4be8c2d8 78e3 4f52 8977 21b6cc47a3ee
Araz
last online: 12/14, 0:56
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0

Should I stay or should I go?

I’ve been working at my current position for almost a year now. When they hired me, I had no experience in that field at all so they offered a salary lower than what I asked for, but I took it.

I absolutely love every single person I work with. My boss is strict but fantastic. My coworkers work very hard. Our office is very busy and there’s never any downtime, no drama, just everyone working together and working hard. In fact, everyone has been there for 10-30 years each. They’re really big on loyalty.

A few months ago, every single person in our office, owner included, took a massive pay cut. It turns out that the office is hurting for money. The owner has been working overtime to get new business so we can overcome the deficit and get back to normal.

Then one of the employees had to quit to take care of her sick husband. Then another employee put in her notice so she can commit fully to school. So they moved me to a different position, which I always wanted.

BUT I’m still not making enough. I could be making more elsewhere. I really need to make more $. We’re struggling financially at this point. But I know how bad it would be for them if I left. Honestly I also feel indebted to them. And... here’s the kicker - I actually enjoy going into work every day. It goes by so fast and I constantly get new “puzzles” to solve.

I would feel guilty if I left when they’re so screwed and I feel upset staying because I know I should be making substantially more and I’m stressing out to the max over this. I’m genuinely at a loss of what I should do.

Any advice?

This closed post was written |
Views: 96, Subscribers: 11 |
Leave a reply | Report Post

⇩ Zoom to bottom
Reciprocity (0)
Reciprocity
Since writing this post Araz may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
Post Tags (5)
feel, work, working, making, office
Replies (45)
Helpbot
(0 minutes after post)

If you are contemplating suicide, hurting yourself, or you are seriously depressed: please, seek professional help!

Call this hotline (1-800-273-8255) operated by our friends at the Suicide Prevention Lifeline, anytime, for free, professional, and confidential assistance. While other Helpers are likely to reply to your post, please make sure you understand that your use of Help-QA.com falls under our TOS.

Note: I'm a robot that the Help-QA creators programmed. If this response is in error, I apologize, please ignore it.

Yorick
(20 minutes after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

not necessarily revealing alot ( or if ya wanna ), what kind of company is this?

I sorta have this loyalty issue as well. i wish i could scrap every job whenever i thought i was worth more. the job before the one i have now, i stuck with em on this sinking business in a bad economy - till they layed me off in some attempt to recreate their business venture.. couple yrs passed and learned that they closed down.

i feel ya araz. i just have my own reasons to stick with the job i have.. loyalty is one of em.

Roccoflip
(44 minutes after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

I was in a surprisingly similar situation just a couple of months ago.

I totally understand the loyalty thing.

However, more importantly than loyalty is happiness. At least in my opinion, enjoying your job is far more important than money... Obviously- that’s only to a certain degree. You need money to survive.

If you really can’t afford to stay, and you know the company cannot afford to pay you more, there isn’t much of a choice there.

If the company has any sort of respect towards you- they’d tell you: do what’s best for you. Make the decision out of YOUR best interest. The company will figure itself out.

——

My advice? Put in some applications. Do some interviews. Look around. If you find a job you can’t turn down- take it. But job searching takes time, so it’s not like you’re leaving tomorrow. And you ALWAYS have the freedom to choose whether or not you take the job.
At the very least- that will give you some feelers on how long it will take you to find a job, about how much you’ll be able to make at these other companies, etc. Also, you’ll be able to get a feel for how much you like these other places and decide whether you’ll fit. Plus getting experience interviewing is ALWAYS good because interviews suck.

Yorick
(2 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Rockster160 wrote:
I was in a surprisingly similar situation just a couple of months ago.

I totally understand the loyalty thing.

However, more importantly than loyalty is happiness. At least in my opinion, enjoying your job is far more important than money... Obviously- that’s only to a certain degree. You need money to survive.

If you really can’t afford to stay, and you know the company cannot afford to pay you more, there isn’t much of a choice there.

If the company has any sort of respect towards you- they’d tell you: do what’s best for you. Make the decision out of YOUR best interest. The company will figure itself out.

——

My advice? Put in some applications. Do some interviews. Look around. If you find a job you can’t turn down- take it. But job searching takes time, so it’s not like you’re leaving tomorrow. And you ALWAYS have the freedom to choose whether or not you take the job.
At the very least- that will give you some feelers on how long it will take you to find a job, about how much you’ll be able to make at these other companies, etc. Also, you’ll be able to get a feel for how much you like these other places and decide whether you’ll fit. Plus getting experience interviewing is ALWAYS good because interviews suck.

rocky, i dont think she wants the canned bs about the job hunt. its a dig here.

Electric
BA1
last online: 01/25, 20:20
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(4 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

1. A good thing never lasts.
2. If you don't want to look like a ribcage, you go where the money's at.
3. You gotta do what you gotta do - who other than you will pay the consequences if you ignore the signs.
4. It's time to go.

Fb img 1591105178602
(9 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Your first loyalties need to be to yourself and your family. ...Don't play the counter-offer game. (No one ever wins.) Once you make up your mind to go, you need to just do it! If they offered you more $ to stay after you've said you're leaving, you should wonder why they didn't make that gesture sooner. Either way, good luck! Go boldly into the world, and be your best at whatever you do (wherever you do it)...and you'll always be able to sleep at night!

4be8c2d8 78e3 4f52 8977 21b6cc47a3ee
last online: 12/14, 0:56
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(10 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Yorick wrote:
not necessarily revealing alot ( or if ya wanna ), what kind of company is this?

I sorta have this loyalty issue as well. i wish i could scrap every job whenever i thought i was worth more. the job before the one i have now, i stuck with em on this sinking business in a bad economy - till they layed me off in some attempt to recreate their business venture.. couple yrs passed and learned that they closed down.

i feel ya araz. i just have my own reasons to stick with the job i have.. loyalty is one of em.

It’s good to know that I’m not the only person struggling with this.

4be8c2d8 78e3 4f52 8977 21b6cc47a3ee
last online: 12/14, 0:56
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(10 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Rockster160 wrote:
I was in a surprisingly similar situation just a couple of months ago.

I totally understand the loyalty thing.

However, more importantly than loyalty is happiness. At least in my opinion, enjoying your job is far more important than money... Obviously- that’s only to a certain degree. You need money to survive.

If you really can’t afford to stay, and you know the company cannot afford to pay you more, there isn’t much of a choice there.

If the company has any sort of respect towards you- they’d tell you: do what’s best for you. Make the decision out of YOUR best interest. The company will figure itself out.

——

My advice? Put in some applications. Do some interviews. Look around. If you find a job you can’t turn down- take it. But job searching takes time, so it’s not like you’re leaving tomorrow. And you ALWAYS have the freedom to choose whether or not you take the job.
At the very least- that will give you some feelers on how long it will take you to find a job, about how much you’ll be able to make at these other companies, etc. Also, you’ll be able to get a feel for how much you like these other places and decide whether you’ll fit. Plus getting experience interviewing is ALWAYS good because interviews suck.

Thank you, I think this is something I can handle doing without feeling too guilty. I could definitely get a better feel for other firms.

20181121 142229
(10 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

If they needed to let you go, they most probably would.. With companies it is usually just a one way loyalty, sadly. I worked in a place where I felt I was useless - I didn't have enough work, yet they kept me; and from another department they let go a woman who worked for them for decades! I was furious.. and that was the reason I left. I loved the job while I had the work, but when I just sat there doing nothing watching others being made redundant, I couldn't stay..

Anyway, I agree with Rockster, and wish you all the best getting new interviews and deciding with your next step.

4be8c2d8 78e3 4f52 8977 21b6cc47a3ee
last online: 12/14, 0:56
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(10 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Yorick wrote:
rocky, i dont think she wants the canned bs about the job hunt. its a dig here.

I definitely didn’t want the advice but I really needed to hear it.

4be8c2d8 78e3 4f52 8977 21b6cc47a3ee
last online: 12/14, 0:56
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(10 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Slash wrote:
1. A good thing never lasts.
2. If you don't want to look like a ribcage, you go where the money's at.
3. You gotta do what you gotta do - who other than you will pay the consequences if you ignore the signs.
4. It's time to go.

You’re right 🙁 I don’t have to like that you are right, though? Lol

4be8c2d8 78e3 4f52 8977 21b6cc47a3ee
last online: 12/14, 0:56
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(10 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

jj01 wrote:
Your first loyalties need to be to yourself and your family. ...Don't play the counter-offer game. (No one ever wins.) Once you make up your mind to go, you need to just do it! If they offered you more $ to stay after you've said you're leaving, you should wonder why they didn't make that gesture sooner. Either way, good luck! Go boldly into the world, and be your best at whatever you do (wherever you do it)...and you'll always be able to sleep at night!

How did you know I briefly considered countering? You’re right about all of this as well.

4be8c2d8 78e3 4f52 8977 21b6cc47a3ee
last online: 12/14, 0:56
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(10 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

peter wrote:
If they needed to let you go, they most probably would.. With companies it is usually just a one way loyalty, sadly. I worked in a place where I felt I was useless - I didn't have enough work, yet they kept me; and from another department they let go a woman who worked for them for decades! I was furious.. and that was the reason I left. I loved the job while I had the work, but when I just sat there doing nothing watching others being made redundant, I couldn't stay..

Anyway, I agree with Rockster, and wish you all the best getting new interviews and deciding with your next step.

I know that one way loyalty tends to be a thing that happens 🙁 Thanks for the advice!

Fb img 1591105178602
(10 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Araz wrote:

How did you know I briefly considered countering? You’re right about all of this as well.

I was a TP recruiter in my last life! ;-)

4be8c2d8 78e3 4f52 8977 21b6cc47a3ee
last online: 12/14, 0:56
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(10 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Overall consensus is to leave. I honestly probably would’ve given this advice to someone else. Great example of me needing to hear it from all of you and still internally struggling with it. I’m going to take it slow like @Rockster160 advised but it’s time to start the job hunt.

4be8c2d8 78e3 4f52 8977 21b6cc47a3ee
last online: 12/14, 0:56
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(10 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

jj01 wrote:
I was a TP recruiter in my last life! ;-)

Lol!

Fb img 1591105178602
(10 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Araz wrote:
...it’s time to start the job hunt.

Don't tell any of your coworkers you're interviewing elsewhere! Word gets around an office as quick as mud slides downhill, and if your employer knows you're looking, they could see that as disloyalty... Same results as accepting a counter-offer. :-/

4be8c2d8 78e3 4f52 8977 21b6cc47a3ee
last online: 12/14, 0:56
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(10 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

jj01 wrote:

Araz wrote:
...it’s time to start the job hunt.

Don't tell any of your coworkers you're interviewing elsewhere! Word gets around an office as quick as mud slides downhill, and if your employer knows you're looking, they could see that as disloyalty... Same results as accepting a counter-offer. :-/

I definitely will not do this!!!

Fb img 1591105178602
(10 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Araz wrote:

jj01 wrote:
I was a TP recruiter in my last life! ;-)

Lol!

No, seriously! I was recruiting for 20 years before the internet was invented! :-)

4be8c2d8 78e3 4f52 8977 21b6cc47a3ee
last online: 12/14, 0:56
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(10 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

jj01 wrote:

Araz wrote:

jj01 wrote:
I was a TP recruiter in my last life! ;-)

Lol!

No, seriously! I was recruiting for 20 years before the internet was invented! :-)

Oh that’s awesome! Any advice for interviewing? I get so nervous.

Fb img 1591105178602
(10 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Araz wrote:

jj01 wrote:

Araz wrote:


[quote from jj01]

Lol!

No, seriously! I was recruiting for 20 years before the internet was invented! :-)

Oh that’s awesome! Any advice for interviewing? I get so nervous.

Keep answers short, sweet, and succinct! Don't ramble, and save your questions for them until they're done asking theirs. Also, never say anything negative about current or past employers. It'll leave them wondering what you'd say about them to future employers.

You got this!

4be8c2d8 78e3 4f52 8977 21b6cc47a3ee
last online: 12/14, 0:56
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(10 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Thank you! So when people ask ‘why are you leaving’ I shouldn’t say ‘money’? Lol. Or maybe some bs ‘for personal growth’ response 😪

Fb img 1591105178602
(10 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Araz wrote:
Thank you! So when people ask ‘why are you leaving’ I shouldn’t say ‘money’? Lol. Or maybe some bs ‘for personal growth’ response 😪

"I've gone as far as I can where I am."

Fb img 1591105178602
(10 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

I'm traveling today, but will check in later, if you have more questions for me. :-)

Happy earth
(11 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Enjoying your work and liking the people you work with is very rare. If it's possible, stay where you are, but talk with your boss about your needs. Employment is not enslavement - you have control over the relationship just as much as the boss does. If you stay on thorough the difficult time, you're due a big raise and promotion when the company is through it.

4be8c2d8 78e3 4f52 8977 21b6cc47a3ee
last online: 12/14, 0:56
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(22 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

jj01 wrote:

Araz wrote:
Thank you! So when people ask ‘why are you leaving’ I shouldn’t say ‘money’? Lol. Or maybe some bs ‘for personal growth’ response 😪

"I've gone as far as I can where I am."

jj01 wrote:
I'm traveling today, but will check in later, if you have more questions for me. :-)

Perfect! What about when they ask for my current salary? How do I answer that when I should be making double what I’m making right now?

PS Thank you so much

4be8c2d8 78e3 4f52 8977 21b6cc47a3ee
last online: 12/14, 0:56
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(22 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

smiley wrote:
Enjoying your work and liking the people you work with is very rare. If it's possible, stay where you are, but talk with your boss about your needs. Employment is not enslavement - you have control over the relationship just as much as the boss does. If you stay on thorough the difficult time, you're due a big raise and promotion when the company is through it.

That’s true too. Even with the raise and/or promotion, I wouldn’t be making as much as the job market dictates. I really do want to stay, though. But I just don’t see how I can afford to. One of my coworkers told me this happened once about 10 years ago and they didn’t get a raise, they just got back up to their original salaries incrementally over more than a year 😰

Yorick
(22 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

i wonder if i made twice what i make now, would my troubles be over? or will i just buy my way into a life needing more? lol.

i'm trying real hard to be a minimalist. :D

Fb img 1591105178602
(1 day after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

"Believe it or not, I make less than $__,000 a year!" (Fill in the blank with what the going annual pay is for what you do.)

Helpcomanimatedyetiwithdot256
(1 day after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

You've worked several stressful jobs in the past, one of them as an accountant I believe. If it's somewhat above minimum, I don't quite understand wherefore you'd be haemorrhaging money to such an extent. No offspring, mayhap medical expense, debt or the business?
I don't mean to pry, nor saying that you should go down with the ship, just concerned beyond the dry arithmetic of this decision.

Help me with:

[quote]Test.[/quote]

4be8c2d8 78e3 4f52 8977 21b6cc47a3ee
last online: 12/14, 0:56
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(1 day after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Yorick wrote:
i wonder if i made twice what i make now, would my troubles be over? or will i just buy my way into a life needing more? lol.

i'm trying real hard to be a minimalist. :D

More money more problems LOL

4be8c2d8 78e3 4f52 8977 21b6cc47a3ee
last online: 12/14, 0:56
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(1 day after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

jj01 wrote:
"Believe it or not, I make less than $__,000 a year!" (Fill in the blank with what the going annual pay is for what you do.)

I like it!

4be8c2d8 78e3 4f52 8977 21b6cc47a3ee
last online: 12/14, 0:56
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(1 day after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

𝕐ͤͭͥ̇𝕖𝕥𝕚。(Yeti.) wrote:
You've worked several stressful jobs in the past, one of them as an accountant I believe. If it's somewhat above minimum, I don't quite understand wherefore you'd be haemorrhaging money to such an extent. No offspring, mayhap medical expense, debt or the business?
I don't mean to pry, nor saying that you should go down with the ship, just concerned beyond the dry arithmetic of this decision.

No, that is a fair question. My rent is very high, and I still have a lot of student loans. My job also does not offer any type of health insurance. The biggest factor, however, is that my husband has been unemployed for almost a year now except for the odd jobs here and there. He is looking for a job, but being the sole breadwinner and making the same amount of money that I did when I was an intern (very low) is really stressing me out. I have tried my best to cut down on bills, and don’t spend money on anything that isn’t absolutely necessary but it is tough.

Fb img 1591105178602
(1 day after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Araz wrote:

jj01 wrote:
"Believe it or not, I make less than $__,000 a year!" (Fill in the blank with what the going annual pay is for what you do.)

This way, you're being honest, but also naming your expectation.
I like it!

Fb img 1591105178602
(1 day after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Oops...I'm not so good at this quote thing yet....lol

D
(1 day after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Maybe you just need a side gig to make extra money so you can stay where you are a while to see if things get better?

Is there something you could do for a few hours every week that would make a bit of cash without compromising the rest of your life?

4be8c2d8 78e3 4f52 8977 21b6cc47a3ee
last online: 12/14, 0:56
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(1 day after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

jj01 wrote:
This way, you're being honest, but also naming your expectation.

jj01 wrote:
Oops...I'm not so good at this quote thing yet....lol

It’s all good! But yes, it’s an excellent honest answer to a difficult question.

4be8c2d8 78e3 4f52 8977 21b6cc47a3ee
last online: 12/14, 0:56
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(1 day after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

DragonLady wrote:
Maybe you just need a side gig to make extra money so you can stay where you are a while to see if things get better?

Is there something you could do for a few hours every week that would make a bit of cash without compromising the rest of your life?

Oh believe me I am the queen of side gigs. I have my real estate license so I did that and I used to be a part time bookkeeper. Now, however, I’m working long hours here at the office and I’m just so tired from work. My dad is really sick as well so I try to spend as much time as I can helping him with doctor appointments, etc. All of that leaves me very limited free time. What I do have, usually gets used up with family obligations. Honestly, I’m right at the edge of getting burned out but I would be so screwed if I did so I’ll probably just have an aneurysm or heart attack at some point at the pace I’m going.

Animation2 2
(2 days after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Put some feelers out. Talk to friends. Maybe start applying somewhere else and then see if you can start at that other job PT for a couple weeks to feel comfortable there (@ new job) before you completely leave the old one. I know that may not be possible since most places hire you for a FT position, but those things are out there!

I always did that: when I'd get hired at a new job, I would tell them I still had to give notice at old place and would figure out a schedule they would be happy with and that I could do without burning the candle too much at both ends. When it was finally time to quit one, it was a smoother transition. And during that time of working so much extra, money was great.

Ultimately, though, I think you need to leave that company and take care of yourself.

Sherlock by olga tereshenko d9qdidc
(3 days after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

That company is failing. People did not do the right things. It will probably go down the tubes.

My advice: find another job and bail on this company.

Fb img 1591105178602
(3 days after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

I agree that any company that can't or won't pay their workers a living wage is not a viable business and SHOULD shut down.

1581744157174 1581744149313 miss bot
last online: 03/19, 3:49
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(3 days after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

To Sherlock's point, why is the company failing? Is it stuck in the 19th century while your competition is looking to move into the 22nd?
Company loyalty should only go so far.
That said not very many people get to say they love their job and the people they work with. Tough ddecision.

4be8c2d8 78e3 4f52 8977 21b6cc47a3ee
last online: 12/14, 0:56
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(1 week after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Idk why the company isn’t doing as well as it was before. Also. They gave me a promotion. And now I have health insurance from them. But no pay raise.

So I’m just gonna apply for jobs on the side but not be stressed about it. If I get something that I like, great, but I’m not going to just leave for any old crappy position.

But I def can’t just stay here because I like the people. I mean, what if I get pregnant? Obv there’s no maternity leave. You never know.

4be8c2d8 78e3 4f52 8977 21b6cc47a3ee
last online: 12/14, 0:56
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(1 week after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Also what if it’s not just loyalty. What if I’m just scared of not doing well at a new job or getting rejected. What if it really just boils down to insecurity? :/

Animation2 2
(1 week after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

The best way to defeat insecurity is to take the leap.

There's a lot to be said about having medical coverage

This post has been closed. Thanks for stopping by!
⇧ Zoom to top

Help-QA supports basic Markdown, emoji 😁, and tagging friends with @username!