sake. If she is friendly and true to her word. Then I'll have no problem. I will be okay if he was gone a couple days. I've been gone from him longer thrn that

My fear is what if she doesnt return him or something.
And shes never been like that. It's just I dont wanna lose him for forever or a month time cause I was stupid and trusted someone with something so precious

I wanna say yes for her and no for me. So I don't know what I'll decide
I'm just so afraid.
If she is true to her word I dont have a problem
But I cant be sure of that

Roccoflip
(9 hours after post)
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Do you have any logical reason to expect her to not return Albert?

Those are the sort of persuasion techniques I was referring to.
I don't think her interest alone would suffice to justify risking what you hold most dear, or "heart" should we permit such a hackneyed term.
Over the course of your life, people have repeatedly betrayed your trust. I'd imagine such treatment leaves its mark. Breaching a circle of distrust may be a worthy cause. Notwithstanding, this is subjectively a high stake situation for trial, objectively perhaps a relatively rare opportunity. You have to be below a certain level of anxiety with your decision.

I don't suppose you'd be comfortable staying with her for those couple days, would you?

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Sherlock by olga tereshenko d9qdidc
(18 hours after post)
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I cannot imagine any basis she would have for trying to "catnap" Albert.

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(19 hours after post)
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None the less I typed up a legally binding contract.

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(19 hours after post)
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Yอคอญอฅฬ‡eti. wrote:
Those are the sort of persuasion techniques I was referring to.
I don't think her interest alone would suffice to justify risking what you hold most dear, or "heart" should we permit such a hackneyed term.
Over the course of your life, people have repeatedly betrayed your trust. I'd imagine such treatment leaves its mark. Breaching a circle of distrust may be a worthy cause. Notwithstanding, this is subjectively a high stake situation for trial, objectively perhaps a relatively rare opportunity. You have to be below a certain level of anxiety with your decision.

I don't suppose you'd be comfortable staying with her for those couple days, would you?

I will be anxious. But hopefully my leap of faith will not come back to hurt me

314sftf
Nix
last online: 11/28, 9:31
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(20 hours after post)
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Nothing beats a solid contract in these cases.

What is the original contract that your mum signed? Sometimes it will stipulate ********breeding rights of the animal, so I would take a look at that contract again.

Otherwise you can choose who you breed with. There shouldnt be a problem studding him out to anyone you choose, or just keep it with your cats.

The thing that I am worried about is your reason for ********breeding. There is no competition when ********breeding, it should be to further the health of the breed, including both physical and behavioural health. Not for profit. Vet bills can be very expensive when ********breeding animals.

Please please please choose carefully that cats that you breed with. You need a good temperament and excellent physical health. Check hereditary conditions of the breed and avoid ********breeding other cats that could be a health risk.

314sftf
Nix
last online: 11/28, 9:31
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(20 hours after post)
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Hmm... not sure why it starred out b r e e d i n g

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(21 hours after post)
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The other contract just says if the cat is ever not wanted and needing to be rehomed the breeder gets him back.
She didnt fo a good job on her contract. It's very amateur. Just some bullet pointed sentences.
My kitten contract is far more intense. 3 or 4 pages๐Ÿ˜
This contract is very simple. Basically it just describes the cat, what we are agreeing to and most importantly. When my cat is to be returned
As well as all her information and mine.

Her contract contains no limitations on ********breeding rights.


Trust me, I know what I'm doing and it's for the right reasons.
This isnt mu first rodeo. I was born into this and it's my passion.

314sftf
Nix
last online: 11/28, 9:31
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(21 hours after post)
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Thinking about it a little more, I think it would be a good opportunity for you t get involved in the process, allow her to breed with your cat, and ask if you could learn more about whelping and the appointments and care needed before ********breeding your own. That way you are friendly with her and get some experience.

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(1 day after post)
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Oh I know how to do all that. I've raised up babies before.
I've done this already. I just never allowed anyone to use my Male for a stud.

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