HelpQA Tags Search FAQ
Start a New Post Chat Login & Registration
A754d2c9 e0e4 40c2 b524 4963ba66a565
morganthecarrot
last online: 12/07, 7:56
Verified User (6 years, 6 months)
Long Term User
Shoutout0

How to deal with bad anniversaries without spiraling into a depressive episode?

Three years ago today my ex boyfriend slapped my daughter across the face, shook her, and slammed her down on the floor. She was five weeks old. I left her home with him because i was upset and wanted to calm down so i took a walk. I was gone for maybe 20 minutes before i came back to her with a black eye, broken blood vessels in both eyes, and a finger print bruise on the side of her face. Two days later he was arrested. He went to prison for two years and spent the last year on parole, this weekend he and apparently my brother are celebrating his freedom. I am having a very hard time not blaming myself and functioning normally. I need to snap out of it. Please send ideas

This open post was written |
Views: 79, Subscribers: 11 |
Leave a reply | Report Post

⇩ Zoom to bottom
Reciprocity (0)
Reciprocity
Since writing this post morganthecarrot may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
Post Tags (5)
years, ideas, face, send, snap
Replies (12)
Happy earth
smiley
last online: 11/26, 18:47
Verified User (6 years, 8 months)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(41 minutes after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

That's awful. I'm glad he was arrested and served time, but it should have been more time.

Surround yourself with positive people. Relocate away from all these things that trigger bad memories if you need to.

314sftf
Nix
last online: 11/28, 9:31
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(4 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Wow. That’s absolutely horrendous. Why is your bro supporting him?

It’s not your fault. Stop blaming yourself. Spend the anniversary loving your daughter and being thankful for everyday with her

Dr. ralph club zps9ornptsl
DocteurRalph
last online: 10/23, 23:49
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(1 day after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Is it his daughter? Were you two fighting before you left him alone with the baby and he took it out on her? If I were you I'd be checking the locks on my doors and windows and changing any locks that he might have a key to.

Help me with:

I need help.

Sherlock by olga tereshenko d9qdidc
Sherlock
last online: 07/08, 10:43
Verified User (7 years, 3 weeks)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(1 day after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Sorry, but your brother is as much of a douchebag as your ex-boyfriend. Let your bro know in no uncertain terms that if he wants to be buddies with the guy who harmed his niece, you will no longer consider him a family member. Don't back down!

Favidbowiepic
Aria
last online: 03/16, 22:34
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(2 days after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Holy ****shit. If I were you, I'd cut the brother out of your life for supporting such a piece of ****shit.

Do not blame yourself. You didn't know what kind of a monster your boyfriend was and from the looks of your avatar photo, your daughter is loved and very very happy with you.

As for bad anniversaries - I cannot help you with that. My bad anniversaries are usually close deaths - and I deal with those by drinking. A lot. I don't recommend that coping mechanism when you have your daughter to look after.

Don't worry about what your shithead brother and that child abuser are doing - focus on you and your family. That is what matters right now. Don't engage in their "celebration", and wash your hands of the both of them would be my ultimate suggestion.

Sheesh, and I thought my own family were ******fucked in standing by douchebags... at least it wasn't someone who attacked my own child, though. I would be the one going to jail for homicide, I think...

A754d2c9 e0e4 40c2 b524 4963ba66a565
Original Poster
morganthecarrot
last online: 12/07, 7:56
Verified User (6 years, 6 months)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(3 days after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Thank you all very much. It was a hard few days but i think im mostly through the worst of it. Im trying to just focus on my daughter as she is instead of what happened

1581744157174 1581744149313 miss bot
soco
last online: 03/19, 3:49
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(4 days after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Pardon my language, but holy ****shit!

Help me with:

We have another hurricane coming this way.

Animation2 2
PepperJ
last online: 04/30, 3:52
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(4 days after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

What he did is in NO WAY your fault. HE abused your daughter; you didn't.

I'm really sorry that all of that happened to you; it must have been hard. I hope your daughter was able to heal fully.

Animation2 2
PepperJ
last online: 04/30, 3:52
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(4 days after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Oh...and for dealing with the anniversary date....

Look at your daughter and love her; she's a reason to CELEBRATE the day instead of dread it.

And, btw, your brother is awful

Img 2679
verge
last online: 03/08, 18:09
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(6 days after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Hello, I am really sorry to hear all of that considering how you have always been so obviously kind and undeserving of any and all badness. I remember you being so nice that it was pretty hard to read, but to answer your question!!! Even if it's passed, I find the best way to get out of a really bad place or mindset is deliberately do something good for yourself. Exercise works best for me bar nothing, but having a bath and painting your nails or drawing a picture or telling someone to hug you can all help. Make an effort to be nice to yourself.

Sherlock by olga tereshenko d9qdidc
Sherlock
last online: 07/08, 10:43
Verified User (7 years, 3 weeks)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(6 days after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Get toxic/evil/a-hole people out of your life. That includes a brother who is a clueless idiot. As long as you allow such people into your personal life, you will suffer.

8c4b2750 eacb 4bb1 8471 bb64a37cbd76
~CaitherrA~
last online: 12/27, 3:55
Verified User (6 years, 8 months)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(1 week after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Forget the anniversaries! Don’t write down the date. Don’t think about the date. Treat it like every other day. Don’t give the demons the feast of misery they want.

Help me with:

Hello everyone!

A
⇧ Zoom to top

Help-QA supports basic Markdown, emoji 😁, and tagging friends with @username!

To use this site you must be 13 years or older and occasionally submit your email address. Your email address is only shared with your explicit permission.

Home Page - Privacy Policy - Terms of Service - Feedback