Still doin stuff for starbyface

Caroline, 27, former regular 14-15 years ago. Work, family, and writing keep me busy, but I like to poke my head back in here now and then for nostalgia's sake.

Where did you grow up?


Where do you live now?


What is the highest level of education you have attained?

Bachelor's Degree in Communication Studies

What subjects did/do you enjoy most at school?

Greek Mythology
Web Design
Creative Writing
Computer in Business
Health Comm
Feminist Rhetoric

What kind of jobs have you held? Industries too!

Insurance processor
Accounting Assistant

What hobbies are you into?

Reading, writing, drawing, video editing, traveling, binge-watching shows with the family.

What causes are you concerned about today?

Civil rights, reproductive rights, gun violence, feminism, paternal rights, BLM.

Which religion (if any) do you follow?


CarolineFCY has 4 friends. Here are 4 of them.
Lonely soul
Happy earth
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What do I do to survive the three weeks until my gastro appointment (optional: what's wrong with me)

written () ago

Situation from the beginning:

Gift card guilt.

written () ago

So a couple of weeks ago, I went to a certain healthy grocery store to get my brother a gift card for his birthday. The gift card I picked out from the little kiosk had a hole punched in it (like the ones behind it, so it could be hung up). Problem was, the hole was punched through the little black scanny bar. I thought that was weird, but went to purchase it anyway. Of course, we ran into some issues with the hole-punched card so we ended up getting an intact one, but this all led to my credit...

Do you have any recommendations for good anti-anxiety medication?

written () ago

As I've learned (or been repeatedly assured), my breathing troubles, fatigue, headaches, food aversion, waking up at night, dizziness, brain fog, lack of focus, chest and back pains, are all due to generalized anxiety and/or panic disorder.

I can't bring myself to eat.

written () ago

This entire year, I've been having health and anxiety troubles. January, my throat felt too constricted to eat. February through March, anemia and gastritis and silent reflux. These past few days I can barely eat anything without feeling awful. Like it's not going to go down or it's not going to stay there. I'm nauseated because I'm hungry, then I'm nauseated because I ate.

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CarolineFCY's Top (5) Replies by other users' votes
Suggest an avatar for me?

It's surprising how elusive the specific "smiley space" aesthetic is!

I noticed Earth and Jupiter are your favorite planets, so I checked "jupiter smiley face" and "planet earth smiley face aesthetic." They might not be your style but these made me smile (rhyme initially averted, but inevitable) --

There's more out there, I'm sure!

- written - voted for by tricky, smiley

Hey, I want to start out with -- oh my gosh, good on you for taking that chance and driving! That is super brave, imo. I'm so directionally skewed, I don't know if I could drive on an unfamiliar road for that long unless it was a straight shoot. Or I had a printed Google maps or sketch or written out directions in a notebook on my passenger seat. To know that you had a good time, had your dog with you, and found your way home easily -- my gosh, that's inspiring. I'm secondhand happy.

I do want to say that, even though I don't know your parents or the relationship you have with them, it probably would've been worth it to.. at least not lie, I guess? If they asked you where you were going, maybe you could've even said, "Just out for a bit" or "Gotta conquer my road anxiety" or "Gonna go get stuff done" in a proactive or cheery voice. I don't know if they would've grilled you for that -- but it's good to at least test the waters and find out if that flies with them.

On the other hand, he absolutely shouldn't have just focused on the lie bit. Couldn't he have paused his rant to congratulate you for your big step? He ought to self-reflect for a bit and think about why you'd feel like you have to lie to him. But seriously! Good constructive criticism should often be sandwiched between two positive things. He went about that all wrong. I'm sorry your progress was so glossed over.

- written - voted for by Max
Best place to donate clothing?

Hey, yeah! Church is a good spot. My mom donates to Salvation Army, but ahh, I've heard stories.

I'm also seeing suggestions for women's shelters, homeless shelters, crisis centers, local thrift shops, and possibly daycares and community theatre groups. Is freecycle an option?

- written - voted for by Kalinihta
Itโ€™s been a long time but itโ€™s nice to see that some people came back.

I hear you. Posting a bunch of encouragement on an anxiety forum helped me into a good mood after a panic attack/good cry a few hours ago. It's amazing what you'll say to a good friend (or a stranger you treat like a good friend) but you would never think to say to yourself.

- written - voted for by soco
I wish people would stop looking at me.

I hate it too. The feeling of even one pair of eyes on you is too powerful, let alone a classroom or a world full of them. I remember walking into a math class in high school and getting a lot of stares. My anxiety said "they're staring because you're in the wrong room." Nope, people just react to stimulus.

Humans are always looking somewhere. Maybe straight ahead, and you pass their path. Maybe at their favorite color, and you're wearing a dark green hoodie. Maybe at a sound or vibration, and you just tripped over the sidewalk. With anxiety, that's going to stick with you for a little while. But probably not with the witness. And even if it does, you probably won't see them again. They're already out of your life.

Actually... if you can't brush them aside or put them in the background? Humanize them. They've cried (maybe in public), farted in class, or worn their shirt backwards or inside out. They can't judge you in good conscience.

- written - voted for by smiley
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My sister-in-law passed away early this morning.

Sending many condolences, thoughts, and prayers your family's way. To lose a sister... Your wife may need something solid, stable, and familiar. Somewhere to breathe and cry. And as little added stress as possible.

Let her know you're here if she ever needs a therapeutic talk. Some of my most helpful family memories are long reflective talks on top of the stairs or outside on a summer night. Peace and company do wonders. Maybe a good laugh too, when/if appropriate.

- written
Post closed, thank you for your help

DocteurRalph wrote:
I went to two schools, one was k-6 and the second was 7-12.. the 7th and 8th graders were upstairs away from the older kids at the second school and ate lunch at a separate time and everything. They did a good job of keeping 18 year old boys away from 12 year old girls. But yeah it was a junior and senior high school and the junior high school was the upstairs part for 7th and 8th grade. I always considered that there were 4 years of high school. Freshman, sophomore, junior, senior... your husband's wrong but you already knew that. ha ha ha

He does have a valid point though. In the nearest real city to where I grew up they had "middle schools" that were 7th 8th and 9th, and the two high schools only had sophomores, juniors, and seniors... so it was kind of like that in my city too.

Yeah, in my town, elementary school was k-4. Intermediate school was 5-6, middle school 7-8, there was a freshman campus for 9th grade, and then a big campus for 10-12th graders. Grades and buildings are organized differently in different towns -- but when it comes down to it, freshman is always the first of four years of something.

I mean, hey, does he think freshmen in college aren't college students?

- written
What do I do to survive the three weeks until my gastro appointment (optional: what's wrong with me)

Thanks so much, I'll do that. Iron supplements can irritate ulcers and stomach acid so I'm not looking forward to its effect on acid reflux, but maybe I can pick up some Slow-Fe this afternoon. Definitely intend on ordering an esophagram (despite reports of its disgusting taste๐Ÿ˜ท) so I can get that done if needed after the ENT visit.

Can't wait for 2018 to not be painful!

- written
What do I do to survive the three weeks until my gastro appointment (optional: what's wrong with me)

Hey, thanks for asking!

Pro: He said he didn't think there was anything too bad going on.

Cons: He suggested and scheduled an upper GI endoscopy but my mom and sister encouraged me to cancel it because it was expensive. He also suggested a barium swallow but we still haven't done that. I did get a blood test and my hemoglobin is 11.3 with a ferritin level of 4.1 (acceptable range is 4.6-204.0) so I'm a little nervous about that. Especially since I'm still dealing with some dysphagia.

But! I am going back to the ENT on the 21st, hopefully for a laryngoscopy. Which would hopefully prove to the "it's just anxiety" crowd that it's not just anxiety.

Still pretty dizzy though. Hope ferritin levels don't usually deplete super fast.

- written

Speak for yourself! ๐Ÿ˜ท

In all seriousness, my sister and her boyfriend have recommended Zyrtec and Claritin to me before. Not sure about home remedies, though. Google's suggesting apple cider vinegar (??? for heartburn sure, but allergies?), neti pot treatment, and eucalyptus oil. I might actually recommend eucalyptus lozenges.

In fact, I might give them a shot as well. Never really dealt with seasonal allergies until this year and let's just say it's not a welcome change!

- written
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