I haven't spoken to my father in over 10 years now, and that 10 years ago, was 10 years after I ran screaming from him. I completely understand the jealousy part. I have a wonderful stepdad now who I adore as much as he does me, but we have a different relationship, and our respect is much different to what the "typical" father/daughter relationship should be. He was a family friend long before he and my mother married when I was almost an adult. I met him years before my parents even split.

If OP lives on his own, then I definitely see no loss of cutting contact. Back in 2008, I met with my father only three times, and it was an emotional nightmare. I hadn't seen him before that since before I was even a teenager, and within one conversation, he had me agreeing to move to another state with him, and give him access to all my money in an account he would "look after". I was 22.

I got away as fast as I could. My brother, his first born from his first marriage, was contacted a couple of years ago when my niece was born and our father found out about it (how, I could only guess by looking up our profiles). I attempted to try and talk with him, maybe seeing if things could be mended, but all I got was a paragraph of him being angry that he was told he was too "toxic" for us. I never responded back, and put his number in my phone under "Satan" (ironic, considering I'm Jewish, and he's an atheist Jew, and blocked the nuber from ever contacting me, just in case he tried. That one paragraph, left my physically shaking and wanting to vomit.

I can't even stand being around anyone who has even a personality trait close to his. Worse still, anytime I notice that I do something, or reminds me that he's a DNA relative, I can get pretty suicidal. My therapist has told me that the fear of being a narcissist/psychopath or the like, and the violent self-guilt and hatred I get when I am terrified I am cause of a negative feeling in someone else, is proof that I'm not like him...but the aftermath of psychological abuse is so much harder to just "un-do". And it certainly won't be undone with a therapist saying one sentence.

I can say with brutal honesty, I constantly wait for the "next of kin" contact phone call to tell me he's dead. He cares for no one, not even those who think he is a friend to them...he somehow, will screw them over eventually once he is done getting all they will give him - unless they figure it out before he gets tired of them and moves onto another victim.

You are most welcome! I've certainly been down that road. Sadly, I've lost far too many close loved ones to suicide. Some of them, I have found myself going down that train of thought...and it's a nasty spiral to go down and pull myself out of it.

When I was 6, a friend of my mother, her husband sexually molested me - when I reported it, I was told afterward that she killed herself. I carried that blame ever since until just recently. Her daughter and I were best friends at the time, but we lost touch through the drama of it all, and I had to move to a different state. We recently got back in touch just over a year ago, and found out that it wasn't a simple suicide, and even if so, she never would have put that on me. Still though, I find myself putting it on myself still, and still feel that her death, in whichever way it happened, was somewhat on me for saying something in the first place.

There is still quite a lot about mental health that is still being done, and new understanding comes along with it all the time. Such as different ways of managing a personality disorder, behavioral therapies and trauma treatments. For some people, medication and therapy need to go hand-in-hand. Some people just might need therapy. But there is still a lot about mental health that is unknown, and it's not just simply a case hiding it with medication, or not wanting to lose profits.

For me, I need my medication. I'm someone who cannot function without it, but I also needed non-medication treatment such cognitive behavioral therapy. I was actually housebound... getting into a car would have me going hysterical and slamming windows. I was in a self-made prison for almost a decade before I got the help I needed. To the point, that last month, I shared a freakin' drink with Billy Zane in a crowded pub.

8 years ago, I would NOT have done that. I wouldn't have even been able to go to my local store for a carton of milk.

It's about finding the diagnosis, and what works to manage it, and also how to treat the individual. My serotonin levels are low, which causes my depression, my C-PTSD is well....from past trauma (of course...it's in the name. Lol) Both issues can be managed with my paroxetine, but, I also needed several types of therapy.

No, just throwing medication at someone with a diagnosis is not at all useful. Especially since each medication needs to be "right" for each person, and that can take dozens of tries with different combinations.

My cousin is having a hell of a time with her Bi-Polar and finding something to work. My mom has schizo-effective disorder (which is essentially Bi-Polar with Schizophrenic traits) , she was diagnosed at 19, and wasn't out of hospital for more than 3 months until 2003, when I was 17 and was aging out of my foster care guardianship. But the medication that finally got her well, and the therapy combined, isn't working for my cousin. And on top of that, my cousin is also battling with anorexia.

Also, a final note. It is called mental illness, because that is exactly what it is. It's a variation of illnesses that affect the brain and cognitive thinking. In the same way that you would call someone physically ill when it's not an issue with the brain. Then you have your neurotypical/atypical brain functions too, but that is a different area then mental as well. Though, I'm not too well versed in that kind, personally. Despite me currently waiting for an evaluation to see if I may be on the autism spectrum.

In some cases, biological fathers are overrated.

I'm sorry you had one of the shitty types. I know exactly how it feels. :(Only sadly, my dad did have high intelligence. Just not enough compassion and too much psychopathy to use it in a positive way.

Unknown numbers get sent to voicemail. If it's important they'll leave a message. If they don't well I'm still not going to answer their call.

A bunch of class bullies decided to stun a fly and put it in my lunchbox...I took it home with me and tried to take care of it by gifting it some sugar and safety. Sadly though, he died the next day and I buried him in a cup of dirt with a sunflower seed, trying to get it to grow for him. It never did, but the cup stayed on the porch for the rest of the time we lived there with him buried in it.

@Araz. Speaking as a person with mental illness, who has lost far too many close friends to suicide, please please, do not think that you are any way implicated.

Lots of us with mental health issues don't even seek help from those who support us when we are in that dark place. I lost a dear childhood and teenage friend of mine a few years back, she had been clean from addiction for several years. Her brother, was my first love so we were close friends through him (her brother and I are still friends, but we didn't work as a couple; he's gay). I knew her troubles with mental illness, and she knew of mine since we were in high school together.

I asked myself constantly, even knowing what I know, why didn't she come to me? Why didn't she reach out for help? Should I have kept a constant check on her to make sure she was okay? She moved to another state a few years before (where he addiction started), we hadn't seen each other in person for those years, and lost touch for about 4 years after. It was only after she was clean that I found out of her addiction.

But it didn't matter if we would have spoken, or whether I would have kept checking on her just "in case" she might have hit another depression cycle, or if your friend felt "believed". Even those who support, love and treat us well, can still sometimes not be enough.

Her illness was the cause of her feeling desperate enough to the point of her death. She was not in her right mind, and that isn't your fault, nor could you have done anything. She might have needed hospitalization and being detained and put on watch by medical teams - that wouldn't have been something you could have provided.

It's good that mental illness is becoming more of a talking point in society. It may have actually saved many lives. I know it has for me, and some of my closest friends. We "crazies" tend to stick together and help each other though. I probably have maybe one friend that doesn't have a mental illness, and that's just because we've known each other from high school classes. But my family, friends and family friend's have all got some form of diagnosis. Most of them are being managed, thankfully.

I spent years finding the thing that works for me. Even just 6 years ago, I was a totally different person who didn't have an ounce of self-esteem or awareness of any self-worth; I had been convinced since I was a child that I had no value at all, and anything I touched or was even at all near emotionally or physically, was poisoned by me. But I'm slowly learning the lies. Even friends who have known me long enough, still cannot believe how better "balanced" I've become. Though, I still have a lot of work to do yet, I'm better than I have ever been.

I don't drink with people, I drink alone and binge watch movies and shows on Netflix while I pretend someone is in the room to listen to me ramble and give loud commentary... Unless I ask my mom to Skype with me, but she doesn't drink, so it's probably us watching Supernatural and her telling me to shut up because I'm talking through it too much.

Or I spend my drunken nights flitting around on SecondLife, and flirting with a special someone through text.

So all up, not including the occasional Linden top up, maybe about $50.I'm a cheap drunk.

I think perhaps my meaning was misconstrued a bit. Heh. It's more that I meant that I've noticed that my opinions largely differ from others here, and some more political or opinionated topics tend to cause debate. I'm a very liberal person, the kind that would probably get called a "libtard" by some swarms of people. It also doesn't help that I'm a religious minority on here (and most places, really), so...yeah, some topics are a bit of a danger zone that would lead to some harsh debates and flared tempers, and it's never nice when that happens.

Mine certainly helped me. Between 2008 to 2013 I was severely agoraphobic. I couldn't even walk to the corner of my street. There were times I became hysterical in a short car ride and started punching at the doors and banging on the windows to turn around and take me home. I missed extremely important things in my life; the short life and funeral of my first and only nephew being one of the most soul-crushing. I had anxiety about everything from certain words, sounds, and even certain people. I was afraid of getting sick, because I knew I couldn't even make it to a doctor.

By 2014, I'd made a progress by myself, mainly because I was just fed up. And then in early 2015, I had a miscarriage after a planned pregnancy through a donor, and spiraled backwards, but then I also relapsed into a dark addiction I thought I'd beaten back in 2005. That relapse led to an overdose that almost killed me in 2016.

In March of 2016 though, I was put on paroxetine, and it's worked wonders for me (when I wasn't counteracting it with opiate addiction, it worked better) And I can't even recognize myself three years later. In a good way. I'm a lot more balanced, I can do things I haven't been able to do since my childhood anxiety and depression hit me. It also helps with my PTSD. Without it, I revert back to being a mess. I'm on it's highest dose, but with that comes a more happier me, and suicidal thoughts are almost none, when I used to have them every other day.

Some people can do it without the need for medication, some cannot even function without medication. My dad is on one of the highest doses of anti-psychotics and hasn't been unwell in over 20 years. My mom, who used to live at the hospital more than at home, has been on several medications for her schizoaffective disorder, and has been well and not been in hospital since 2003 now that they finally found the right combination that works for her.

My cousin was recently diagnosed with Bi-Polar about 4 years ago, and she is still finding difficulties, but she also has become a lot better since she's been getting treatment. If only there was a magic pill to fix her anorexia, though. :(

Sometimes, it can be trial and error. Sometimes, it's luck in finding the right thing that works the first time.

I wasn't talking about anyone in particular actually...

But yes, it was my way of saying that I don't wish to share my opinions on delicate topics anymore. But yes, some opinions that @BA1 has shared, are different to my own. It doesn't mean I am hateful of them as a person though.

But, from what I've observed lately, it just seems that some people's (and no, not just Slash's) way of dealing with differing opinions aren't "agree to disagree", it has come across as more "you mean less to me because we don't agree."

I'm a minority in most of my opinions and beliefs, and I am more of a "hide in the corner" type when I spot that.

It's self-preservation and paranoia, maybe. But I'd much rather state that I don't feel comfortable voicing my thoughts where I don't feel comfortable, rather than voicing those actual thoughts out-right, and then regretting it later.

It's taken me until this post to really even say anything; but that's probably because I've had a really shitty day and am in a period of mourning. My inhibitions are lowered a bit.