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music=life
last online: 03/02, 13:45
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I have a date this Friday and I just don’t know.

He seems very pushy and I don’t want to put myself in a situation where things can go bad. I don’t know if I’m letting my previous experiences with guys get in the way or if my intuition is right. I agreed to go to a movie with this guy but now he wants me to go to his place 3 hours before the movie to ‘hang out’. I told him I don’t feel comfortable going to his place and he won’t take no for an answer. I don’t want to cancel bc I think it’s good for me to get back out there but I can’t figure out a good compromise with this guy.

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good, place, guy, movie, compromise
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soco
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Movie only. Suggest going Dutch so there is no obligation past just the movie, though it sounds reasonable to get a small bite to eat AFTER and near the theater. If he still refuses let him walk away. His loss!

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We have another hurricane coming this way.

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soco
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My rule has always always been to never meet either at his place of living OR MINE until some quorum of trust has been established.

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We have another hurricane coming this way.

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Manthy
last online: 05/28, 16:49
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Trust your instincts with this, if he is pushing and won’t take no for an answer, take it as a sign of his character! Stick to the movie only, hell I would personally cancel, because I’d be uncomfortable around a pushy guy.
It’s good to get out there and have good nights out, but it’s also best to choose wisely. I hope you have a good time, it’s also okay if you don’t go through with it.

The other thing is, if you met through a friend, I suppose I’d be more okay with it as opposed to meeting online. And if you’re meeting the first time, always be in public’s sight. Always bring pepper spray with you, though, always 😉 and a pocket knife for good measure 😛

43ca60d0 2fa2 42fe b234 d2ff6891f6dc
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music=life
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Thank guys. He’s accusing me of only wanted to see the movie and not actually go out with him. Which is not true, if I didn’t want to get to know him I would go see the movie by myself. Since he doesn’t seem interested in the movie I’m trying to think of something else to do that we would be able to get to know eachother more but idk if he’ll go for it

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Manthy
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Bowling or going to have a drink and meal at a pub and grill where there is an easy going atmosphere? I like Irish pubs the most.
I don’t know what people do for fun, bowling would probably be better if it were a double date. Otherwise, laser tag is really fun, although there’s not much getting to know each other in that.
Otherwise, a downtown stroll and some coffee to sit and talk over? I love browsing the stores in downtown areas, they’re interesting 🙂

43ca60d0 2fa2 42fe b234 d2ff6891f6dc
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music=life
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I suggested mini golf but I think if he still pressures me to go to his place I’m going to cancel. It just is discouraging when you try and get back on the horse and you fall back off again

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Manthy
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My fiancé and I even struggle with ‘dates’ - we can never choose a place to go or thing to do. But we have some things planned.

I really want to do an escape room, don’t know if you’ve heard of it, they have one in Naperville.
You get locked in a room with other players (of your choosing or not) to solve a mystery and find the key to ‘escape’ - you get let out once the time is up but you’re left clues to figure it out. I so badly want to do this, and I want to make a group to invite, so that I’m not in a room with total strangers. If you want to join when we go, let us know and you could always bring someone with! 🙂
We’re also planning a trip to a farm animal sanctuary, where there are rescued animals you get to interact with. There are only 3 sanctuaries in Illinois but they’re all so far apart.

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Manthy
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Hmm, I’m hoping he takes the suggestion or helps come up with something else, otherwise he’s just an arse!

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Manthy
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Don’t be discouraged, I was single (with no dating) for 2 years and then I met my guy. It takes patience, but the right person for you will come along 🙂
Make the focus about having a good time, so you don’t feel disappointed, and men can be very disappointing at times.

Happy earth
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Oh my gosh trust your instincts! Pushiness and wanting to to go to his house are both big red flags! Maybe he's just socially a little awkward and doesn't know, so if you're able to give the benefit of the doubt have your date in public. If there's no common interests, cancelling might be the best choice.

Electric
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Manthy wrote:
- hell I would personally cancel, because I’d be uncomfortable around a pushy guy.

I tend to agree with you Manthy.


I would make a few things clear -
First: "I'm not one of your 'buddies,' - I'm a lady and I expect that to be respected and treated that way, not hounded to hang out at some dog's smash pad."

Secondly, "If I wanted to see the movie for the sake of the movie, I can easily watch it by myself. If you can't handle a simple date, then don't waste my time."

Thirdly: "I want a man, not a whiney, hormonal boy-child who wants to push his way on me."

Fourthly: "I'll give you some time to think about it a$$ho!e - but you don't have forever, so call me when you've pulled your head outta yer a$$ and zipped your fly."

Then hang up.

43ca60d0 2fa2 42fe b234 d2ff6891f6dc
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music=life
last online: 03/02, 13:45
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Manthy wrote:
My fiancé and I even struggle with ‘dates’ - we can never choose a place to go or thing to do. But we have some things planned.

I really want to do an escape room, don’t know if you’ve heard of it, they have one in Naperville.
You get locked in a room with other players (of your choosing or not) to solve a mystery and find the key to ‘escape’ - you get let out once the time is up but you’re left clues to figure it out. I so badly want to do this, and I want to make a group to invite, so that I’m not in a room with total strangers. If you want to join when we go, let us know and you could always bring someone with! 🙂
We’re also planning a trip to a farm animal sanctuary, where there are rescued animals you get to interact with. There are only 3 sanctuaries in Illinois but they’re all so far apart.

He is actually from Naperville so if things work out lol

43ca60d0 2fa2 42fe b234 d2ff6891f6dc
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music=life
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💀B.A.1.💀 wrote:

Manthy wrote:
- hell I would personally cancel, because I’d be uncomfortable around a pushy guy.

I tend to agree with you Manthy.


I would make a few things clear -
First: "I'm not one of your 'buddies,' - I'm a lady and I expect that to be respected and treated that way, not hounded to hang out at some dog's smash pad."

Secondly, "If I wanted to see the movie for the sake of the movie, I can easily watch it by myself. If you can't handle a simple date, then don't waste my time."

Thirdly: "I want a man, not a whiney, hormonal boy-child who wants to push his way on me."

Fourthly: "I'll give you some time to think about it a$$ho!e - but you don't have forever, so call me when you've pulled your head outta yer a$$ and zipped your fly."

Then hang up.

I love all of these options 😂. He responded to my suggestion with yea, I guess. Things shouldn’t be this difficult so soon.

43ca60d0 2fa2 42fe b234 d2ff6891f6dc
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music=life
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Date canceled -he just admitted he wanted to only have ***sex with me.

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Manthy
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So sorry to hear that! 😞 unfortunately, it’s very much the norm these days for men or rather ‘boys’ to think in such a manner.

Helpcomanimatedyetiwithdot256
𝕐ͤͭͥ̇𝕖𝕥𝕚。(Yeti.)
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music=life wrote:
Date canceled -he just admitted he wanted to only have ***sex with me.

In my opinion, you should reject any approaches outright, and instead seek & ask out a gentleman based on your own estimation of character.
These days, it ought to improve your odds significantly.

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[quote]Test.[/quote]

1581744157174 1581744149313 miss bot
soco
last online: 03/19, 3:49
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If you still want to go see a movie, I'll pay for it.

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We have another hurricane coming this way.

Electric
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music=life wrote:
Date canceled - he just admitted he wanted to only have ***sex with me.

😵😱
What a crying shame!😦 Well, losers will lose - best to find these things out early😬

soco wrote:
If you still want to go🚶see👀 a movie🌋, I'll pay💵for it.

I'll throw in a few dimes💰 for popcorn🍕, soda🍹🍸 and candy🍬🍭.
Hell....I'll even throw in a box of Kleenx if it's a real tear-jerker💦.

43ca60d0 2fa2 42fe b234 d2ff6891f6dc
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music=life
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So for some dumb reason I made a date tonight with a different guy and we are going to a restaurant. I already agreed to it but I’m nervous and don’t want to go

Roccoflip
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music=life wrote:
So for some dumb reason I made a date tonight with a different guy and we are going to a restaurant. I already agreed to it but I’m nervous and don’t want to go

I say good on you. 👍
Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with, but let loose and have fun. 😉

1581744157174 1581744149313 miss bot
soco
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I think you should go. With or without someone - you need to spread your wings. Take in an event where others are around. A concert, movie, sporting event. Enjoy the atmosphere around you. Be in the moment. Have fun!

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We have another hurricane coming this way.

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Manthy
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Everything will go just fine, just relax, do you take anything to calm yourself down? Have a cup of tea or something, it will be fun going out 🙂 I find that I get too stressed when I’m stuck in my place for too long.

314sftf
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I’m so glad you cancelled. He only wanted one thing from you and I could guarantee that there would have been no movie.

Good luck with your next date 😁😁😁

Yorick
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yea sounds real sketchy

43ca60d0 2fa2 42fe b234 d2ff6891f6dc
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music=life
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Update- new date canceled 🤦🏻‍♀️

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Manthy
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Oh no! What happened?

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Manthy
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Maybe this Friday was never meant to be a date night eh? I’d go get some sparkling wine, ice cream and find a good movie to watch by myself at this point 😛

Bejbybird
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music=life wrote:
Update- new date canceled 🤦🏻‍♀️

:( whoa! Hope you are okay! hug xx

Electric
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Details, details, details...

Dr. ralph club zps9ornptsl
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Is this the same guy or another that just wanted to have ***sex too? Hey at least he was honest, I give him some credit for that.. phew. Redbox is your friend.

43ca60d0 2fa2 42fe b234 d2ff6891f6dc
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music=life
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It was a different guy but all is okay. I think I need more time to myself before I try and date again.

1581744157174 1581744149313 miss bot
soco
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Don't be afraid to ask friends if you could tag along with them for a few evenings. Insist on paying your own share. Shopping, movies, happy hour, or perhaps a live band at a nice drinking establishment. Have fun. Quit concentrating on your lack of marriage material. When you least expect it, he will emerge above the fray.

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We have another hurricane coming this way.

05ad6afe 1f85 4c4a 8680 4f73a3c1f45c
Lano
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Any time a guy doesn't take no for an answer and you just started seeing him, tell him game's over and he just lost.

Bejbybird
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soco wrote:
Don't be afraid to ask friends if you could tag along with them for a few evenings. Insist on paying your own share. Shopping, movies, happy hour, or perhaps a live band at a nice drinking establishment. Have fun. Quit concentrating on your lack of marriage material. When you least expect it, he will emerge above the fray.

Yes, I agree with soco.. Have time out with friends or date and take it slooowly. Don't look for anything serious, just fun and good time; and if he is the right one, he will stick around and wait for s3x.. (but then look who's writing it!).

So hope you will be happy soon, music=life xx

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The movie date guy just wanted to get you into the sack. Not a gentleman at all--just a loser who just lost!

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Take a leaf from book and just go with the flow. Life’s to short grab it with both hands.

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