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music=life
last online: 03/02, 13:45
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I have a date this Friday and I just don’t know.

He seems very pushy and I don’t want to put myself in a situation where things can go bad. I don’t know if I’m letting my previous experiences with guys get in the way or if my intuition is right. I agreed to go to a movie with this guy but now he wants me to go to his place 3 hours before the movie to ‘hang out’. I told him I don’t feel comfortable going to his place and he won’t take no for an answer. I don’t want to cancel bc I think it’s good for me to get back out there but I can’t figure out a good compromise with this guy.

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Since writing this post music=life may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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good, place, guy, movie, compromise
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soco
last online: 01/17, 6:13
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Movie only. Suggest going Dutch so there is no obligation past just the movie, though it sounds reasonable to get a small bite to eat AFTER and near the theater. If he still refuses let him walk away. His loss!
soco
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My rule has always always been to never meet either at his place of living OR MINE until some quorum of trust has been established.
Manthy
last online: 05/28, 16:49
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Trust your instincts with this, if he is pushing and won’t take no for an answer, take it as a sign of his character! Stick to the movie only, hell I would personally cancel, because I’d be uncomfortable around a pushy guy.
It’s good to get out there and have good nights out, but it’s also best to choose wisely. I hope you have a good time, it’s also okay if you don’t go through with it.

The other thing is, if you met through a friend, I suppose I’d be more okay with it as opposed to meeting online. And if you’re meeting the first time, always be in public’s sight. Always bring pepper spray with you, though, always 😉 and a pocket knife for good measure 😛
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music=life
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Thank guys. He’s accusing me of only wanted to see the movie and not actually go out with him. Which is not true, if I didn’t want to get to know him I would go see the movie by myself. Since he doesn’t seem interested in the movie I’m trying to think of something else to do that we would be able to get to know eachother more but idk if he’ll go for it
Manthy
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Bowling or going to have a drink and meal at a pub and grill where there is an easy going atmosphere? I like Irish pubs the most.
I don’t know what people do for fun, bowling would probably be better if it were a double date. Otherwise, laser tag is really fun, although there’s not much getting to know each other in that.
Otherwise, a downtown stroll and some coffee to sit and talk over? I love browsing the stores in downtown areas, they’re interesting 🙂
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music=life
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I suggested mini golf but I think if he still pressures me to go to his place I’m going to cancel. It just is discouraging when you try and get back on the horse and you fall back off again

Manthy
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My fiancé and I even struggle with ‘dates’ - we can never choose a place to go or thing to do. But we have some things planned.

I really want to do an escape room, don’t know if you’ve heard of it, they have one in Naperville.
You get locked in a room with other players (of your choosing or not) to solve a mystery and find the key to ‘escape’ - you get let out once the time is up but you’re left clues to figure it out. I so badly want to do this, and I want to make a group to invite, so that I’m not in a room with total strangers. If you want to join when we go, let us know and you could always bring someone with! 🙂
We’re also planning a trip to a farm animal sanctuary, where there are rescued animals you get to interact with. There are only 3 sanctuaries in Illinois but they’re all so far apart.
Manthy
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Hmm, I’m hoping he takes the suggestion or helps come up with something else, otherwise he’s just an arse!
Manthy
last online: 05/28, 16:49
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Don’t be discouraged, I was single (with no dating) for 2 years and then I met my guy. It takes patience, but the right person for you will come along 🙂
Make the focus about having a good time, so you don’t feel disappointed, and men can be very disappointing at times.

smiley
last online: 11/26, 18:47
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Oh my gosh trust your instincts! Pushiness and wanting to to go to his house are both big red flags! Maybe he's just socially a little awkward and doesn't know, so if you're able to give the benefit of the doubt have your date in public. If there's no common interests, cancelling might be the best choice.

BA1
last online: 10/31, 15:31
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Manthy wrote:
- hell I would personally cancel, because I’d be uncomfortable around a pushy guy.

I tend to agree with you Manthy.


I would make a few things clear -
First: "I'm not one of your 'buddies,' - I'm a lady and I expect that to be respected and treated that way, not hounded to hang out at some dog's smash pad."

Secondly, "If I wanted to see the movie for the sake of the movie, I can easily watch it by myself. If you can't handle a simple date, then don't waste my time."

Thirdly: "I want a man, not a whiney, hormonal boy-child who wants to push his way on me."

Fourthly: "I'll give you some time to think about it a$$ho!e - but you don't have forever, so call me when you've pulled your head outta yer a$$ and zipped your fly."

Then hang up.
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music=life
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Manthy wrote:
My fiancé and I even struggle with ‘dates’ - we can never choose a place to go or thing to do. But we have some things planned.

I really want to do an escape room, don’t know if you’ve heard of it, they have one in Naperville.
You get locked in a room with other players (of your choosing or not) to solve a mystery and find the key to ‘escape’ - you get let out once the time is up but you’re left clues to figure it out. I so badly want to do this, and I want to make a group to invite, so that I’m not in a room with total strangers. If you want to join when we go, let us know and you could always bring someone with! 🙂
We’re also planning a trip to a farm animal sanctuary, where there are rescued animals you get to interact with. There are only 3 sanctuaries in Illinois but they’re all so far apart.

He is actually from Naperville so if things work out lol
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music=life
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💀B.A.1.💀 wrote:

Manthy wrote:
- hell I would personally cancel, because I’d be uncomfortable around a pushy guy.

I tend to agree with you Manthy.


I would make a few things clear -
First: "I'm not one of your 'buddies,' - I'm a lady and I expect that to be respected and treated that way, not hounded to hang out at some dog's smash pad."

Secondly, "If I wanted to see the movie for the sake of the movie, I can easily watch it by myself. If you can't handle a simple date, then don't waste my time."

Thirdly: "I want a man, not a whiney, hormonal boy-child who wants to push his way on me."

Fourthly: "I'll give you some time to think about it a$$ho!e - but you don't have forever, so call me when you've pulled your head outta yer a$$ and zipped your fly."

Then hang up.

I love all of these options 😂. He responded to my suggestion with yea, I guess. Things shouldn’t be this difficult so soon.

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music=life
last online: 03/02, 13:45
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Date canceled -he just admitted he wanted to only have ***sex with me.
Manthy
last online: 05/28, 16:49
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So sorry to hear that! 😞 unfortunately, it’s very much the norm these days for men or rather ‘boys’ to think in such a manner.

𝕐ͤͭͥ̇𝕖𝕥𝕚。(Yeti.)
last online: 06/22, 14:37
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music=life wrote:
Date canceled -he just admitted he wanted to only have ***sex with me.

In my opinion, you should reject any approaches outright, and instead seek & ask out a gentleman based on your own estimation of character.
These days, it ought to improve your odds significantly.
soco
last online: 01/17, 6:13
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If you still want to go see a movie, I'll pay for it.
BA1
last online: 10/31, 15:31
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music=life wrote:
Date canceled - he just admitted he wanted to only have ***sex with me.

😵😱
What a crying shame!😦 Well, losers will lose - best to find these things out early😬

soco wrote:
If you still want to go🚶see👀 a movie🌋, I'll pay💵for it.

I'll throw in a few dimes💰 for popcorn🍕, soda🍹🍸 and candy🍬🍭.
Hell....I'll even throw in a box of Kleenx if it's a real tear-jerker💦.
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music=life
last online: 03/02, 13:45
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So for some dumb reason I made a date tonight with a different guy and we are going to a restaurant. I already agreed to it but I’m nervous and don’t want to go
Rockster160
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1787896684" title="Aug 28, 2026 5:58">Aug 28, 2026 5:58</time>
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music=life wrote:
So for some dumb reason I made a date tonight with a different guy and we are going to a restaurant. I already agreed to it but I’m nervous and don’t want to go

I say good on you. 👍
Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with, but let loose and have fun. 😉
soco
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I think you should go. With or without someone - you need to spread your wings. Take in an event where others are around. A concert, movie, sporting event. Enjoy the atmosphere around you. Be in the moment. Have fun!
Manthy
last online: 05/28, 16:49
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Everything will go just fine, just relax, do you take anything to calm yourself down? Have a cup of tea or something, it will be fun going out 🙂 I find that I get too stressed when I’m stuck in my place for too long.
Nix
last online: 11/28, 9:31
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I’m so glad you cancelled. He only wanted one thing from you and I could guarantee that there would have been no movie.

Good luck with your next date 😁😁😁
Yorick
last online: 02/28, 23:53
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yea sounds real sketchy
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music=life
last online: 03/02, 13:45
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Update- new date canceled 🤦🏻‍♀️
Manthy
last online: 05/28, 16:49
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Oh no! What happened?
Manthy
last online: 05/28, 16:49
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Maybe this Friday was never meant to be a date night eh? I’d go get some sparkling wine, ice cream and find a good movie to watch by myself at this point 😛
Mya
last online: 08/21, 7:48
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music=life wrote:
Update- new date canceled 🤦🏻‍♀️

:( whoa! Hope you are okay! hug xx
BA1
last online: 10/31, 15:31
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Details, details, details...
DocteurRalph
last online: 09/26, 15:17
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Is this the same guy or another that just wanted to have ***sex too? Hey at least he was honest, I give him some credit for that.. phew. Redbox is your friend.
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music=life
last online: 03/02, 13:45
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It was a different guy but all is okay. I think I need more time to myself before I try and date again.

soco
last online: 01/17, 6:13
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Don't be afraid to ask friends if you could tag along with them for a few evenings. Insist on paying your own share. Shopping, movies, happy hour, or perhaps a live band at a nice drinking establishment. Have fun. Quit concentrating on your lack of marriage material. When you least expect it, he will emerge above the fray.
Lano
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1786490036" title="Aug 11, 2026 23:13">Aug 11, 2026 23:13</time>
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Any time a guy doesn't take no for an answer and you just started seeing him, tell him game's over and he just lost.

Mya
last online: 08/21, 7:48
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soco wrote:
Don't be afraid to ask friends if you could tag along with them for a few evenings. Insist on paying your own share. Shopping, movies, happy hour, or perhaps a live band at a nice drinking establishment. Have fun. Quit concentrating on your lack of marriage material. When you least expect it, he will emerge above the fray.

Yes, I agree with soco.. Have time out with friends or date and take it slooowly. Don't look for anything serious, just fun and good time; and if he is the right one, he will stick around and wait for s3x.. (but then look who's writing it!).

So hope you will be happy soon, music=life xx
Sherlock
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The movie date guy just wanted to get you into the sack. Not a gentleman at all--just a loser who just lost!
Evansent
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Take a leaf from book and just go with the flow. Life’s to short grab it with both hands.

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