I once tried to be something that I couldn't handle but I gave it all up to keep on the struggle of this life. I could have had a lot more than I have now and maybe be living on easy street and somehow managed to mess it all up to stay on paycheck to paycheck life. Now, everyday is a struggle but I somehow seem to enjoy it. I love my job.

My condolences. I dodged that particular bullet and am content with my life as a rubbertramp. Funny thing is, I live under the poverty line, have lotsa cool toys, and have had people with full-time jerbs borrowing money from ME!

i was the weird kid that made life alot harder for myself without realising and screwed alot of things up until i realsied that i could be doing better things with myself. I got therapy and am now studying clinical psychology. though i still seem to make life hard for myself...but atleast now i can analyse as to why i do this to myself!

It undoubtedly says something about the human condition that 50% of marriages do not work out.

well no other species "marries" . some are monogamous (spelling?) but im sure if they found their partner cheating on them (for example) there would also be hell to pay! but they dont have the self awareness to be able to be such arsehole and so are content to be with their partner.

I fell head over heels in love. We were unofficially engaged. It didn't work out because she was forced to move across the country. She's now married to somebody else, and I've been with my current SO for 5 years. Marriage is probably in the near-future for us as well.

I make a habit of making drastic changes to my life/personality, despite being relatively stable and preferring things to remain the same.

I'm a contradiction to myself, and I always have been. 😄

I think I only attract a certain type of guy, the kind that doesn't think about marriage or life-long commitment. Probably because I'm a doormat-type of person. But my current boyfriend might be different. I guess I'll see. Time is the ultimate test.

Primarily, I'm committed to loving life. I'm also trying to get rich enough to take care of a family in case I want one because I'm madly in love.

Any chance you were amenhotep? I don't expect I'm right, just a shot in the dark. I really liked her.

My story is heading towards it's end.

You absolutely are required to invite all of us here to your pending nuptials; NO EXCUSES!

All of our lives have a trajectory that will eventually come to an end . . . but I am convinced that the end of life isn't the end of everything.

And I am also convinced that each and every one of us has a purpose.

That purpose may not manifest itself until certain things transpire.

We should not try to rush things.

I'm not sure what happens after the end of this life.
I think reincarnation could be a nice concept.
Anything based on how well you lived this life determining what happens in the next is worrying.

What happens in the next life will not be based on "merit."

It will be based on whether we have loved and allowed ourselves to be loved.

Ah I'm ******fucked then

Unless they're already shoveling dirt on top of your coffin, you've still got time to un**** yourself.

Be still. Allow yourself to be loved. Go forth into the world!

It won't be long until they are shovelling.

I don't know how to allow myself to be loved, and I've already put myself into isolation.

We sometimes build walls around ourselves, thinking to keep out dragons . . .

But the only things on the other side of the wall are bunny rabbits.

So we find we don't need so high and thick of a wall.

To have friends, be a friend. To be loved, love without constraints.

We were not meant to live alone. No man--or woman--is an island.

Go out. JOIN something. Did I ever tell you that baby boomers and Gen Xers and millennials almost NEVER join anything?

Our lives have been getting more and more solitary. But it doesn't have to be that way--and shouldn't be.

We can regain our sense of community. You can take a step to do that TODAY.

I had girlfriends .live in girlfriends since I was 16. My last one cured me of any desire to continue getting involved. I am most happy being single. It took a whole life to figure that out. Sorry for the lack of details but Its too personal. Amen to being single

Being single definitely has its perks...the freedom to be whoever you are without hesitation. To do whatever you want without thinking of how it affects someone else, only you. To enjoy the presence of who ever you want without limit.

I have been married for nearly 18 years. It's not a piece of cake and it hasn't always been happy.

He's my 2nd husband. I was married to my 1st for 3 years, but he was gay/bisexual and "still in the closet" while we were married.

I have never really been single. I've always had a serious boyfriend/marriage. I feel like I missed out by not having some fully single years....

I have been single quite a bit. I feel like it could go either way depending on your predisposition for depression, anxiety, optimism. I always felt more sad without someone to sleep next to at night.

But that's just how I feel 😅

im in that boat at the moment pepper! this is the first time i have ever been single for more than a few months. just been lond term boyfriends and then my recent hiccup. i dont really know what to do with myself and im not enjoying it as much as everyone else seems to!

i also suffer with mental health issues at especially over the christmas period its really played on my mind and been getting to me how lonely its making me feel. The cat doesnt quite provide the same support as a partner would! xD my family and friends say i should just enjoy it and chill out but its just so alien i dont really know how!

Christmas is hard on a lot of people. It's supposed to be a season of love and giving. But a lot of people are left out in the cold, literally.
I was reading about narcissistic parents on another blog, and how there would be one sibling who was treated completely different from the others--and that sibling's children would be treated differently than all the other sibling's children, i.e., one grandchild would get two presents and the others would get 20 - 30. One grown woman got a present of something like 20 empty paper rolls from her mother, while the other grown children received gifts of real value. Strange, indeed.

Cats can teach us a lot about living. Cats understand the difference between loneliness and solitude. And they know the importance of getting enough rest!

And it is better to be without a "partner" for a while than to be with the wrong partner. I would deduce that approximately 70% of people are not good "partner material," being either too selfish, too immature or possessed of some fatal character flaws, e.g., disloyalty, dishonesty, addiction, etc.

Again, the 50% divorce rate says a lot!

I feel like I was relentlessly pursued. I was too nice and would never say "back off," and would therefore end up in relationships. And once I was in the relationships, I would let the guys do things for me... so then I became sort of dependent in a way (??)

Anyway, I am older now, and I would really like to be alone for a while. NOT that I don't love my husb. Just that I have never "done that" before.

That aside, I am perfectly comfortable with myself. I have lots of things that I can do that occupy my time and energy. As long as I don't fall into a depression.

However, the sad part is that I feel like I might fall into a depression without the husb and kids who need me every day.

Soooo....like you, the mental health thing is an issue for me too

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. And it sounds like you have wonderful family and friends :)

I'm a firm believer in the power of Dog. Companionship & love without excessive demands, someone to care for who's honest in their reciprocation.

christmas is the time of year with the highest suicides and self harming rates which doesnt surprise me. if it haddnt been for cliche teenage testing that couldve been me but i know better and im far too logical to get myself into that state. joys of learning all the coping strategies when i had my therapy!

and my cats a lil weirdo, i love him all the world but hes no normal cat. but i love having him here because even if hes asleep in the other room it does just stop me from feeling completely alone :) if i call him or shake his treats i know he'll come running to me :3

and yeh theres alot of people who are bad partners but maybe thats just for me? i like to think im decent xD everyones always said ive treated my boyfriends like kings which ill take as a good thing. though being able to cook seems to be half the battle! hehe

i was the complete opposite, i wasnt chased or persued so as soon as someone actually took interest i jumped at it! ahh young innocent me...though actually i still find i do that as with the most recent one. in my mind im still the weird unattractive one which limits me in my efforts alot and i usually end up settling.

I think id be much more likely to slip back into a deep depression if i didnt have my cat to be looking after. the fact that someones depending on your makes a difference and isnt something i had before so i can tell hes making a diffference. i mean i feel myself teetering on the edge at the moment which is why im taking steps to avoid it and so glad this site is back in everyones lives! but i'll happily live for my kitty after all its me and him against the world!

EVERYONE suffers from mental health issues. Yes. EVERYONE is fighting a battle that no one else knows about. EVERYONE questions themselves, doubts themselves, and wonders if their life will really make a difference.

You are not unattractive or weird. And if you have a cat that validates you, then you have been validated, indeed!

Cats, by the way, understand a lot more than they're given credit for. They can sense our moods. They can read our minds to a great extent. They know when something is bothering us. They also have twice the neurons of dogs--so you can be sure that they are smarter.

Remember--we are ALL teetering.

My formula is rather simple. I do what I can do, and leave the rest up to the Creator. I cannot solve world hunger, or prevent climate change, or mend broken psyches all by myself . . . we ALL could if we put our minds to it, if we were not held back by our own human flaws.

This world COULD have been a paradise. It still could be. But humans have got to evolve beyond personalism, tribalism and nationalism . . . and really pull together.

For that to happen, however, we are going to need the help of a Higher Power.

I agree with sherlock. Everyone of us has mental health issues. And if you don't thats an issue in a league all of its own knowing how insane the world is around us . I would think you would have sociopathic tendencies but who am I to judge.

Remember the quote from Benedict Cumberbatch's Sherlock character:

"I'm not a psychopath--I am a high functioning sociopath!"

And my favourite:

"Just because I'm on the side of the angels doesn't mean I'm one of them!"

we do indeed all have mental health whether poor or good. its a spectrum. actually part of the workshops i run explains it really well but it wouldnt be easy to type out...
and if my cat does know when im in a bad mood he clearly doesnt care xD he usually just avoids me more than usual and sleeps on his chair. hes a little bugger but i love him.